Four ways to fend off second-hand stress

Our brains are hardwired for emotional contagion. When you see someone yawn, mirror neurons can activate, making you yawn. But it’s not just smiles and yawns that spread. Like secondhand smoke, we can also pick up negativity, stress and uncertainty.

In our highly connected working world, we are hyperexposed to other people. Thus, we need to find ways to improve our emotional immune system, otherwise we risk the negative effects of second-hand stress.

1.

Change your response: When we see stress as a threat, our bodies and minds miss out on the enhancing effects of stress. (Even at high levels, stress can create greater mental toughness, deeper relationships, heightened awareness, etc.) Instead of fighting and being frustrated at negative people around you, take it as an opportunity to feel compassion or a challenge to help that person become more positive.

2.

Create positive antibodies: Instead of returning a harried co-worker’s stressed nonverbals with an equally stressed grimace of your own, return it with a smile or a nod of understanding. Suddenly you have the power. Also, try not to start your phone calls with “I’m swamped” or “I’m so busy.” Instead, start with a breath and calmly say: “It’s great to talk to you.”

3.

Build natural immunity: One of the greatest buffers against picking up others’ stress is stable and strong self-esteem. The higher your self-esteem, the more likely you will feel that you can deal with whatever situation you face. If you are finding yourself being affected by others’ moods, stop and remind yourself how things are going well and that you can handle anything that comes your way. Exercise is one of the best ways to build self-esteem, because your brain records a victory every time you exercise, via endorphins.

4.

Inoculate yourself: Inoculate yourself before going into work or stressful environments. For example, start your morning by thinking of three things you’re grateful for that day. Some ways to do this are writing a two-minute email praising someone you know, writing down three things for which you’re grateful,

writing about a positive experience for two minutes, doing cardio exercise for 30 minutes or meditating for just two minutes.

Copyright Harvard Business Review 2015