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Family Fortunes: Pay talks with our mother turned us into skilled negotiators

In a family of 10 children, we had to make a strong case for a pocket money raise

The price of ‘Bunty’ and Silvermints meant I really needed a pay increase of at least 3d

Mary Flynn
Thu Dec 3 2015 - 10:00

It was time for the annual pay talks, my chance to make my case for a raise. I had my arguments carefully prepared as I took my place at the table. I was nervous; I hoped I would be successful, as I really needed the extra money.

There were 10 of us at the table and my mother chaired the negotiations. I and each of my siblings would be given the opportunity to ask for an increase in our pocket money, but we each had to justify the increase sought.

Then everyone else had their say on whether the increase should be allowed or not, but also had to have supporting arguments for their position. It was 1972, I was 12 years old, and I was looking for an increase on my current pocket money of 6d. The price of Bunty and Silvermints meant I really needed a pay increase of at least 3d.

The youngest at the negotiating table was just five years old, but her opinion was asked on each case presented. And while she may have just echoed what had been said by the previous person, she was being taught that her opinion counted. Inevitably, there would be tears and arguments until, after much negotiating, a round of increases would be agreed in return for increased productivity in terms of housework, schoolwork, and son on.

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Many years later it came as no surprise to find so many of my family involved in trade unions and staff associations or taking on positions as advocates for work colleagues. That annual exercise taught each of us to present a case for what we wanted, with supporting arguments, and to critically evaluate other people’s arguments.

In many ways, my mother was a woman ahead of her time, who, through such a simple annual exercise, allowed us to develop skills that we have used throughout our lives.

Now we look back fondly at those days of negotiations, also remembering that, without realising it, we were being taught many life skills that have stood us in good stead.

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