Copenhagen's refusal to pander to tourists is a definite plus for MANCHÁN MAGAN– once he manages to find his bearings in the Danish capital
FIRST THE DANES came raping and pillaging our broad-thighed women and slender- towered churches, and as if that wasn’t enough they’ve spent the past decade hoodwinking us into thinking they loathe to see their principal cultural asset, the brewed bilge water of the Carlsberg company, being exported.
It seems as if they’ve always messing with us, and it only increases when you visit the country. First, you’re lured into a false sense of assurance by the startlingly beautiful airport, all soaring swathes of oiled oak and cedar, and a super-sleek metro that whisks you into town in minutes. Only when you’re on the metro do you realise you’re being played with again.
There's no route plan, no signs, not even hint of where you should get off. There's a digital read-out, but with no listing for Copenhagen Central Station – or Central C, as it was known on the signs in the airport. You begin to panic, wondering where in Zealand's windswept lowlands you are going to be deposited, when suddenly you spot the words København H on the read-out and wonder if that could possibly be Central Station. Nowhere in the 364 pages of Lonely Planet's Denmarkis København H mentioned, but just as the train is pulling into the station a disembodied voice announces in English that this is indeed where you should get off.
As I grabbed my bags and ran for the exit I decided that I was going to like this country. The fact they don’t pander to tourists was a definite plus. They don’t infantilise one as so many places do now. The airport train is part of the main route from Malmo, in Sweden, to North Zealand, and it’s up to you to work out where and when to get off. Likewise, they’ve a nice habit of speaking Danish to you until you make it very clear that you don’t understand.
Most of the hotels are clustered next to the central station, so the train is the ideal way to reach the city. To the right of the station are the famous Tivoli Gardens; to the left you’re surrounded by blocks of mid-range hotels. I stayed at the Clarion Collection Hotel Mayfair, which was stylish and clean but, most remarkably of all, charged €120 for a room, a large organic breakfast, afternoon coffee and cake and a light evening buffet. A city hotel that offers all one’s meals was a new concept to me, and a welcome one in a city as expensive as Copenhagen.
Copenhagen is definitely a city for walking in – only the most lethargic need ever see the interior of a taxi. There are at least five starkly delineated districts, and you’d be doing yourself a disservice by not checking each one out. Most tourists keep to the central shopping area around Strøget, but it has succumbed somewhat to high-streetisation: the soul-destroying replacement of local shops by Mango, Zara and Monsoon.
Better to veer a block north into the Latin Quarter, or Pisserenden as it’s less poetically called, which abounds with quirky delights, such as a shop selling voodoo charms, fetish talismans, Viking helmets and cowrie shells (Bis Art Atelier, on Klosterstræde). On Studiestræde I came upon a street party in full sway, with a hip-hop DJ outside Alis, a boutique selling distressed designer clothes and boards of graffiti for €60. Ultrachic students and teenagers were drinking beers and coffee from the super-suave Ricco’s Butik and Kaffebar, while children, and I mean children, in baggy hoodies were rolling joints and oozing alienated existentialism.
Looking around at the extraordinarily cool girls in leggings, knee-length boots and expensive shades, and art-school boys in drainpipe trousers and flouncy tops basking in the sunshine at a latitude that is similar to those of Moscow and southern Alaska, I wondered how it is that everyone seems to be able to live better, or at least cooler, than the Irish.
Just to partake awhile in their easy exuberance I bought myself a beer and sandwich and sat down on the pavement to people-watch. The Carlsberg, I have to admit, did seem a little less insipid than at home, while the sandwich was a revelation: a mix of dill, capers and tuna on bread the colour of coal tar and the texture of fried porridge.
From there I headed north to the elegantly painted town houses along the canal at Nyhavn, where crowds of less trendy but more voluble locals and tourists were drinking beer on the canal banks in a winningly picturesque setting – all broad facades of Scandinavian belle-epoque splendour. Amalienborg Palace was just minutes away, and after eavesdropping on some locals gossiping about the latest news I dashed up there in time to see the outgoing prime minister sweeping through the gates to tender his resignation to Queen Margrethe II, so that he could accept his new role as head of Nato. A Danish radio reporter asked me how I felt, and I told him I was just grand, but my legs were a bit sore from all the walking.
For the sake of the national bank balance I’m reluctant to mention any of the wonderful design shops and clothes boutiques in the city. The beguiling ceramics of Royal Copenhagen or the steel baubles of Georg Jensen Design at the Illums Bolighus (a four-storey design superstore, patronised by the royal family) are as enticing as they are exorbitantly priced; better to hold off on shopping and do some more walking instead, visit another gallery perhaps (the Ny Carlsberg Glypotek, beside the Tivoli Gardens, should be first on the list) or hurry back to the hotel for one’s free dinner.
