NEIL DELAMERE
is a comedian who has just finished a tour of his show, 'Smartbomb'. He has presented RTÉ's 'The Panel' and BBC's 'The Blame Game'. He won an award for a documentary on St Patrick and is working on more about Irish heroes. From Edenderry, Co Offaly, he lives in Drumcondra with his partner Jane Russell
I ’m pretty sure I met Bernard in Dundalk. I was still working in a nine-to-five job as a software engineer and drove up with a friend of mine to what I think was my first-ever paid gig. I seem to remember Bernard was hungover, but he went on stage, was hilarious. On the way home, me and my other friend narrowly missed being hit on the motorway. Then I scratched your man’s car door off his underground car park. So I remember that night for two reasons: I met the inimitable Bernard O’Shea and destroyed a man’s Honda Civic.
After that, Bernard and I met here and there – the comedy circuit is a very small scene in Ireland. I used to give him a lift home from gigs in my mother’s red Starlet and we’d do postmortems. I was a fan of what he did on stage, he has this kind of controlled madness. We’re both from the midlands – that’s part of the friendship. Sometimes you read a memoir of someone who grew up in Ireland and everything’s miserable and grey. Everything may have been, but I didn’t notice it and I don’t think Bernard did either. I’m proud of where I grew up.
Memorably, we did the BBC new comedy awards in Derry. We drove up from Kilkenny, did the gig and had a great night; he fell off the stage ’cos it was very, very high and the lights were very, very bright. It is an indelible image in my mind.
Bernard is well educated, interesting to talk to; that’s what I’ve always liked about him. You can have chats about various issues – politics, culture, the various jobs he’s done before he did stand-up.
I got some breaks – I got The Panel in 2004 – and because I got them a bit earlier than Bernard, it meant I was able to tour earlier. It's come full circle, now I'm learning from Bernard – who did radio for years in the midlands and now 2FM – about radio. If I have questions when I'm standing in for John Murray or Ray D'Arcy, I talk to Bernard about it. It's a symbiotic relationship.
As for sports, he’s Notts Forest and Laois, which is a combination full of pathos. I’d be Liverpool and Offaly, so not a whole lot better. We have that misery in common; if he was from Kerry or Kilkenny, we might have difficulty.
We are kindred spirits in defeat. We went on holiday once, for a weekend to Amsterdam. It was spectacularly successful in that we can't remember most of it. I think we were both broken men after that. Now if you mention Amsterdam to either of us, our eyes lock and we slowly walk away, agreeing that we'll never mention this to each other again.
Neil Delamere performs in Vicar Street in Dublin on August 1st and 2nd
BERNARD O'SHEA
is a comedian who co-presents 2FM's radio show, 'Breakfast Republic', and RTÉ's 'Republic of Telly' and 'Next Week's News'. He used to play traditional music. From Durrow, Co Laois, he lives in Kilmainham with his wife, Lorna, and their two-month-old baby, Olivia
I was in college in Dundalk and there was a gig on in the Spirit Store there, in about 2000. They brought Neil up from Dublin. The next time I met him was probably about six months later in the Ha'penny Bridge Inn in Dublin. We just started talking. I was from Laois, he was from Offaly – I don't think there were ever comedians from there before. We had a very similar upbringing. We both liked where we came from, which traditionally wouldn't be a good starting point for a comedian. We loved growing up in the midlands.
We got to know each other – he was doing The Panel, festivals. I was playing traditional music in Dublin for a long time as well as doing comedy and he used to slag me, saying that everyone I knew in Dublin was an accordion player. The big thing with Neil was that he had a car: my abiding memory is of talking for hours in his red Starlet. I was working as a hotel night porter; after a gig he’d ring and come on down to keep me company.
Neil did eight or nine years of The Panel and the first time I was on Republic of Telly, it was with Neil – he presented it for about 20 episodes. It was a very new show then, I think his first after The Panel, and my very first show. It’s always fun to work with him: me and Neil always have strong opinions on how something should be done. We do fight, but can always sort it out because we know each other.
Then he left Republic of Telly and did gigs all over the world. I was always surprised at how Neil was able to knock out a new hour of stand-up a year and tour it. I’ve learnt how to do stand-up from Neil. I’ve never met a harder-working comedian – his application to the craft is unbelievable. Neil loves stand-up, loves it; I’m not sure that I do. Before a gig you’ll be thinking, ‘why in God’s name am I doing this?’ There are easier ways to try and live a happy life, but I think for the vast majority of comedians, if they weren’t doing comedy they’d definitely have to do a sky dive every week.
Neil is quite a quiet, shy person. I've never talked about this to him after all these years, but he's never craved the limelight. We both know that fame is fleeting, shows get cancelled – what we always will have is the ability to go out and do stand- up, this is our trade. That's how we met and how we'll continue to know each other.
Neil Delamere and Bernard O'Shea perform in this year's Cat Laughs comedy festival in Kilkenny, which takes place on May 29th to June 2nd