We’re crawling towards the end of the Leaving Cert. With an exam on the very last day (hello politics and society, you seemed like a good idea at the time), it has been an arduous slog to the finish line and I’ve felt every step of it.
And, in fairness, it hasn’t been much craic for the Leaving Cert student either.
But all the while I was distracted by the State exams, something else was drawing closer. No, not the Leaving Cert holiday. I’m taking the mature and appropriate ostrich-head-in-the sand approach to that. Again. Denial is getting me through it. Though I’ll admit, the idea of just turning up in Portugal and attempting to blend seamlessly in with the Leaving Cert students, as a middle-aged woman might, has crossed my mind. You know, if the denial wears off.
And now we’re facing into the primary school summer holidays. Hurray for no more homework, lunch boxes, hurried school mornings and the break in routine. And hurray for no more teasing from older siblings in secondary school who are well settled into their holidays, having had a month’s longer practice.
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But boohoo for the panic and the stress and the very different juggle of trying to navigate the school summer holidays while holding down a job. “You can have it all,” the women of Ireland were told, without any mention of how having it all would fit in with the school summer holidays.
Of course, it’s not a women-only problem. It just wasn’t as big a problem when women were largely at home. And old habits die hard, so women continue to be disproportionately affected by school holidays and annual leave entitlements that just don’t match. Women are far more likely than men to work in part-time roles. Women are far more likely to avail of parental leave.
[ When only wealthy fathers take paternity leave, something is brokenOpens in new window ]
Why? Often because they need to – to juggle having it all, like.
And it’s not just an inconvenience and stress. These things have long-term impacts on women’s careers, lifetime earnings and pensions. But hey, let’s not dwell on this lest someone ask why we bothered having children in the first place. Or my personal favourite, “Do you just hate spending time with your children?”
If you’re a dad, rest assured you won’t have to worry so much about such comments. No one’s judging you for worrying about how you’ll manage it all. In fact, if you were to vocalise it, you’d likely receive praise for being a great, considerate, hands-on dad. Because, after all, it was mothers who created the whole summer holidays conundrum in the first place by upsetting the status quo.
Anyway here we are, on the precipice of the summer break with temperatures even threatening to excite us. How will we do it all? God only knows. But in the absence of a plan (other people don’t have a plan either, right?), this might help:
- Choose your play dates wisely. Play dates aren’t just for Fridays. They’re also for helping to share the summer load. You didn’t know this? Well, you should definitely share this news with a friend. Ideally one who has a child who’s friends with your child.
- Choose your summer camps wisely too. Yes, of course there are still places left for those of us who, erm (gulp!), leave everything until the last minute. So try to double/triple/septuple up where possible to lessen your number of camp runs, and maybe even avail of sibling discounts. And, sometimes, less is more. Not just because your wallet has started wincing, but because camp fatigue is real.
- Grab a local teenager. Possibly a younger one who has been on school holidays for a few weeks and is probably running low on cinema and bowling money. Two hours of them entertaining your children at a local green area playing football or rounders, or boardgames in your house if it’s raining, gives you the chance to get some work done. (And if you have a younger teenager, get them to start sending flyers, offering such services, around the neighbourhood.)
[ School meals to be made available during summer in bid to tackle ‘holiday hunger’Opens in new window ]
- Divide and conquer. A rather depressing but sometimes necessary concept when it comes to a couple’s annual leave. If there are two working parents in the house, taking separate weeks off, or maybe only one overlapping week, might fly in the face of family time, but needs must and all that jazz.
- Give in to the screens. Not all the time, but some of the time. And make peace with it when you do. Not all digital content is bad, so stop beating yourself up about needing to depend on it on occasion. Guilt won’t help with the summer juggle.
- Put the Child of Prague out the back. And leave it there.
