GO DINE: GRÁINNE McBRIDEeats at Heston Blumenthal's Fat Duck restaurant in England, while AOIFE CARRIGYeats at Ferran Adrià's elBulli in Spain
THE FAT DUCK, Heston Blumenthal's three-star Michelin restaurant, was voted the world's best place to eat by Restaurant magazine in 2005. But how the mighty can fall. At least 400 people reported feeling ill after eating there this month. Blumenthal closed the restaurant when an initial 40 customers fell ill; it reopened last week after tests ruled out food poisoning. The winter vomiting bug was yesterday blamed after three staff and five customers tested positive for the virus.
Opinions are divided when I describe to friends my experience of dining at the Fat Duck. "For the Sound of the Sea course," I gush, "they bring you a conch shell with an iPod in it. You listen to the calls of seagulls and waves crashing while eating what looks like sand with shellfish washed up in it." Eyes widen in awe; brows rise in disbelief.
Sceptics say such dramatic flourishes are gimmicks that allow Blumenthal to charge £130 (€140) for his 17-course tasting menu. Foodies want to know how they can book.
Even now it is difficult to recall all the courses presented to my brother and I throughout the marathon sitting by young and not all stuffy waiters. I had forgotten the parsnip cornflakes – one of six dessert courses – until this morning, when I found the mini cereal box it was served in. It is stamped with the Fat Duck logo. I smiled as I remembered that the milk poured over the crispy flakes was also made from the vegetable. Who milks parsnips?
Touches such as this add to the experience. From the bespoke silver cutlery – a knife fashioned like a duck's bill, a spoon like its webbed feet – to the restaurant logo stamped on the eggs for the signature egg-and-bacon ice cream, the details must be what won over Michelin's reviewers.
They could be seen as gimmicks were it not for the fact that we sampled some delicious flavours during our meal. Blumenthal, whose latest TV series, Heston's Feasts, finishes on Channel 4 on Tuesday, is known for subverting our notions of food. An amuse bouche of beetroot and blood-orange jellies was, we were told afterwards, the chef's little joke. Was the Lego-block-sized red jelly the beetroot or the orange?
For four hours we and the 40 or so others who had persevered with the almost constantly engaged booking line to reserve a table two months in advance enjoyed the production. As well as entertaining guests with quirky concoctions, Blumenthal seemed hell bent on proving that cookery is a science. A mousse of green tea and lime was made in seconds at our table by a waiter dropping an egg white into a smoking vat of liquid nitrogen. A squirt of lime essence from a perfume bottle and, he informed us, our senses were ready to try the bite-size creation.
But a £120 price tag does not a faultless meal make. Not all the courses were completely to my taste. A parfait of foie gras on a moss plate was a little too rich. Salmon poached in liquorice gel was disappointingly lacking in flavour, outshone by an accompanying vanilla mayonnaise. It was the unique approach to presentation, the care over the tiniest of details – I have never seen such miniature slices of radish – that made it an experience to savour.
It was probably with rose-tinted glasses that we happily paid the bill, which, after a bubbly aperitif, a nice bottle of Italian white, dessert wine and ceremoniously presented tea, came to the equivalent of an all-inclusive week on the costas. But it is money I would gladly fork out again.
GMcB
Go there
Aer Lingus (www.aerlingus.com) flies to London Heathrow from Dublin, Shannon, Belfast and Cork. BMI (www.flybmi.com) flies from Dublin.
The Fat Duck is 18km from Heathrow, about €60 each way by taxi.
Ryanair (www.ryanair.com) flies to London Stansted from Dublin, Belfast, Cork, Derry, Kerry, Knock and Shannon. Once you're in London, take a train to Maidenhead from Paddington. The Fat Duck is five minutes by taxi from the station.
Where to stay
Redroofs at Oldfield. Guards Club Road, Maidenhead, 00-44-1628-621910, www.redroofsatoldfield.co.uk. Comfortable rooms near the Thames.
The Hand Flowers. 126 West Street, Marlow, 00-44-1628-482277, www.thehandandflowers.co.uk. Quirky cottage suites 15 minutes from Bray.
Cliveden House Hotel. Taplow, 00-44-1628-668561, www.cliveden house.co.uk. Five-star hotel in large grounds 10 minutes from the Fat Duck.
