That’s Men: ‘I was 65 last July and I feel the world just keeps getting better’

‘It’s funny to see somebody else put on paper what one is thinking in one’s head but would not dare to articulate,” writes a reader.

He was responding to a column in which I expressed a certain degree of gloom at being 60-something.

“I was recently asked to a 50th school reunion, but I declined. I couldn’t bear the idea of seeing people I knew as children looking like old men. And worse, talking about the past.”

Ah, reunions. “I was 60 years old last July and was feeling very happy in my own skin,” writes another reader. “Had a great reunion with schoolfriends in Kilkenny. Thought I was Peter Pan! However, at the recent wedding of one of my younger cousins (44ish) I was introduced as his aunt! Mirror mirror on the wall ? I have to get real . . . but not yet.”

And yet another reunion story recounted by another reader: “I had the recent experience of a class reunion for my Leaving Cert class of 50 years ago. Ten of us assembled (one has passed on), only two of whom I had seen in 50 years.

“It was an interesting experience walking into the room and wondering how many of these ‘old men’ I would recognise. As it happened, there were only two of them who had me puzzled. Two or three were very recognisable, which surprised me.

“We had a good night, talking about our former teachers and the difficult time we gave them . . . I have had the same feelings as you about ‘seniors’ tickets, travel pass, etc. but having used them a few times it becomes easy to accept the bonus of age.”

Travel-pass doubts

In my column I had expressed doubts about the travel pass, not in general but as a marker that I’m getting, well, old. I haven’t applied for one yet but have caught myself eyeing buses.

“I look now at former colleagues who are in their 80s and see where I’m going,” my reader writes. “I hope to play golf as long as I can walk, and still do some work. I am mentoring young people in business.

“I think one piece of advice I heard on retirement was very useful; that was to have something planned for each day, even if it’s fairly minor. I find that I never have enough time to do all I would like. The fallback is to read a book when I find spare time, and this is one of the greatest pleasures now, along with having time to read the newspaper during the day and not when I get to bed, last thing at night.”

There are, of course, two sides to the story. An upbeat reader writes: “I was 65 last July and I feel that the world just gets better. There is so much still to do.

“Since July I have got my pretty small private pension sorted, some of it going towards the mortgage and the rest in a managed fund. I will get only an annual payment out of it but in July 2015 I’ll get the old-age pension and travel pass.

“I’m an accountant and work from home, so can keep working. My wife retires next summer, so we now discuss that trip to the US, the Camino and maybe South America. She also talks about Japan but I would prefer the Americas.

“So life is always getting better, so use the travel pass. You deserve it; like me you have been through the mill of Ireland, the recessions, the Troubles, the good weather, the bad weather, the wins, the losses, the education costs, the ATM dad and the taxi driver.

“Here’s to the next few decades: enjoy them with good health and whatever joys and sorrows we meet and at the end we can say ‘I had a good time’.”

Sounds like a plan.

(I have deleted a few facts from the responses above, as I do not want my readers pursued by angry groups of Monty Pythonesque pensioners.)

Padraig O’Morain is a counsellor accredited by the Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. His latest book is Mindfulness on the Go. His mindfulness newsletter is free by email. pomorain @yahoo.com.