GO NICHE

YES, WELL, that’s enough of that. For a while the recession was fun. Now the novelty has worn off, and it’s time to get back to normality. In the spirit of which, can we interest you in the world’s costliest hotel package?

For $1 million (or an even cheaper-sounding €765,000) the Emirates Palace will fly you first class from anywhere served by Etihad, including Dublin, to Abu Dhabi.

You spend the next seven nights in the hotel’s 680sq m Palace Suite (that’s 7,300sq ft in old money, or about six three-bedroom semis). Decorated in gold, silver and marble, and with a lavish bedroom, it has a butler to make you feel at home. As if.

Waiting outside is a chauffeur-driven Maybach – as is a private jet, engines ticking over in readiness for your first day trip – to Iran, where you design a Persian carpet to be made by hand. Next you jet off to Jordan, to wallow in the Dead Sea, followed by spa treatments at the Kempinski Hotel Ishtar. Then there is a quick hop to Bahrain, to see pearl diving at first hand and, of course, take away a few choice souvenirs crafted into fine jewellery. You’ll also be taken to Yas, the region’s best-known perfumer, to create a signature scent.

Gifts to take home include more pearls from Tahiti’s Robert Wan, as well as a selection of “sporting guns”. Good luck getting those through the airport.

Anyway, close your eyes and pretend it’s last year. You’d just stick it on the credit card.

www.emiratespalace.com.