‘If you break bad news to me say it in any of the Nordic languages’

A request, please: if you need to break bad news to me, say it in Swedish. Or Finnish, Danish or Norwegian. Any of the Nordic languages will do, I love them so much that no matter what tragedy you’re imparting – a burglary, an illness, whatever you’re having – the Nordic-ness will soften the blow.

I am obsessed with that part of the world and yearn to go on holiday to one of their small, forested, lake-side towns and get embroiled in a murder case. I adore their inclement weather, their unpopulated landscapes, their peculiar fish-y food, their clothes, their homes and their design.

Which brings me to the delightful Finnish brand, Marimekko. It's famed for its cheery, colourful, distinctive prints and all kinds of fabaliss women from Jackie O to Sarah Jessica Parker have worn their clothes. (Also un-fabaliss women – I've been sporting their nightwear as my work uniform for 20 years.)

Now, in a thrilling collaboration, Clinique is using Marimekko's bold, beautiful images on a new range of lip glosses called Clinique Pop Splash Lip Gloss and Hydration. And they are lovely!

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You may think the packaging of a lip gloss is irrelevant to its efficacy. And you’d be right . . . or would you? See, I can’t enjoy my breakfast properly without my designated ‘porridge’ spoon. And I know someone who refuses to ever set foot in a brown car, simply because brown is “distressingly ugly”. He insists he’d rather walk. (In fairness, it depends on how jarred he is.)

The look of an object is almost as important as its function, in my humble. My worry was more about the product itself, because gloss usually makes me feel as if I’ve fallen, face-first, into a field of strawberry jam. Lip gloss slows down my conversation, because with every word I have to unpeel my lips from each other before any noise can emerge. As for going out on a windy day! Within moments, so much of my hair has stuck to my face that I’m sporting a full beard.

However, this Clinique version is very different – it's lightweight, hydrating and shiny without being sticky. There are 20 long-lasting exquisite shades, none of which interferes with my chat or gives me a beard.

They are beautiful both inside and out, they gladden my heart when I see them and they’re on-counter from today.