Woman receives letter complaining her children play too loudly in backyard

‘Friendly’ complaint sparks debate in Canada over children’s noise levels

A Canadian mother of four boys under the age of six has described her shock after receiving a letter which complained that her children played too loudly in the family’s backyard.

Posted with no return address to Morgan DeCairos DeBoer's home in Newmarket, a town about 35 miles north of Toronto, the letter said it was a "friendly request" from several neighbours frustrated with the "frequent screaming and shrieking" of her children.

It continued: “This is very disruptive whether we are outside or inside and interrupts whatever we are doing, be it TV, reading or napping.”

Closing the windows did not help mask the sound, it added.

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It went on to offer parenting advice. “We encourage you to correct your child when he screams by saying ‘Please stop that yelling’ or something like that. Perhaps if you supervised them while they were in the backyard, it would help.”

Another possibility, the letter noted, would be to take the boys to the park.

The letter left the family of six on edge. “Every little sound the kids were making, I was like, ‘Is that what they feel is too loud?’” DeCairos DeBoer, (32), told CTV.

DeCairos DeBoer said no neighbour has ever complained to the family directly. Many on the street know the children, who range in age from nine months to six years old.

She added that few in her suburban neighbourhood – where most homes appear to be family homes – should be surprised to hear the sound of children playing, as three elementary schools are within walking distance. Her children were often only outside for an hour or two between school and dinner, and only if the weather was nice.

Days after receiving the letter, DeCairos DeBoer turned to Facebook, where she posted the message in full. "I had to get it out," she said. "This coward didn't even come to my door and I can't defend myself."

Her post has since attracted nearly 200 comments, many of whom sided with the family. “Kids need to be outdoors more, not less,” noted one.

Others encouraged her to respond with more noise. “Time for your kids to learn the violin and bag pipes. Or host an around the block play date,” wrote another.

Some, however, sided with the complainant. “Have some empathy! Yes, it’s very important for children to play outside and to laugh and make noise, but there is a limit. There are other people around you and not everyone wants to hear your children shrieking,” wrote another.

DeCairos DeBoer said that, ultimately, the letter would do little to dissuade her from allowing the children to play in the family’s backyard. “Gotta get the kids into the fresh air,” she wrote on Facebook. “I have to think of them above all else, and they need to get outside.”

– Guardian