Apparently ‘politics’ is going to be taught in Irish secondary schools at some point in the future. I’m sure there are lots of people lining up to say why it’s a wonderful idea but the thought of it leaves me a bit cold. The possible addition of ‘politics’ to the curriculum did however get me thinking about other subjects that might justifiably be added but in all likelihood never will unless something odd happens and I am appointed Minister for Education.
If such an event were to occur I would rename myself Minister with responsibility for Bringing Out The Best In Everyone. Or Minister for BOTBIE for short. And these are some of the subjects I’d be adding to the school day.
Ukelele: Have you heard Ukelele Anthem by the ferociously original American singer Amanda Palmer? If the answer to this question is yes then read on. If the answer is no, then I'll just wait here while you go to YouTube, search for it and play it at full blast. Okay, are you back? Do you see what I mean?
“It takes about an hour to teach someone to play the ukulele, about the same to teach someone to build a standard pipe bomb. YOU DO THE MATH.”
(For full disclosure, I have to confess my children are currently getting ukelele lessons at school and at least one of them has been discovered, aged six, repeatedly bunking off from them. So maybe it won’t suit everyone but as Minister for BOTBIE I can assure you that more ukelele-playing will lead to increased levels of joy in Ireland and the wider world.)
Tidying Up: At the risk of offending my mother, I didn't learn how to tidy up properly at home and I know from talking to a lot of friends they didn't either. And here I am in my 40s, still trying (okay, maybe not hard enough) to figure this important subject out. I've written about The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo in this space before. Japanese decluttering whizz Kondo has sold four million copies of her book, which helps people have the domestic set-up they had always fantasised about. My as-yet-unrealised fantasy involves knowing where everything is and having nothing in the house that isn't functional or beautiful.
Of course, I couldn't just leave it at reading the book, I wanted more. So when Kondo was in Dublin recently I managed to get her around to my house. At one point, I had her on a kitchen chair clearing out one of my cupboards. All I'm saying is, now more than ever parents don't have time to teach the stuff that, in fairness, a lot of them were never taught properly in the first place so I reckon the schools should take over and Kondo's bestseller is the obvious text book. I predict with Tidying Up on the curriculum there would be 10 per cent less angst across the land.
Adele 101: I'm sick of hearing, and anyway I don't believe it, how apparently every kid these days just wants to be a celebrity when they grow up. But if that is really true then they should be taught a course in mega-famous singer Adele, who seems to have the most excellent handle on being a well-known face and voice.
First of all, she’s famous for her talent as opposed to any arbitrary physical attribute or look. Then there’s the fact she is resolutely herself and extremely hardworking. Quite wisely, she disappears from public view every few years to live her private life. She is known for having a good long laugh at her own shortcomings and doesn’t get embroiled in celeb feuds. I’m willing to bet my Ministerial car we will never see her washed up in the jungle with Ant and Dec.
Creativity: One of the stand-out lines from Elizabeth Gilbert's excellent new book Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear is when she talks about what happens to the creative aspirations of many young people: "Ah, lovely adolescence when the 'talented' are officially shunted off from the herd, thus putting the total burden of society's creative dreams on the thin shoulders of a few select souls, while condemning everyone else to live a more commonplace, inspiration-free existence . . . What a system."
Well as Minister for BOTBIE I would change this system, designing a course that would allow every student to access what Gilbert calls “the hidden treasures” within. It would be a course that sets out to foster creative living in all citizens at every age and stage of our lives.
Or we could have ‘politics’ instead (you do the math).
Public Displays of Emotion by Róisín Ingle is now available to buy from irishtimes.com/irishtimesbooks