Track of the Week

Talking Body by Tove Lo. A few facts about Tove Lo: it's pronounced "To-veh"; she co-wrote Something New for Girls Aloud; she features on Alesso's Heroes, but Talking Body is far more interesting.

If you were a fan before, it makes sense to think of this as the predecessor of Habits – the rise before the fall. If not, it's a slIf we're talking chat-up lines, Tove Lo's got the perfect oneinky mid-tempo number, featuring the frankly excellent chat-up line: "If we're talking body, you've got the perfect one."

Hero of the week

is Ashton Irwin of 5SOS, for his endless enthusiasm. He tweeted: "Loving all the new rock kids with guitars at the moment! So many new exciting bands and people jammin to guitar music again!!!! FCK YEAH." Ashton didn't have the best time at school, he told Top of the Pops magazine, "No one cared about us. It makes me emotional just talking about it. We'd get cut down." But hey, it's all okay now, pal.

Zero of the week

is Madonna, for keeping secrets from us. She told Rolling Stone she has insight into a mystical secret society but refused to dish. "People often accuse me of being a member of the Illuminati, but the thing is, I know who the real Illuminati are and I know where that word comes from."

I don’t know how to tell you this but . . . 

Poor old Jessie J needs a spellchecker, she told Graham Norton. Her tattoo on her side is spelt wrong, she explained. “I did it ages ago and had ‘Don’t lose who you are in the blur of the star!’ tattooed on my side. Not long after I had it done my mum said to me in tears, ‘I don’t know how to tell you this but it is spelt wrong.’ Jessie explained that the tattoo actually reads “‘Don’t loose who you are in the blur of the stars!’ It’s really big which is awful.” There’s a happy ending of sorts though. “I’m going to get it covered and I’m not having any more tattoos.”