Number two is due in less than five weeks, and I've yet to wash a baby grow. Three months before number one's arrival I was hand-painting gold leaf stars on the nursery walls, bleaching down his Stokke crib, steam cleaning carpets and topping up the overdraft to buy a Bugaboo.
It’s not that I’m not excited about the new arrival, it’s just that with five years parenting now under my belt, I realize how cracked I was back then and just how brainwashing the “new baby” marketing machine is. It’s hard not to buy into the ideology, as they make it look so darn fluffy and cute, but most new parents will confess they spent a fortune on baby products and paraphernalia they used but twice and then ended up scrimping on the hardworking essentials.
My advice? Get organised with the basics at the beginning and then buy, borrow or barter the rest, as and when the baby requires it. And don’t set foot in a baby store if you’re tired, hungry, in pain or without having done some online research first, as you are too vulnerable a target, especially when they play the “this one is twice the price, but it’s safer” card.
Buggy and bedroom
To begin with, all you need is a crib, a Moses basket or a co-sleeper – don’t splurge on any of these as they’ll only be in use for a few months. A good buggy system, which at first may seem ludicrously expensive, is, as you’ll discover, worth the investment. Try to take a few out for a test-drive around the shopping centre with a member of staff, or play around with friends’ buggies first if possible before committing to your babymobile. I ended up selling my Bugaboo as the handlebars were too low for my giant husband to push it very far. We then purchased an Uppa Baby, a brilliant piece of baby engineering with a giant shopping basket on the base, that carted all but the kitchen sink around in it every day for two years.
While it’s nice to have a fully coordinated elephant-themed nursery, you’d be better off investing the money in your bedroom – new paint, nice sheets, soft throws, etc, as in reality that’s where you and your baby will spend most of your time – there and on the couch. For this purpose, a prawn-shaped feeding cushion is worthwhile, as it helps position the baby comfortably whether you are breast or bottle feeding and cossets them safely on the bed or couch when they’re napping.
Changing tables divide opinion: some parents deem them useless and find a thick plastic changing mat more mobile and handy. Others, myself included, wouldn’t be without – in fact, I plan to go to IKEA and buy a second one to put in the utility room downstairs to avoid endless, and often treacherous, nappy changing trips up and down the stairs. When the time comes to invest in a cot (circa six months) choose a solid, well-built one that grows and adapts with the baby and can turn into a toddler bed. Opt for one with an adjustable base that can be highered or lowered when the baby gets big enough to hop out of the cot or when a parent’s back can’t take the bending any longer. We have a third-hand Mammas & Pappas cot bed, which with a few new mattresses has seen five cousins through 13 years of sleeps and will hopefully see number two peacefully through the next few years too.
Grab a bargain
I went through three slippery, stupidly designed baby baths and tubs before happening upon the Tippietoes mini bath which was the best €21 spent in the early months. It has a moulded body support, allowing the baby to lie back, fully supported, without you needing to hold him. I would fill mine up with water and place the tub and baby on the shower tray,while I washed and it bought me at least 20 hands-free, cry-free minutes every day in the bathroom.
Arguably the most critical baby item, when sleep becomes your most treasured commodity, is blackout blinds. IKEA do a great range starting from €13, in a rainbow of colours, which you can just cut to any window size with a sharp knife or handsaw. Or you can get blackout lining sewn into curtains already in situ in your local alteration shop.
Other than the above, everything else is an optional add-on and should you need a bottle steriliser in a hurry; you can have one delivered to your door the next day from the likes of Tesco and Mothercare. And while it's natural to want everything box-fresh for a newborn, you'll be amazed by all the bargains you can get on Done Deal, Adverts and local neighbourhood Facebook groups selling never-used baby gyms, slings, and monitors for a snip of the retail price ( all new parents get carried away at some point buying toys, clothes, and equipment destined for speedy redundancy). Did I mention I bought my six-month-old an electrical Audi S5 Cabriolet Car the size of a horse for his first Christmas? Now for sale on Done Deal for €15!