Badly Bilingual of Belfast shows his disapproval - in any man's language

The 'bonkery' and the elite right are in the Sinn Féin leader's firing line as cross-party efforts to decorate Enda's office fail to generate much-needed cheer, writes MIRIAM LORD

SOME PEOPLE are happy with the budget.

Gerry Adams has a phrase for these individuals.

He calls them “na bonkery agus na elite”. According to Gerry, they always emerge with the best deals when European leaders meet to plot a way out of the economic crisis. Austerity budgets never affect them.

Badly Bilingual of Belfast likes to talk about “na bonkery” a lot. Each time he mentions them in the Dáil, we fall to wondering who they might be. A highly sexed subsection of the elite, one supposes.

You can only imagine what class of carry-on they get up to.

The bonkery and the elite did well out of last week’s Council of Europe meeting, Deputy Adams remarked to the Taoiseach during Leaders’ Questions. And this, after Enda told the public in a live television broadcast that he wants to be “the Taoiseach who retrieves Ireland’s economic sovereignty”. He won’t do that by kow-towing to the bonkery.

Even so, Gerry was wowed by Enda’s fine words. Although he had a slight issue with what had actually taken place in front of the cameras that night in Government Buildings.

In the world according to Adams, Enda didn’t deliver a “state of the nation” address, rather, he delivered an “address on the state of this part of the nation”. An important distinction for a Sinn Féin leader making his way in the Free State.

Still. A viewer is a viewer. “I’m glad you watched that,” smiled Enda.

“I did. Ha Ha! It was amaaazin.” There was no need for that tone. Poor Enda did his best.

This was a special Leaders’ Questions in that the Opposition leaders had been in with Enda earlier in the day to help him put up the Christmas decorations in his office.

It didn’t go well. Micheál Martin, Gerry Adams and Catherine Murphy, representing the technical group, didn’t look too happy when they emerged. It seems they had been under the impression that they were to be briefed on the outcome of the European summit.

The Taoiseach insisted afterwards he gave them a full rundown.

If he did, Gerry Adams totally got the wrong end of the stick. Micheál Martin never mentioned Brussels during his contribution, preferring to talk about the budget. Catherine Murphy was on the radio and she gave the distinct impression that she was somewhat confused over what exactly Enda told them that morning.

“And I took notes.” Which is a difficult thing to do when you’re blowing up Santa balloons. This is what probably made Gerry Adams light in the head and rendered him temporarily deaf.

He recalled the meeting – or at least, how it happened for him.

“You shared with us this morning a letter which you wrote to President Van Rompuy. And it’s a very fine letter indeed.”

Enda inclined his head in acknowledgement.

Gerry went on to read out the letter, in which, among other things, the Taoiseach told Herman Van Rompuy that he would be raising the issue of reducing Ireland’s debt while at the meeting.

The Sinn Féin leader was puzzled. Because after showing off his fine letter, Enda told the Opposition leaders that he never brought up the subject.

“And I was wondering: did you forget. Did you leave the letter behind ya. Were you tired? Why didn’t you do it?”

Apart from Gerry, the two others who met Enda were in the chamber. Presumably, they would back up the Sinn Féin leader’s version of events? Catherine got her chance later on radio, but she couldn’t help.

Micheál just looked annoyed. This is because he had just been trying to get a satisfactory answer out of the Taoiseach about budget cuts applied to disadvantaged people on very low income.

“They were snuck in, and a wait-and-see approach was applied,” said the Fianna Fáil leader, instancing cases of people who had taken substantial hits in their meagre payments.

Then he said he heard anecdotally of people earning upwards of €90,000 who “are saying that the budget is alright and that it doesn’t affect me”. And he didn’t even get around to the pampered elite and bonkery.

“Na bonkery?” We discovered the official Dáil record has them down as “na bainceirí.” Or the bankers. We prefer the bonkery.

He looked at the Taoiseach. “How can anybody stand up and say that this budget is alright?” Micheál was very cheesed off.

Enda, though, seemed in good spirits. He told Gerry Adams exactly what transpired during the meeting.

“What you are now saying is not what you were told.

“It’s not a case of me forgetting . . . It’s a case of you deliberately misinterpreting what I said this morning. Because I said that I did raise it at the council of ministers,” stressed the Taoiseach. “Now if you didn’t hear that this morning, then either you or your advisor do not understand plain English. Because I thought I made it very clear.”

Enda should know by now that the Sinn Féin leader – Badly Bilingual of Belfast – does not recognise plain English. Gerry Adams effortlessly mangles two languages on a regular basis in the Dáil.

At least Enda is impressed.

“There was a music outfit one time called Mike and the Mechanics and they used to sing a song called Isn’t it Amazing,” he said to Gerry, indicating that this was what he thought of his contribution.

We’ve never heard of them singing that song, perhaps Enda was thinking of one of their better known numbers: All I Need is a Miracle.