The Secret Garden Cottage. Bray, 00-44-7774-791048, www.thesecret gardencottage.co.uk. Only a few steps from Blumenthal's restaurant.
elBulli: If Heston Blumenthal is the Mad Hatter of cheffery, this man is the Willy Wonka
THE LAUGHTER borders on hysterical as the diners tuck into an entirely edible re-creation of a Victorian garden, deep-fried crickets, tomato-injected wasps and all. It tastes so good they keep on eating. The meal's creator, Heston Blumenthal, beams to the camera filming Heston's Victorian Feast for Channel 4 and sums up his philosophy: "Food should be all about having fun."
Ferran Adrià is Blumenthal's partner in madcap molecular gastronomy; his restaurant, elBulli, in Catalonia, has a different take on their shared place at the cutting edge of cooking. "The Bulli is about creativity . . . It's not a game. It's not about playing around. It's a serious business."
If Blumenthal is the Mad Hatter of modern cheffery, then Adrià is Willy Wonka: less gregarious, more intense, but equally off the wall in his impassioned quest to push the boundaries of what we do with what we eat. A table at elBulli is as rare as one of Wonka's golden tickets – just 8,000 of several million hopeful diners get to eat there annually – and a visit to this factory of foodie dreams as much a once-in-a-lifetime experience as Charlie and Grandpa Joe's.
Our meal took five hours to complete, during which time we ate more than 30 courses. There were many highlights, moments whose recollection still makes me smile. Adrià makes his diners laugh, too, but where Blumenthal likes to make the weird wonderful, Adrià renders the familiar new to us once again.
Adrià strives to capture something of the essence of an ingredient by reimagining what form or texture its expression might take. A ring of gold melts on your tongue into a swash of the finest olive oil. A green olive bursts in your mouth; it is not an olive, after all, but olive juice, bound in its skin much like an egg will poach in simmering water, solidifying from the outside in.
An eccentric sense of fun is at play. One course is delivered in a styrofoam box. Inside is a frozen Parmesan loaf, its upper airiness morphing into a savoury depth that spins wildly off course with a sprinkling of intense dried raspberries. Another cheese course, presented as "sheep and its wool", involves a meltingly gooey sheep's cheese contrasted with a cloud of sugar.
Many dismiss this kind of wizardry as ego-driven cheffery taken to the nth degree, and there are certainly many poor imitators of Adrià's boundary-pushing techniques who are all style and little substance. But the man himself is a master, and it shows in food that is always as delicious as it is idiosyncratic.
Were there any disappointments on the night? Surprisingly, there were several. At one point the ladies' bathroom was bereft of toilet paper, and at no point were we satisfactorily guided on our wine choice, nor offered matching wines.
But was it worth the months of e-mails, days of travel and bill of about €250 a head? I think so, even if you decide that, ultimately, his style isn't for you. We don't need to love cubism to understand that Picasso was a genius, but we do need to have taken the time to study and appreciate some of his work.
Even global recessions have silver linings, and one positive result is that formerly elite restaurants are becoming more accessible. With less corporate money sloshing around, there's more room at the top dining tables of the world for the rest of us. It's prime time to take your place.
AC
Go there
Aer Lingus (www.aerlingus.com) flies to Barcelona from Dublin, Cork and Belfast. El Bulli is a two-and-a-half-hour drive away.
Ryanair (www.ryanair.com) flies from Dublin to Girona. El Bulli is a 45-minute drive away.
When to go
ElBulli (Cala Montjoi Ap 30, Roses, Girona, Spain, 00-34-972-150457, www.elbulli.com) opens from April to September. Reservations are snapped up every October for the next season's bookings. Cancellations do occur, however, so it is worth emailing bulli@elbulli.com to inquire. Keep your options as flexible as possible. It's worth dropping a line on a monthly basis to check for cancellations.
Where to stay
Hotel Canyelles Platja. Avgda Diaz Pacheco 7-9, Platja de Canyelles Petites,
Roses, 00-34-972-256500, www.hotelcanyelles.com. Three-star hotel with basic but clean rooms, many with a sea view. Doubles from €85 per night, including a decent buffet breakfast.
Almadraba Park Hotel. Platja de l'Almadraba, Roses, 00-35-972-256550, www.almadrabapark.com. Four-star hotel in an elegant spot with good facilities, gardens leading down to the beach and superb sunsets over the bay. Rooms from €225 per night.