Sir, – Does Dublin Bus have scientists working for it? How else does it make time appear to contract, expand and even bend?
On Wednesday morning (November 13th) I waited on Lower Drumcondra Road at 8.30am for a bus to take me to the city centre. Over the next 20 minutes, five buses passed but none stopped, all were full. At 8.50am a bus did stop for me and the other seven passengers. Surely whoever designed this timetable is worthy of a Nobel prize? The bus staggered along ostensibly into Dublin city centre, but it felt more like deep space as my 9am meeting drifted further and further into the distance.
I’m no expert, but I suspect Dublin Bus was utilising string theory to make this short journey feel interminable. One time-stretching device is the crafty way Dublin Bus funnels passengers on and off only through the front door. Then there is the “dark matter” of each passenger searching pocket and purse for exact change before dropping it into the chute.
The rest of us on the bus watch the traffic lights ahead go from red to green to red. Is the Luas system of prepaid tickets the propriety of another galaxy? But the tour de force of Dublin Bus time-bending is the black hole of the driver changeover. When this occurs, the entire bus must wait for up to 10 minutes until the next driver shows up, has a chat, and then starts up the bus.
When I finally got off the bus, I felt like Sandra Bullock in Gravity, and I could echo her sentiments: it was one hell of a ride. – Yours, etc,
PAUL STUART,
Drumcondra Park,
Dublin 3.