MIRIAM LORD'S WEEK

Kenny backtracks on 'populist nonsense'; gamesmanship on hairshirts; TDs disgruntled at Biffo's tone; lucky escape for Denis O'Brien; socialists turn their fire on McCreevy; Norris's money in a safe place; parsing a banker's Yes

WHEN IS populist nonsense not populist nonsense? The answer, according to Fine Gael leader Enda Kenny, is when it's "a symbolic gesture." Last Wednesday on Today FM's Last Wordprogramme, presenter Matt Cooper remarked in an interview with Kenny that Paul Gogarty had just called on politicians to take an 8 per cent pay cut.

Matt: "We had, in the last half hour, Paul Gogarty of the Green Party TD in here, and I'm sure you've been aware of it during the day. He has made a call for all TDs, Senators and senior civil servants to set an example, to put their money where their mouths are." Cue indignant splutters from Enda.

Matt continues: "And he wants an 8 per cent decrease in the pay, for the next two years, of TDs and Senators . . ." Enda can contain himself no more, and jumps in: "Populist nonsense!" he harrumphs. "Populist nonsense from Paul Gogarty!" Yesterday, IndaKinny solemnly declared that he is taking a 5 per cent pay cut next year - as a symbolic gesture.

Not bad. It only took two days for the penny to drop.

Ranks of the selfless

It's hairshirts at dawn around Leinster House. First out of the traps was GoGo Gogarty and his 8 per cent, hotly pursued by Finian McGrath, distraught over the fact he hadn't thought of it first. Finian raised the bar to 10 per cent. Then Enda brought up the rear with his 5 per cent.

His announcement has been viewed as a pre-budget spoiler. It is rumoured the Government may announce a wage cut for politicians on Tuesday.

Enda's attack of the symbolics at the launch yesterday of his party's pre-budget had a knock-on effect on his colleagues with him at the top table. Needless to say, Richard Bruton and Kieran O'Donnell were immediately asked if they would follow suit.

Enda blustered that it wasn't fair to put that question to them, as his decision was a personal one. However, the two boys said they would also seek a cut. After the conference, Deputy Kenny turned to his colleagues and said "Sorry to land you in that there." Kieran replied: "I'll have to set the wife on you."

As soon as Enda's gesture became public, the game of competitive hairshirts moved up a gear. GoGo issued a statement welcoming Deputy Kenny's U-turn, while Finian claimed he was responsible for it. Meanwhile, Fine Gael's Joe Carey joined and immediately signed himself up to the ranks of the selfless, announcing that he had been thinking about taking a pay cut for weeks.

We rang Michael Ring. Speaking from Kiltimagh national school, the Fine Gael TD for Mayo said he had no intention of seeking a pay cut. "I'm waiting to see now if the Ministers and former ministers give up their fat pensions and the ones who are teachers give up their pensions as well. Then I'll consider it."

Biffo's new nickname

The Taoiseach is a trifle ratty these days. Understandable, given the pressure he's under.

Relaxing over a few pints in the members' bar with buddies from their Dáil racehorse syndicate, conversation moved to next week's budget.

"They'll be applauding you," said former deputy GV Wright, trying to chivvy him up.

"Yeah, the effin' Opposition," retorted a gloomy Biffo.

Meanwhile, at a stormy Fianna Fáil parliamentary party meeting on Tuesday evening, Cowen tore into his deputies, informing them he was less than impressed by their performances and telling them to up their game.

It was no surprise when he berated deputies Jim McDaid and Tom McEllistrim for failing to turn up for the big vote on the emergency finance measures, but many deputies and senators were less than impressed by the overall tone of his lecture.

After Biffo barked his way through the meeting, backed up by his chief whip, Pat Carey, the disgruntled politicians filed out, muttering to each other that going to meetings with the Taoiseach was like going to school. And they had a new, most unlikely, nickname for their leader.

They're calling Cowen "The Reverend Principal", and sidekick Carey is "The Dean".

Michael D 'Lugs' Higgins

Last Monday, in a quiet Leinster House, few people noticed the perspiring Labour party official lugging a very large oil painting through the corridors. Those who did are still giggling.

It was a portrait of a strange looking man with very large ears and a big head of blonde curls. And, apparently, it was Michael D Higgins.

The painting, by a leading artist, was presented to deputy Higgins a number of months ago. Michael D likes it so much that he decided this week to bring it from his home and hang it in a prominent position in his Dáil office.

However, despite repeated pleas from The Irish Times, Michael D is refusing to show us the picture.

"It's abstract," is all he would say.

Grizzled economists

The Doheny and Nesbitts School of Economics is back.

Long-time customers of the popular bar have been amused at the return of a group of grizzled economists, who last reigned supreme during the recession in the 1980s.

There have been sightings of Paddy Geary, Terry Corcoran, Colm McCarthy and Sean Barrett in one of the snugs, and they've never looked happier.

We don't know if either of the two Brians - no strangers to the back bar - have nipped across from Government Buildings to sound out the sages in the snug, but going by what the Taoiseach was saying to the Dáil during the week, there can't be an economist in the country who hasn't been pumped for advice.

Indeed, the sight of billionaire Denis O'Brien trotting up the Leinster House plinth on Wednesday led to some feverish speculation about the reason for his visit.

Was he joining the growing list of bankers and whizz-kid economists advising the two Brians? Sadly, no. Denis was visiting the Minister for Education with Dr Paul Mooney of the National College of Ireland. Denis is chairman of that excellent institution, and they were in with Batt O'Keeffe for a brief meeting to discuss the college's status.

