Michael Kellyvisits Albergo Ottocento in Rome
THERE WAS ONE thing we really liked about our hotel in Rome: very heavy curtains made our room exceptionally dark, resulting in four of the best nights' sleep we've ever had. How wonderful - and unusual, given the number of espressos we were drinking each day - to wake up in a pitch-dark room after a restful slumber and find that you've slept until 11am. So top marks to the interior designer for the choice of drapes.
If only I could finish my review of the four-star Albergo Ottocento on that high note and leave the rest of the article blank (crossword lovers could use it as a scribble box).
Alas, I must carry on and tell you all the things we really didn't like about the hotel.
Our stay started badly. The hotel provided a taxi from the airport. After 45 minutes of high-speed bobbing and weaving through Roman traffic, we agreed that it was the most terrifying journey we had ever experienced. I know I can't really blame the hotel, but as it organised it I can't help thinking it was somehow culpable.
Perhaps post-traumatic stress explains why we felt so underwhelmed by our room and the hotel's general dearth of facilities. We were paying €120 a night, for which I expect some or all of the following: a modern, bright room with a comfortable bed, immaculate linen, internet access and a flat-screen television; a nice bathroom with appropriately muted lighting, fluffy white towels and a power shower that will strip the skin off your back; oh, and two complimentary bottles of mineral water beside the bed.
Instead our room was unfeasibly tiny and dark, with a view of a tiny, dark courtyard surrounded by, er, other rooms. In lieu of a flat-screen TV we had a portable telly (when's the last time you saw one of those?) with only Italian channels and no remote.
Mercifully perhaps, the all-round murkiness helped to disguise some interior-design faux pas: highly suspect wallpaper and unnecessarily ornate gold light fittings. In fairness, the lovely marble bathroom was bigger than the bedroom, and we briefly considered lugging the bed in and putting it between the bidet and the sink.
In search of a mood improver I grabbed my trunks and went looking for a pool or Jacuzzi. I found neither and returned to the room duly chastened.
The staff were uniformly friendly. A charming Italian concierge on the front desk, for example, referred to Mrs Kelly as Grace Kelly each time she passed. You can't put a price on how pleased she was.
We picked Albergo Ottocento because of its centrality, and we forgot about its shortcomings as soon as we stepped out of the front door on to Via dei Cappuccini.
Some of Rome's most beautiful sights, such as the Villa Medici, Trevi Fountain and Piazza del Popolo, were a stone's throw from the hotel. The Vatican, in all its splendour, was within easy walking distance, as were Villa Borghese, Piazza Navona and the Pantheon. A longer stroll - 40 minutes - took us to the Forum, Circus Maximus and Colosseum.
Each evening before dinner we strolled along Via Sistina to the Spanish Steps and sipped prosecco at a cafe while watching the boys watch the girls and the girls watch the boys who watch the girls go by. Ah, la dolce vita!
We didn't try the hotel's restaurant for dinner. There were just too many wonderful places to eat on our doorstep - and, besides, we had breakfast at the hotel on our first morning and it was woeful: processed juices, lamentable tinned fruits, terrible coffee and inedible scrambled eggs.
Our experience - unforgettable citybreak in an entirely forgettable hotel - seems pretty typical of Rome. Many midrange hotels appear content to bask in the eternal city's reflected glory, believing (probably rightly) that tourists will be so enchanted that they won't really care what their hotel is like, so long as it's central.
WhereAlbergo Ottocento, Via dei Cappuccini, Rome, 00-39-06-42011900, www.albergottocento.it.
WhatCentral four-star hotel, between Via Veneto and Via Sistina.
RoomsTwenty-three rooms and five suites over three floors.
Best ratesStandard double from €145 to €250. We paid €120 a night for a four-night stay, including transfers to and from Fiumicino Airport.
Food and drinkBreakfast and dinner in Rossini restaurant or Tancredi roof garden.