The player

Luigi has a lot to answer for: welcome to the world of the crap sidekick, writes JOE GRIFFIN

KILLZONE 3and Bulletstormhave a lot in common. They're both fast-paced first-person shooters, and both are basking in deserved acclaim. They also both suffer from a disease that's ravaged video games since Luigi tagged along with Mario: crap sidekick syndrome.

Let's start with Bulletstorm'sIshi. At one stage he was a best friend of the hero, Grayson, but now, following a tragic space accident, he's rendered half-man, half-machine. What this amounts to is some cool design (a bit like what Bruce Lee would look like as a mangled Terminator), but a humourless, annoying character. His main purpose is to serve as an exposition sponge and deliverer and to sneer at Grayson's jokes.

Rico Velasquez in Kil lzone 3doesn't fare much better. This brother-in-arms of Sergeant Thomas Sevchenko is a bossy, nagging soldier. "Follow me," Rico says as you're following him. "I'll take point," he'll call, as he's walking ahead. "I'm in pain," he cries as you go to save him (again). He's constantly running and hiding behind corners, posing with his guns, even in empty rooms, which makes him look like a child playing soldiers.

Perhaps developers think that gamers get lonely as we sit in a room playing for hours on end? We don't, so in games such as Gr and Theft Auto IVwe don't want our antihero's needy cousin, Roman Bellic, calling us up for a game of bowling.

While characteristics of these bit players can be annoying, their gameplay bugs can be infuriating. There are moments in Bulletstormin which you have to wait for Ishi to catch up, and in Killzone 3I had to replay a level in which Rico stood by instead of helping.

The best sidekick is a gentle presence who occasionally enhances the game. Fable III shows that a dog can be man’s best friend – a lovable Border collie helps you find hidden objects, warns if there’s danger about and mucks in when there’s a fight.

Captain John Price in the Call of Dutyseries works well too. The SAS man gives useful orders and tart one-liners through his magnificent moustache. Also, he knows what he's doing and proves especially useful in the climax of Modern Warfare 2. In one scene where he gets seriously injured, it's genuinely poignant.

No man is an island, and sometimes in-game sidekicks can be a handy instruction device and comic relief, but for the most part, gamers would rather walk alone.