Not a party - but the wake could well have been a riot

DÁIL SKETCH:Morbidity the order of the day as laments flow for Mother Ireland

THE MORBID text jokes and property sale gags have begun. The texts include a death notice for “Éire 1922-2010 (after a terminal illness bravely borne) predeceased by her founding fathers Arthur (Griffith) and Michael (Collins), survived by her grieving 4.3 million children. Removal from Cowen and Lenihan’s funeral home to the Church of the IMF.”

One property listing shows a map of Ireland and lists it as an island on the edge of western Europe, for sale for €900 billion or nearest offer. Brian Cowen is listed as the contact.

In the Dáil the topic of the day was the perilous state of the economy. But it was a supreme irony that on the day of claims about the end of sovereignty and independence, there should be a debate on the Irish language, which is actually “on the edge” of extinction.

And in case anyone is considering emigration, Minister for Foreign Affairs Micheál Martin warned during question time against moving to the US without a proper visa.

Throughout the day there was little levity, morbid or otherwise, but the historical funereal references were plentiful from the Wild Geese, to 1916 and the State’s founding fathers. The atmosphere reflected a patient on life support with preparations for a wake under way. There was no chance of the wake turning into a party, but it could well have been a riot.

Heckling, trading of insults from “keep your gob shut” to “you’re bringing back in the Brits”, and the inevitable expulsion of a deputy from the House preceded by an adjournment and a vote on the issue, were part and parcel of the ruckus.

The quietest of all on the day was Tánaiste Mary Coughlan. She may well have learnt from Taoiseach Brian Cowen’s convolutions in the Dáil on Wednesday. He wanted to sound like Ireland is saving the euro but, in reality, transformed the ship LE Ireland Inc into the Titanic and moved it directly in front of the iceberg.

It took the plain speaking of governor of the Central Bank Patrick Honohan to steer the ship out of immediate harm’s way.

And it has to be said that yesterday in the Dáil the Tánaiste was a quick study on it all. She declined to respond when the Opposition condemned the mere 95 minutes for a debate on the perilous state of the economy. The one point she did make later was to stress that whatever way the discussions with the IMF, EU and ECB went “the 12.5 per cent corporation tax is non-negotiable”.

Opposition anger at the whole situation was descriptive, to say the least. “This day represents the conclusion of the type of politics practised by the Tánaiste’s party – cronyism, sleeveen politics, digouts, nods and winks, how’s your father,” said Enda Kenny.

Eamon Gilmore said “this country is being humiliated by the manner in which the Government has been dealing with the financial situation and international institutions”.

But the most excoriating remarks were uttered by Fine Gael finance spokesman Michael Noonan who said the “patriot dead fought and died for” and achieved a sovereign Irish State that would run its own affairs. “Now an inept Government, through its arrogance and avarice has given it away.”