Say hello to your new best friend for winter

Our office has been a pastel-painted picnic table outside Container Coffee on Dublin’s Thomas Street for the most part of six months. Forget standing desks, outdoor meetings keep things short and to the point. If your fingers are too cold to take notes, it’s time to wrap things up and follow up with an email.

But I’m reminded of a secret weapon by email which arrives from another Catherine, who’s “possibly the world’s coldest person”. Her pet peeve? Outdoor heaters.

“The irony of getting grants to insulate our homes for more efficient energy consumption only to sit outside pubs and restaurants basking in the artificial glow,” she complains. “Trying to heat the outdoors…” she writes, tailing off into dots with the exhaustion of it all.

I still feel safer in the fresh chilly air. Winter is flu season, not because we get colds from being cold but because viruses are like us. They love to make merry in an indoor crowd.

My best friend sexually propositioned me and I haven’t seen him since

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Sausage, sweet potato and red onion crumble

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Peperonata pie

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Greek chicken pie

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So what does the world’s coldest person recommend instead of a wall-mounted heater? “To socialise outside I wear layers: scarf, hat, gloves and have a large handbag to accommodate my hot water bottle.”

A room can be several degrees cooler but still cosy when you have a soft lump of warmth on your lap

Her hot water bottle. These are the words of a woman who has worked it all out. Add in a flask of tea and, as writer Caitlin Moran says, you have actual super powers.

I love a hot water bottle. A friend regularly fills two before she sits down to do any work at a desk. And hers is an indoor rather than an outdoor desk. A hot water bottle lets you lay off on the central heating. A room can be several degrees cooler but still cosy when you have a soft lump of warmth on your lap. And, unlike the central heating, a hot water bottle can be instantly flung aside each time mama menopause reminds you that she’s not done with you yet.

I'm writing this with a hot water bottle on my knee. Soft strokable covers are essential. Fisherman out of Ireland do a beautiful knitted one in the Irish Design Shop (irishdesignshop.com) and you can get a sheepswool one from baavet.ie.

But then another hot water bottle fan girl introduced me to the hot water bottle 2.0: Ingenuous humans have invented a plug-in hot water bottle. What a time to be alive. No water so there’s no scalding or leaks or smells of a 1950s shower attachment or damp microwaved barley. Just a warm comforting rectangle with a fleecy cover and a flap to tuck your fingers into. We can write away like Jo from Little Women in her icy attic without the need for fingerless gloves.

Catherine Cleary is co-founder of Pocket Forests