Cruise control

They've had some bad press over the past year but cruise liners are making a big effort to win back customers - of all ages, writes ALANNA GALLAGHER

Fed up coming back from your holidays exhausted? Try hassle-free cruising – one of the best ways to explore the Mediterranean coastline. There are no tolls; no getting lost on the motorways; no language barriers; no fuss; just ease of exploration. Your steed is a ship that transports you from destination to destination, arriving during morning’s so-called ‘golden hour’ and departing at tea time.

A mini-cruise is the perfect way to test the waters. Sailing from Barcelona, Royal Caribbean’s Liberty of the Seas offers five- and seven-night excursions that take in some of Europe’s finest ports. We docked at Cannes, Livorno and Rome, an odyssey that is a sea version of the Via Aurelia, the ancient Roman road that connects Barcelona to the eternal city.

Smart seafarers climb aboard early on departure day. Lounge lizards hit the deck – the pool deck. By lunchtime on departure day holidaymakers already line the three pools; the numerous hot tubs stew with life and the 02 Zone water park is alive with kids playing amongst its colourful sculptures, dodging water sprays and jets that stretch across a vast area never more than two inches deep in water. It was described as “awesome” by our five-year old, not yet a swimmer.

This is a cruise where kids are treated like celebrities and even allocated their own hot tubs. No request is too much trouble for the staff. A freestanding ice-cream machine dispensing free cones of ice-cream was a touch adored by adults and kids alike.

Departure from Barcelona is 5pm and there is something really thrilling about being horizontal by the pool as the harbour landmarks glide past. At sea the vista is simply amazing; ringed by the marine blue of the Mediterranean, the ship hugs the Spanish and French coastline as white horses gallop in our wake. You settle in to life at sea as the gentle rocking motion of the boat becomes your body beat.

Day two we sail into Cannes as the morning sun rouges the rocks of the Estérel mountain range captured in paint by Claude Monet. After passing the superyachts of the rich and famous we tender beside another behemoth of a cruise ship; and are ferried ashore in a series of smaller craft.

You can explore Cannes on your own on foot – the beach is just a stone’s throw from the dock. Alternatively, you can sign up to one of the numerous excursions offered by Royal Caribbean at each port. Park your reservations about organised trips and go with the flow. The twin destinations of Grasse, the perfume capital of the world, and St Paul de Vence, a former artists’ colony, doesn’t disappoint. After visiting the Fragonard factory we journey on to St Paul de Vence. Set high in the hills, the medieval village was once the home of painter Marc Chagall. The days glide by and you lose complete track of time. The whole ship is blissfully tech-free. The limited connectivity helps create a complete dislocate from the everyday. When you forget what day it is, a carpeted panel in each of the lifts aboard spells out what day of the week it is.

Day three sees the vessel dock in the industrial port of Livorno. Free shuttle buses are on hand to transport you into town. Again, there is all manner of excursion to try. Florence is an hour away but Pisa and the allure of its leaning tower was what our-five-year old wanted to do.

You can, of course, choose to stay put. There is a smorgasbord of experiences aboard to tickle your fancy. There’s surfing and boogie boarding, rock climbing, mini golf, football and basketball on the top deck. There are two kids clubs, accessed through the all too enticing amusement arcade where the games are not part of the all-inclusive package.

There is so much to see and do that you don’t actually ever need to go ashore. Most of the entertainment is free. There are movies to enjoy; full-scale productions like Saturday Night Fever the Musical in a high-tech theatre with hydraulic disco floors and other special effects, Dreamworks characters parade the main drag, there are ice shows, ice skating plus magic tricks from waiters at every turn.

The service everywhere is second to none with every member aboard willing to do your bidding and working hard to make the holiday memorable.

Gourmands looking for authentic French and Italian cuisine will be disappointed by the international resort-style fare of the Windjammer buffet restaurant.

But you can also enjoy table service meals in a grand dining room, where you are allocated a specific table and dining time. For a finer dining experience there are two restaurants; Chops grill, an upscale steakhouse and Portofino, a fine Italian eatery. Their fare is not included in the price of your package and bookings should be made in advance as they are regularly booked out.

At night we sailed Owl and the Pussycat -style by the light of the silvery moon. Keeping the curtains open to let it beam its argent aura right into our bedroom felt pretty special. On day four the ship docks in Civitavecchia a large industrial port about 80 minutes north of Rome. There are excursions to the Eternal City but for small children the allure of the onboard water park is too much.

Is cruising coming out of its doldrums? The numerous incidences of food poisoning, and the Costa Concordia disaster last year, had damaged the public’s perception of the industry.

The industry fought back. The Italian cruise operator Costa Crociere, owner of the Costa Concordia and controlled by US group Carnival, reacted by cutting prices and saw a 25 per cent annual rise in bookings in April of last year.

Hip music festival Coachella’s decision to partner with Celebrity Cruises on a musical tour of the Caribbean this winter also serves to open it up to a new audience.

The cruising demographic is changing. The decks are no longer awash with pensioners. While silver socialisers still represent a significant portion of the business there are now many different cruising tribes: the young adventurers, hip 20-something couples keen to try something new; the practical parents addled and in search of an easy time; the glamouristas who take fashion’s definition of cruise wear seriously and glides by as if on a catwalk; the “Because I’m Worth It” fiftysomething females who travel in packs hooting their way from port to port, and the traditionalists who despite the itinerary still spend most of their time in the casino and the piano bar.

Every colour, creed and nationality is represented and the people-watching is fantastic. One man wore a uni-suit to lunch.

Seasoned pros work the buffet in minutes while newbies like us took forever to navigate the vast choice on offer.

There are some not-so wonderful aspects. Meal times start with an alcohol hand-wash before you enter the restaurants, an unpleasant reminder of the aforementioned food poisoning outbreaks. Before the ship leaves port there is an evacuation drill. While displeasing, both are designed to make your holiday incident free.

Cruising gives you a sense of adventure without the element of surprise – except perhaps when you receive your bill. Embrace the waves, but be careful of the hidden extras.

CRUISING DOS AND DON'TS

DO book your excursions and treatments in advance. The cruise-literate all do, which means some choices may be booked out if you leave it to the last minute. The beauty salon offers everything from Shellac manicures for $25 to collagen-boosting Elemis facials, teeth whitening and even fillers, with a medic on board to administer injectable fillers from brands such as Botox and Restylane There’s a large hair salon also.

DO pack your trainers and gym gear. You can use the time to kick-start a fitness regime. There’s a finely equipped gym and a running track on the top deck with killer views.

DO explore the option of a stateroom with a balcony on the port side. A port-side cabin lets you see all the sights as you enter each city. You can take breakfast on the balcony. Sipping a glass of chilled white wine while enrobed by the sea air takes some beating. It is also a place to read your book in peace in serene surroundings.

DON’T stock up on duty-free booze before boarding. You can’t bring on board alcohol from any of the ports you visit aboard.

GETTING THERE: Aer Lingus and Ryanair both fly to Barcelona El Plat but their arrival times may not suit the final arrival time onboard ship, which is about 2.30 pm. You may have to stay the night in Barcelona.

On the return leg of the journey the ship docks in Barcelona at about 7am giving you ample time to catch return flights home.

A seven-night Western Mediterranean cruise onboard Royal Caribbean International’s Liberty of the Seas costs from €5,198 (including flights) for a family of four – two adults and two children – sharing an ocean view family stateroom, if booked before February 28th. The ship calls at Provence (Toulon); Nice (Villefranche); Florence; Rome (Civitavecchia) and Naples, before returning to Barcelona.

See royalcaribbean.ie, or tel: 1800 932 619