GO NICHE

THANKS, SANTA. Not just the real one but the store ones, the charity ones and the ones who lit Christmas lights in villages around the country. You played a blinder.

After all, it isn't easy to fill the big man's boots, even for an hour or two. One slip and you could shatter a child's Christmas spirit irreparably.

I know, having just seen a Santa on ice knock a kid over and skate on by. What with all those pillows under his suit, it was an accident, probably. But it mightn't be a bad idea for anyone planning to don the red suit next year to brush up on the etiquette involved.

And we have just the place to do it. The Charles W Howard Santa Claus School, in Michigan, is the world's oldest school dedicated to the art of portraying Mr Claus.

Established by a former Macy's Santa in 1937, the Yule school's academic credentials are impeccable. Its mission is to uphold the traditions and preserve the history of Santa Claus, which is trickier than you might think.

Recent years have seen a number of unfortunate Santa incidents around the world, including the store Santa fired because his bosses thought the traditional "ho ho ho" greeting was offensive to women, as it might have implied they were prostitutes.

Then there was the Rio de Janeiro Santa whose helicopter was shot at by gunmen as he made his way to a street party. They thought he was the police. Had he been to Santy school, he'd have known to arrive in a sleigh.

www.santaclausschool.com