End of life: A daughter recalls her parents’ decline and an ailing healthcare system

Orla Duane from Cork learned to dread weekends when both her parents were reaching the end of their lives in the middle of the pandemic.

In a short space of time, both had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and while they were being cared for at home. Duane was always aware that emergency medical interventions were a possibility.

And she knew that at weekends and out of regular office hours the support network her parents needed was not what it should be.

It was, she says, sometimes very difficult to get simple messages through to the medical professionals who needed it

In particular, she lived in fear of bank holidays and having to bring her severely immuno-compromised parents to a hospital emergency department; an experience she had on more than one occasion.

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She also had to repeatedly deal with a healthcare system and staff “overworked and very tired”, entirely unfamiliar with the circumstances the family was facing.

[ Lack of support for families among barriers to experiencing a good death, report finds ]

It was, she says, sometimes very difficult to get simple messages through to the medical professionals who needed it.

However, that was not the only problem faced by the family in their parents’ last days.

The couple — who were both in their 70s — found themselves being treated in different hospitals in Cork and on many occasions, often almost simultaneously. And when they were being brought for medical care, Duane had to explain her family circumstances from the start nearly every time.

“My joke is always that it was like being a project manager,” she says. “There is no co-ordination in the healthcare sector, I was just constantly repeating the same story. I work in accounts admin myself so I cannot understand how it is so bad. I still can’t see why all of their information wasn’t stored on a computer that could be easily accessed by the medical staff when they needed it.”

Her father died at home, the day before he was due to go into a hospice, something Duane says she is grateful for now

Duane also recalled prescription errors with the complex set of medications her parents had to take and says that on more than one occasion she had to challenge medical staff about the nature of her parents’ treatment.

Her father died at home, the day before he was due to go into a hospice, something Duane says she is grateful for now.

Days later her mother became seriously ill and spent her last days in a hospice at peace having been cared for throughout most of the illness at home.

“I was my parents’ advocate and they had me but there are a lot of older people who will not have someone to advocate for them. And I would not want them to have to face the challenges we faced,” she says. “That is why it is important to speak up.”