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As I sit here writing this article, I’m met with what looks to be another sleepless night. The reason for it is nothing external but rather something very much internal: a mind that just won’t shut off.
Despite having a full-on work day and feeling physically tired, the bulb is still on above and my eyes aren’t heavy. All the while, my body is aching and in desperate need of rest. This happens frequently and, every time, I try my best to switch off and get to sleep.
However, the constant flow of thoughts leaves me tossing and turning. Eventually, I give up and try to read something to make me tired or even watch something. Unfortunately, it still doesn’t work. This is just one example of a time where the overthinking gets too much and I really wish I could somehow escape my mind while remaining in my body. As I said, this is just one example where my mind is too heightened and does not allow my body to enter the resting stage.
At this point in my life, even though I am far on my way in my mental health recovery journey, overthinking still remains a regular occurrence. The truth is that overthinking can be so debilitating to a person. I overanalyse everything I do, say, think and every situation. If I make a mistake on something, I cannot escape the cycles of negative thoughts attached to the mistake. It couldn’t be more exhausting; however, despite the exhaustion, the tiredness definitely does not set me free.
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Finally being able to relax will be the key to health, happiness and peace with yourself, but it’s not easy to get there
Similar to a lot of mental health concerns, overthinking is something we increasingly normalise rather than looking at it as a health issue. We all do it from time to time but a lot of people, including myself, experience it constantly, to the point where it plagues our lives. It is a vicious cycle, because it causes a person’s mental health to decline further which only results in more overthinking. The worst part about overthinking is that it can impact other areas of your life – your career, social life, relationship with your partner and more.
Whether it’s pondering continuously about whether your friends are genuine friends or actually like you, or if you are up to various tasks at work, it affects one’s confidence and self-esteem. Moreover, it can even start to cause separations between friends and partners or affect your work performance. As someone with anxiety and an issue with overthinking, all I want is to be reassured.
[ How to stop overthinking: ‘Life is full of what ifs. Embrace the grey’ ]
Unfortunately, not everyone understands this need for constant reassurance, especially if they do not navigate these issues. When we overthink about whether our friends really like us, for example, or whether we are a good enough friend, we may go to the friend for that reassurance. If the issue continues to come up due to needing constant reassurance and peace of mind, these individuals can occasionally become irritated by it. It’s understandable from their perspective, though, as they do not understand why you need it.
Not to mention, from their perspective, it may come across as insulting or as though the negative thoughts you have are a reflection of them. This only proves the importance of having open conversations with the people in your life who are experiencing anxiety or overthinking. If you find it irritating for these thoughts to be brought up every now and again, imagine what it is like for them to be trapped with these thoughts in continuous cycles. Those suffering from overthinking may experience some unpleasant physical symptoms too.
We need to encourage open and honest conversations about mental health and respond to them with our best level of understanding and empathy
Overthinking and not sharing those thoughts can be similar to bottling up emotions and not having open conversations for release. In my case, overthinking leaves me exhausted – physically as well as emotionally. I feel the heavy thoughts in every part of my body and they weigh me down. It can feel like such a significant challenge to hold my head up high. The stress associated with having these thoughts and not letting them out can cause me to break out in spots or rashes, pick my skin, withdraw from social interaction and activities I normally enjoy, and neglect my needs as a living, breathing human being.
Sometimes, when people who overthink open up to people about this toxic habit, they are met with responses such as “just relax”, “calm down”, or “quit worrying”. While these responses come with good intentions, they very much miss the mark. That is because overthinking is a difficult cycle to break and relaxing can feel almost impossible. Finally being able to relax will be the key to health, happiness and peace with yourself, but it’s not easy to get there.
[ Release your stuff: 12 ways to meditate without actually meditating ]
As a friend, partner, family member, or colleague, the best thing you can do to support someone in your life who is overthinking is to try to understand how they are feeling. Overthinking may not seem to be a big deal to some, which is understandable because it is not a condition on its own. However, overthinking is a symptom of mental health issues such as depression and anxiety.
And mental health issues feed off one another. With all of this in mind, it should be taken seriously and not simply swept under the rug or dismissed. We can all overthink a situation, but thinking too much on a frequent basis is when it becomes a problem. It seems many may not deem it a serious problem because they do not have a sense of what is too much.
When it comes to breaking the cycle, it all comes down to having people in your life who can help you see the rational side of situations.
This is not to say that your thoughts are irrational but we are our worst critics and things usually aren’t what we think they are when it comes to negative thoughts. We need to encourage open and honest conversations about mental health and respond to them with our best level of understanding and empathy.
While you may not be able to help someone suffering from overthinking to stop doing it, you may be able to offer them some relief through open communication.