I had been given a CPH Card which, for about €60, provides three days’ free entrance to most castles, gardens, galleries and museums, and free travel by train, metro, bus and harbour boats. (There is also a cheaper one-day card.) And so next morning I took a train north to the Louisiana Museum of Modern Art, in Humlebæk, which I am loath to reveal too much about, lest I ruin the surprise. Suffice to say that it is an idyllically beautiful place that mixes nature, art and modern Scandinavian architecture in an unforgettable way. It has possibly the most elegant museum cafe in the world, an ocean observation room that will live on in your dreams forever and an ingenious children’s interaction area. The museum offers the opportunity of going straight from gazing at works by Juan Miró to paddling in the smooth-stoned, mirror-calm Baltic Sea in the space of three minutes. Beat that for experiential overload.
Back in Copenhagen I headed for Slotsholmen, the seat of Denmark’s national government and location of the Christiansborg Slot, a redoubtable palace that is the centrepiece of this cluster of royal decadence. On my way I was almost run over by a bicycle, which brought home to me the prime truth that had been so apparent it had evaded me until now: the sheer ubiquity of bicycles in Copenhagen. I had been dodging them continually since arriving in the city. It is hard to convey the locust-plague swarms of them. While the city was as car-clogged as any other a few decades ago, now more than a third of the population commute to work and school on bikes. There are bike parks everywhere, jammed solid with stout-framed, flimsily-locked bikes.
It’s things like this that I most adore about travelling, finding something that turns one’s preconceptions head over heels. I had no idea there was any modern city that depended more on bikes than on cars or public transport. I came home having experienced a revelation. What more can one ask from a citybreak?
5 places to stay
Clarion Collection Hotel Mayfair. Helgolandsgade 3, 00-45-7012-1700, choicehotels.no. Central, clean, stylish. Breakfast and a simple evening buffet included in the price.
Hotel D’Angleterre. Kongens Nytorv 34, 00-45-3312-0095 dangleterre.com. Illustrious five-star set amid a baroque extravaganza on Kongens Nytorv. Expensive.
Dan Hostel. HC Andersens Boulevard 50, 00-45-3318-8585, danhostel.dk. Stunningly located hostel in brutal high-rise building in the heart of the city; magnificent views and designer furniture.
Copenhagen Admiral Hotel. Toldbodgade 24-28, 00-45- 3374-1414, admiralhotel.dk. Four-star accomodation in an 18th-century warehouse downtown on the waterfront. Good value.
Hotel Sct Thomas. Frederiksberg Allé 7, 00-45-3321-6464, hotelsctthomas.dk. A cosy three-star BB situated on Frederiksberg Allé on a quiet square in an exclusive area, beside Frederiksberg Have park.
5 places to eat
Restaurant Sankt Annæ. Sankt Annæ Plads 12, 00-45-3312-5497, restaurantsanktannae.dk Traditional Danish food. A cultural and culinary experience.
Noma. Strandgade 93, 00-45-3296-3297, noma.dk. Innovative new Nordic cuisine using high-quality, seasonal Danish ingredients and high-quality produce. Deserving of its two Michelin stars.
RizRaz. Kompagnistraede 20, 00-45-3315-0575, rizraz.dk. Popular local restaurant. Mediterranean food. Cheap, mouth-watering vegetarian buffet.
Ristorante Italiano. Fiolstaede 2, 00-45-3311-1295, italiano.dk. Vibrant street cafe with great views of Vor Frue Kirke.
Brew Pub. Vestergade 29, brewpub.dk, 00-45-3332-0060. Atmospheric microbrewery with pork cheeks, guineafowl, rabbit and more cooked in dark beer.
5 places to go
Louisiana Museum of Modern Art. Gl, Strandvej 13, Humlebaek, 00-45-4919-0719, louisiana.dk. Idyllically beautiful place that mixes nature, art and modern Scandinavian architecture Christiania. christiania.org. An alternative commune in the heart of Copenhagen – ecohouses, colourful stalls and the memorable Spiseloppen restaurant. Quirky and bohemian or squalid and sad, depending on one’s viewpoint. Ny Carlsberg Glyptotek. Dantes Plads 7, 00-45-3341-8141, glyptoteket.dk. Ancient and modern art collection.
Copenhagen Opera House. Ekvipagemestervej 10, 00-45-3369-6981, kglteater.dk. One of the most modern and expensive opera houses in the world. A staggeringly beautiful building right across the water from Amalienborg Castle.
CPH Card. cphcard.com. Provides free access to transport and galleries. Twenty-four-hour card €30, 72-hour card €60. Children are half price. Order online before travelling or buy at the airport, train stations or the tourist information office across from the Tivoli.
Hot spot
Tivoli. Vesterbrogade 3, 00-45-3315-1001 tivoli.dk. Elegant amusement park since 1843, featuring theatres, traditional and modern fun-park rides, restaurants, gardens, fireworks and concerts every night from April until autumn.
Shop spot
Illums Bolighus. 10 Amagertorv, 00-45-3314-1941 illumsbolighus.com. Famous four-storey Danish design shop.
Scandinavian Airlines (flysas.ie) flies to Copenhagen from Dublin
Manchán Magan was a guest of Scandinavian Airlines (flysas.ie) and Wonderful Copenhagen (visitcopenhagen.com)