Culture

In a word.... Tourist

Patsy McGarry: ‘I just love placenames here. Kill Dare, Killbeggin, Kill Kenny’

“My favourite has to be Kill Kenny. A guy here told me it’s named after that boy in South Park.”

Patsy McGarry's face
Patsy McGarry
Sat Jul 21 2018 - 01:00

O my God it's true. Ireland is SOOOO green. Johnny Cash (or should that be Card?) was so right. Forty shades.

Speaking of shades, who needs them here? So good too, away from the heat of Idaho just now. But Idaho is great. America is great, as our president might say. And it's true. EVERYone here is sooo friendly.

Like that girl on reception, Agnezia (or Agnieszka - she spelled it for me but it's too complicated). Don't you just love those Gaelic names? So authentic. And the accent. Strange at first, but you get used to it. They say it's one of the oldest languages in Europe too. I mean Gaelic, and English spoken by Agnezia sounds like Gaelic.

Her boyfriend Gabor is just as friendly. Great barman too, though he puts sooo much vodka into the cocktails. I like my Red Mary as much as the next one (we don’t use the “Bl--dy” word where I come from) but he laces it with vodka.

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Too much, and this is our 31st day after all. We’ve done 13 countries so far. Yeah, they do blur a bit, but the photographs are great when I’m trying to guess which city was that Effel Tower in. (Eifil? Eiffel? Eyefull?). For example.

Believable

I just love placenames here. Kill Dare, Killcock (sorry, but it's a real place here), Killbeggin (I know a lot of guys back home who would love to do just that!), but my favourite has to be Kill Kenny. A guy here told me it's named after that boy in South Park. Who knows?

Anything is believable here. I mean we were on a tour outside Dublin yesterday and our bus just stopped dead in the middle of nowhere. I asked the guide Glenda “what’s up?” And she said “the leprechauns are crossing the road”.

But I could see nothing. I said to her “I can see nothing” and she said “that’s because you don’t believe hard enough”.

"Whoa there lady," I said. "I believed Donald Trump would become president of the USA and it happened. I can believe plenty."

“But this is Ireland,” she said. “You have to believe that much harder here before anything happens.” Life really is easier in the world’s greatest country.

Bless you President Trump.

Tourist, "one who makes a journey for pleasure". From Old French tourn, to tour/turn. Plus -ist, for "one who does".

inaword@irishtimes.com

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