YOU DON'T JUST stumble into Skybar, aka "the most exclusive bar in the world". You have to psyche (and doll) yourself up for the experience. This is where A-list Hollywood stars and other industry big-hitters do their partying.
It's part of the obscenely expensive Mondrian hotel in Los Angeles, the sort of place where the guy who parks your car is better dressed, and probably better paid, than you are.
If you can negotiate the lobby without exclaiming "Look, it's Dustin Hoffman talking to Jack Nicholson" and generally making a show of yourself, head for the swimming pool at the back of the hotel. Look up to see the bar, in a sublime ivy-covered pavilion.
Grab an oversized lounge chair, make admiring noises about the giant terracotta pots around you and prepare for an evening of serious star-spotting.
Everyone else will be beautiful, perfect, charming and wonderful - but don't let that put you off. Dig into the Midori Martini cocktails - melon and vodka: how could you go wrong? - and you'll soon be over your inferiority complex.
The views are spectacular. Los Angeles may not have the most spectacular skyline, but here it takes on a wonderful dreamy quality. And do try to time your visit so you take in a sunset - it really enhances the mood.
It can be quite difficult to get into Skybar. It helps if you wear large sunglasses, dress like a film star and march around as if you own the place.
Avoid bursting into tears when you see your bill. Just sign on the dotted line and resolve to stay in for the next six months.
One last thing: don't be a typical Paddy and get roaring drunk, then fall into the pool on your way out.
• Skybar, Mondrian Los Angeles, 8440 Sunset Boulevard, 00-1-323- 6508999, www.mondrianhotel.com
Do you know of a hidden gem? E-mail us at go@irish-times.ie
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