Mind you, had the two Brians found out he was in Leinster House, Denis might still be chained to a radiator in Government Buildings today, never again to see his villa in Portugal until the Government finishes taking soundings on the finer points of their guarantee to the banks.

Lenihan is lucky to have many wise heads to call upon for advice. None better, one assumes, than his brother Niall, who has a fierce big legal job with the European Central Bank.

Charlie the arsonist fox

Commissioner Charlie McCreevy is under sustained attack in Europe this week following his appointment to an EU steering group on the financial crisis.

On Wednesday, Socialist Group leader Martin Schultz denounced McCreevy's appointment as "the arsonists taking over the fire brigade". The socialists are calling for him to be moved from the internal market portfolio, saying he was asleep on his watch while the banks were careering out of control. For over three years, McCreevy fought against imposing stricter financial regulation on the banks.

Schultz described McCreevy as "an apologist for unrestrained market capitalism". He added: "We have had to listen for years to how the market would sort it all out and how one day we were all going to benefit from the market. Well, the house is on fire. We need the fire-fighters." On Thursday, Green MEP Heide Rühle changed the metaphor. Arsonist Charlie was now McCreevy the fox. With the nomination of EU Interior Commissioner McCreevy in the permanent steering group, Commission President Barroso was "leaving the fox to guard the chickens," she said. "McCreevy has, until now, been strongly against regulation of hedge funds and private equity. He will not budge from his position in favour of self-regulation of the market and is responsible for the lack of anybody to supervise the financial markets at European levels."

It seems Charlie's light touch on regulation is now out of touch - President Barroso is now forcing him to move ahead with regulating the hedge funds.

And the attack continued yesterday, with the EU's executive body rejecting demands to have Kildare's arsonist fox removed for failing to tackle the worst financial crisis in 80 years.

"Charlie McCreevy has long been the butt of complaints from the European Parliament, where some members have accused him of being too light-touch in his job and more passionate about attending horserace meetings," reports Reuters.

A spokeswoman for the commission rejected the criticism. "President Barroso has full confidence in Commissioner McCreevy," Pia Ahrenkilde Hansen told a news briefing.

"Full confidence?" That's never a good sign.

Charlie's office had no immediate comment.

Lee sets off the alarm

Much early morning levity at the ESRI headquarters on Tuesday, when the body launched its quarterly economic outlook. Ten minutes into the gloomfest, RTÉ's George Lee arrived. The moment he stepped across the threshold, the fire alarm went off.

Nobody left the room. Everyone sat and waited until it stopped. "A typical Irish reaction," said a senior economist, "when you hear a fire alarm, assume there's no fire." And if you happen to be a bank, even better, because the Government has you fireproofed.

Anger at Harney photo

Minister for Health Mary Harney is seeking an apology from the Daily Mailafter the newspaper published a photograph this week showing her sitting at a sink in the hairdressers, with her hair wet and a towel around her shoulders.

In a separate move, Government press secretary, Eoghan Ó Neachtain, has been in contact with the Press Ombudsman to "clarify the position" relating to the taking of photographs of individuals in private places without their consent. Ministers reacted angrily to the picture, which appeared in Tuesday's edition of the paper and appears to have been taken through the window of the premises. "It's a new low in Irish journalism and a gross invasion of privacy," one Cabinet member told us. "Where does this end? They'll be following us into the toilet next." It is understood that Mary Harney feels the use of the photograph was not appropriate and she has written to the editor of the Daily Mail to convey that view.

"Mary isn't just thinking about herself - she's well used to having all sorts of things said about her in the newspapers. But she feels that people, no matter what they do in life, are entitled to their privacy," said a spokesman.

We understand the Minister is awaiting a response and the Government press secretary is keeping his powder dry.

Tied up in knots

Here's some useless information.

Fine Gael's Leo Varadkar needed to buy a bow-tie recently for a formal function. He nipped over from the Dáil to Marks and Spencer and purchased one. When he got back to his office, he discovered he hadn't bought a readymade bow and would have to tie it himself.

He couldn't.

So he ended up doing a tour of Leinster House, asking deputies and Senators from all sides if they could do the honours. But not one, not even the sartorially daring David Norris, was able to do up the bow.

A suitably bib-and-tuckered Leo finally managed to get to the ball. The enterprising deputy stapled his black tie into place.

Meanwhile, Senator Norris tells us he is tired of people asking him: "Is your money under the mattress?" "I tell them now - Oh, no. It's in a much safer place, the past!"

Dividends - well, yes

A fascinating radio interview last week with Sean Fitzpatrick, boss of Anglo Irish Bank. Marian Finucane asked him if the bank, which has had to be rescued by the taxpayers, would be paying out dividends this year.

Mr Fitzpatrick muses on the possibility of a divvy-up:

"Will there be a dividend this year? I mean, I can't say that, I can't say to you in relation to Anglo Irish Bank, because that would be wrong and inappropriate.

"But let me put it this way. The world hasn't stopped. We were talking about a liquidity problem, we weren't talking about a profitability problem, and the banks will look at all of these.

"We've got a list of the detail of what's going to be in the detailed regulations next week and we're going to look at that and we're going to have to discuss that with the Central Bank and the Department of Finance and reach a solution which is right, not just for the banks, but also for Government and the taxpayer."

That's a yes, so.