‘After I go back, I want to tell Ukrainian people about the kindness of Irish people’

Little more than a year ago, Kateryna Kovalchuk was a successful businesswoman in Ukraine, working in the area of event management. But, she says, all of that changed overnight following Russia’s invasion.

“On February 23rd [2022], you have a normal life, you’re happy and your children have normal, happy childhoods with dreams. On February 24th, we woke up in a scary situation,” she says.

Originally from Kherson in Ukraine, Kovalchuk arrived in Ireland on May 1st with her nine-year-old son Demian.

The 39-year-old still struggles to accept what she experienced prior to the relocation, but her biggest concern is the impact the war will have on the children of Ukraine.

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“Our city was occupied in the first days. The war started in our city at once. We had no change to our normal situation because Russian soldiers began to bomb our city in the first days. Sometimes, even now, I think I am in a film about war and it’s not real. It’s not about my life,” she says.

The family hid in a bomb shelter for a month, which was particularly difficult for her son. He wanted to return to his normal life, filled with tennis, and couldn’t understand that this was not possible.

Mary is my friend because she is an angel. She helped me in the new country and helped my child

“He is a nine-year-old boy who saw bombings, rockets, and the loss of his home. Russia stole his happy childhood from him. When we were hiding in a bomb shelter, the only thing that could make a kid smile was the memories of tennis and the constant questions about when he could play,” Kovalchuk says.

Demian developed insomnia, which made her realise she could no longer continue to hide out in Kherson. That journey seeking safety was “long and not easy”, Kovalchuk says.

“But after months, we have a change. It’s our decision and our risk. The nearest Ukrainian city was 100km. When we were able to escape from the occupation, we went to a safer part of Ukraine, to Lviv. For three or four days, we slept in the car,” she explains.

“We lived in Lviv for two months. But, unfortunately, the war woke us up there too. In Lviv, a Russian rocket hit an oil depot, and we were driving nearby. They are terrible memories that will never be forgotten. And it’s also scary that my son saw it all and remembers it.”

The family arrived in Ireland in May, choosing the State as their place of refuge as their friends had emigrated here a decade earlier. They are living in Citywest Hotel in Dublin, and creating a life for themselves.

“When we came to Ireland, it was a wonderful, fairytale story. I am walking near the Phoenix Park, it is my first or second day in Ireland and I’m so sad and crying. This lady comes up to me, and I told her my story and about my son, because every day he was asking me questions and I didn’t know anything about how I could help my child,” Kovalchuk says.

“We spoke with this woman, and the next day she found me, I don’t know how, and she said she called an old tennis club in Dublin and the tennis club in Castleknock has a place for your child. It was a wonderful story. Now Mary is my friend because she is an angel. She helped me in the new country and helped my child.”

Allowing Demian to play tennis again has made him indescribably happy, Kovalchuk says.

“In this tennis club, we found a family. All children support my son. The coaches. The support helps my son. Now, we only have one problem is that we live far away – two hours [on public transport] – from Castleknock. For a little boy it’s not easy to go every day for two hours, but for him, tennis is his dream,” she says.

“It’s expensive for us because transport in Dublin is not cheap. But it [that cost] is not so important after war.”

Although Demian has found his passion again, Kovalchuk constantly worries about him and how he’s coping after witnessing such violence in the early days of the war.

The most important thing is in Ireland, there is so much kindness in people

“It was very scary and after that, when loud sounds happen, it is very scary for you. You understand that it’s not a bomb, but your body still thinks it is. Even now, after a year,” she says.

“Sometimes, I think that our children are not children now. They grow up very quickly and, of course, we live in a hotel so he has no room. It’s very hard because our Ukrainian children have their childhood in here. It’s not normal. It’s very important for children to have their own space. But we try to live a good life.”

Life has also changed for Kovalchuk, who describes herself as a businesswoman when she was back in Ukraine.

“It’s very hard to work because I am looking after my child, but I try to work but not full-time. It’s hard for me. I was working in Ukraine. I was a businesswoman and I had lots of schedules,” she says.

At the beginning, I didn’t think it was real. I would think: ‘It’s true? You want to help me?’ I didn’t know why they wanted to help

Kovalchuk says she misses everything about her old life, but the friendliness of Irish people eases that loss.

“But I think the most important thing is in Ireland, there is so much kindness in people. I travelled a lot in my life, I worked in event management, I owned an event company, that’s why I travelled a lot because I ran weddings in other countries,” she explains.

“But I didn’t see such a kind people in Ireland. It’s not real. At the beginning, I didn’t think it was real. I would think: ‘It’s true? You want to help me?’ I didn’t know why they wanted to help.”

Though the family are grateful for the respite provided by Ireland, they try not to think too much about the future. The war itself has taught them how uncertain life can be.

“We live day by day,” Kovalchuk says. “Of course, yeah, we want to return, especially my son. All my family are in Ukraine, I have parents, my grandma, and that’s why we want to return. After I go back, I want to tell Ukrainian people about the kindness of Irish people.”

We would like to hear from people who have moved to Ireland in the past 10 years. To get involved, email newtotheparish@irishtimes.com or tweet @newtotheparish