Miriam Lord’s Week: Bacik dances herself dizzy with European socialists

If the thought of Ivana Bacik giving it loads on a dance floor in Berlin is slightly disconcerting, sorry.

The Labour leader was in Germany last weekend for the annual Congress of the Party of European socialists (PES) and after delegates finished discussing how best to tackle the energy crisis the party leaders sat down to dinner and then hotfooted it to a party in the Lido nightclub.

The congress was hosted by the German SPD party, back in power post-Merkel with Olaf Scholz at the helm. The Irish Labour contingent was also joined by the SDLP’s Clare Hanna, making it an all-island delegation. The party is going all-out to woo the SDLP back into the social democratic fold after its loveless flirtation with Fianna Fáil.

PES, which is the second-largest grouping in the European Parliament, pledged support for Labour’s effort to return to Brussels in the 2024 elections. The party hasn’t had an MEP since the 2009-2014 term when Nessa Childers, Proinsias De Rossa and Alan Kelly were elected.

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This was the socialists first full gathering since Covid and the event was a chance for the Irish delegation to catch up with Esther Lynch, deputy general secretary of the European Trade Unions Confederation and formerly of Siptu and the ICTU.

On Friday night, Ivana sat down to dinner with her fellow leaders, including prime ministers Pedro Sanchez of Spain, Antonio Costa of Portugal and Magdalena Andersson of Sweden. However, the undoubted star of the show was the Finnish prime minister, Sanna Marin, who recently made headlines at home and abroad when videos emerged of her partying hard with friends at a private party and in a nightclub.

Marin became the world’s youngest prime minister in 2019 when she was sworn in at the age of 34. She was in high demand for selfies among delegates at the dinner which was followed by a party in the Lido hosted by PES’s LGBT wing, Rainbow Rose. Labour general secretary Billie Sparks found herself sitting beside the Finnish PM’s staff but, despite her best efforts, she was unable to convince them to bring her along to the famous nightclub for a spot of after-dinner boogying.

The Irish delegation headed off to sample Berlin’s famous nightlife without Marin and, as of now, no leaked sneaky videos of Ivana Bacik dancing boisterously on bars or anywhere else have gone viral.

Labour headquarters missed a trick there.

Fianna Falls

The Dáil discussed biodiversity loss during the week when the Taoiseach told the House that this year’s Citizens’ Assembly on the matter is on schedule to complete its work and report by the end of this year.

But contributions from TDs were overshadowed when yet another Dáil leaks story broke in the middle of the session, although this time the issue was structural and not political. Government backbencher Cathal Crowe tweeted about the water dripping down from the skylight (Fianna Falls?) and posted a photograph of the wet carpet.

He got so much attention over the leak that his remarks about Cratloe Wood in Co Clare didn’t register. But they were fascinating.

The Fianna Fáil TD spoke about the lack and continuing loss of native broadleaf woodlands around the country and urged the Government to support and encourage regeneration projects being carried out by communities around the country.

He said he lives near Cratloe Woods – a 600-acre plantation which was once western Europe’s largest oak wood.

“Indeed, the rafters above the chamber where Queen Elizabeth ll lay in state were built with Cratloe beams” he said proudly. “The Royal Palace in Amsterdam, HMS Victory – all built of Cratloe oak. Perhaps even this building…”

Queen Elizabeth reposed in Westminster Hall, under a hammerbeam roof which is the largest medieval timber roof in northern Europe. It was commissioned in 1393 by Richard ll. The UK Houses of Parliament website has a lot of information on this architectural masterpiece, but Co Clare doesn’t get a look in.

But Cratloe Woods are not what they used to be. “It’s Sitka Spruce everywhere, there’s only a small cohort of the native oak trees,” said Cathal, looking up as the water began to trickle from above. Maybe they might fix the roof with wood from Co Clare, he mused.

Crowe says he is involved in a local initiative to reintegrate the native trees into the landscape “but there needs to be government buy-in” to support forest projects like the one in his area.

“The nurseries in Wicklow are propagating them as well, taking the acorns from Cratloe oaks.” (Thank God, he didn’t say that the nurseries above in Dublin are taking Munster’s acorns. The Rural Independents would have blown a gasket.)

The Taoiseach was most impressed.

“The Government would be very interested in getting behind that idea and developing a project around that. There are many projects across the country, as deputies will know, where communities are taking the initiative in respect of biodiversity and in restoring flora and fauna and it is something of which I am very strongly supportive.”

Wonderful news.

We’ll have an acorn taskforce any day now.

Jigs and reels

The furore created by recent allegations of “Feis Fixing” in the competitive world of Irish dancing has been highly entertaining, but there is nothing new in the story according to a reader who has been in touch to inform us that that dodgy carry-on between the jigs and the reels has been going on for at least the last 70 years.

Seán Fitzpatrick came across some useful intelligence on the subject while researching his master’s thesis on former Limerick TD Donnchadh Ó Briain, a founding member of Fianna Fáil who served as government chief whip in the de Valera and Lemass governments.

“Donnchadh served his party in Leinster House for 36 years,” Seán tells us. “He was a remarkable man who saved almost everything, including bus tickets, and his papers are a treasure trove of ‘requests and representations’. While sifting through the FF stalwart’s vast collection, he came across a note from a woman telling the politician about her little girl who was a really good Irish dancer and she had high hopes of her winning the West Limerick championship. She promised Donnchadh her “number one” if he could “put a good word in for her”.

But, according to the records, the Fianna Fáil man was far too upright to countenance this “improper” suggestion.

The correspondence was dated May 1954 – more than 68 years ago.

So the rot set in a long time ago.

We don’t have a precise date for when that happened in Fianna Fáil, but it didn’t take too long before more than a few bigwigs in the party decided that impropriety had its uses after all.

Downing Street mugs

“Opps! Have no idea what just happened.”

Truth at last from the UK’s Conservative Party.

“The page you’re looking for can’t be found.”

Dammit. Too late.

It was only last week we were perusing the Conservative Party’s online shop with the intention of purchasing one of their lovely “In Liz we Truss” mugs (£14.99) to go with our cherished “Gilmore For Taoiseach” mug and Enda Kenny commemorative plate. But we had problems at the checkout, unlike the Tory party, where leaders, ministers and MPs with little peccadillos have been checking out at a terrific rate.

But after prime minister Truss was hounded out of office on Thursday by a vindictive iceberg lettuce, thus clearing a way for Butterhead Boris (who is really a cabbage) to attempt a triumphant return to Downing Street, we made a renewed attempt to purchase this special mug.

It still comes up in a Google search for the online shop, listed among the highlights to attract potential customers such as “sale products” and “conservative silk tie”.

Liz Truss, we are happy to learn, is “dishwasher safe”.

Are they sure?

Unfortunately, we will never know, because the link didn’t work. The dreaded 404 error page flashed up instead of the promised “white ceramic Durham mug”.

Never mind. Maybe we could find something else. But no, there is no trace of Truss but plenty of Winston Churchill tat and masses of Maggie merch. The apron isn’t bad: “This Food is Not for Turning”.

We were sorely tempted by “Corridors of Flour”, the Conservative Party cookbook (£14.99, reduced from £24.95).

“What do prime ministers, peers, MPs, police and crime commissioners, young Conservatives and students have in common? They’ve all pitched in to help you choose your next meal” goes the blurb. “For the first time in 30 years, the Conservative Party has published a cookbook – and it’s guaranteed to get you turning on the hob and heating up the oven. From soups to oatcakes, scones to pasta, these recipes are perfect for quiet nights in – not to mention dinner parties, birthday parties, and any kind of party except the Labour Party.”

There seems to be a bit of a cheese obsession going on, with one MP submitting a recipe for Yorkshire puddings with stilton and another offering a recipe for “Bacon and Wotsit-Topped Mac and Cheese”.

Former PM David Cameron attempts Italian sausage meat pasta. This dish is cooked on a hob but, for some reason, he is photographed putting something into the oven. Maybe it was his ill-fated Brexit wheeze. Theresa May does scones. She was never the worst, in fairness.

Of course there is a recipe from Boris Johnson, because he was prime minister when the book was published.

He is the icing on the cake, the cherry on the top in this Conservative cookbook. What does he do? Cheese on toast.

In the accompanying photo, Johnson’s face is rather crudely Photoshopped on to the body of a man flipping burgers and chicken fillets on a large commercial hotplate.

He’s such a card.

They couldn’t let him back in, could they?

His mug is still for sale on the site.