BERNE:The Swiss capital is a laid-back city of noble buildings, cobbled lanes and red-tiled roofs, writes MAL ROGERS
‘HELLO” IS SUCH a clever word, isn’t it? It has so many uses. Sometimes I deploy it in the traditional way, as a form of greeting; other times I might use it as a request for someone to repeat something. And only last week I used it as shorthand to express my surprise on examining a rail ticket that said “Zurich nach Basel” when I was indisputably heading nach Berne, with an officious-looking ticket inspector closing in on me.
No need to worry. All Swiss guards – even the ones that work at the Vatican, I imagine – are equipped with hand-held computers. This, coupled with the fact that they might easily double as UN interpreters, meant my mounting ticket stress was sorted and I was on my way no bother, vielen Dank, and have a nice day.
All this introspection made me wonder if Berne’s most famous resident, Albert Einstein, also used the word hello on alighting on his theory of relativity. Employed as a clerk at Berne patent office, he livened up his days by changing the course of the world.
Berne might not strike you as the sort of place where the white heat of creativity needed for an Einstein might flourish. It’s a laid-back sort of place; in fact they were laid back here centuries before that expression was invented and long, long before chilled meant anything other than getting in out of the Alpine cold to down a warming glass of schnapps.
But this tranquil atmosphere also produced Paul Klee. His huge output of paintings – expressionist, impressionist, cubist, naive, surreal and whatever you’re having yourself – is today housed in two galleries in the city.
Being a neutral country deprived the Swiss of lots of good films and songs. Instead they’ve been left with a bite-sized capital full of noble buildings, cobbled lanes, a jumble of steep red-tiled roofs and an Old Town that is a Unesco-protected heritage site. Few cities can be more visibly attached to their history than Berne.
But the Swiss capital has resisted the temptation to become fossilised. Above the sandstone arches, or Lauben, that bisect Old Town, people live and work. Underneath, stretches of covered walkways are lined with shops, bars, theatres – there’s even one dedicated to puppet shows – and the wrap-around smell of coffee. It’s difficult to imagine a more seductive aroma than that of roasted coffee beans in the cracking cold of a Mitteleuropa winter.
The cellars, formerly for storing wine, have mostly been converted into boutiques, cabaret venues, more bars and restaurants.
If you’re a serious chocolate eater and an ardent shopper – a shopachocaholic, I guess – good news awaits you in Berne, big time. As this is the capital of one of Europe’s confectionery superpowers – Toblerone is manufactured here – you can stock up with choccy treats everywhere. Purveyors of millions of calories to the poor and the gentry, Confiserie Tschirren (Kramgasse 73, 00-41-31- 8122122, www.swiss-chocolate.ch) is a difficult shop to pass. Mention my name: they may remember me.
The Lauben, hereinafter referred to as the arches, provide more than six kilometres of covered retailing promenade – overwhelmingly local businesses.
Aside from the shops, Berne ticks all the central-European-medieval-city boxes. Ancient city gates, rattling trams, a big river. The Aar flows protectively around three sides of Old Town – handy enough before neutrality caught on. An impressive 15th-century Gothic cathedral, the Münster – into which you could shove most of the population – stands near the other centre of medieval power, the Rathaus; this impressively elegant town hall is where Berne’s matters of state are debated by the Grosser Rat.
I had to get my guide to repeat that last bit.
In short, Berne is a terrific place for a weekend away: a spot of culture in baroque surroundings, a few great restaurants, a mull over e=mc2, a brisk walk along the river and you’re back before the cat’s missed you.
** Mal Rogers was a guest of the Allegro Hotel, Bern Tourism (www.berninfo.com) and Aer Lingus
Where to stay, where to eat and where to go if you're planning a weekend in the Swiss capital
5 places to stay
Bellevue Palace. Kochergasse, 00-41-31- 3204545, www.bellevue-palace. ch. Palace by name, palatial by nature. Top digs where the sound of leather soles on marble floors may occasionally interrupt the tranquillity. Lofty views of the Alps. Double rooms from about €300.
Allegro Hotel. Kornhausstrasse 3, 00-41-31- 3395500, www.allegro-hotel. ch. A business hotel, but don’t let that put you off. The Allegro probably has the finest location of any Bernese hotel, high on the north bank way above the River Aar. The views, three restaurants, a casino and a wellness centre should keep you occupied. From €180.
Innere Enge. Engestrasse 54, 00-41-31 309 6111, www.zghotels.ch. Rooms are individually styled, so expect drums, cymbals and similar jazz paraphernalia in some and rococo chintz in every corner of others. Doubles from €200.
Belle Epoque. Zeugasse 9, 00-41-31- 3114336, www.belle-epoque.ch. An Old Town boutique hotel with an elegant, relaxed atmosphere. Walking in from the frosty streets to the romantically lit bar and an emergency GT borders on transcendental. Doubles from €220.
Landhaus. Altenbergstrasse, 01-41-31-3314166, www.land hausbern.ch. A historic riverside building in Old Town with cosy rooms. One of the best budget options in the city. Doubles from about €70.
5 places to eat
Kornhauskeller. Kornhausplatz, 00-41-31- 3277270, www.kornhaus.org. Set in the cellars of a former corn store, this stupefyingly beautiful restaurant is like a vaulted underground cathedral, with nooks and crannies where literary and theatrical types loll.
Della Casa. Schauplatzgasse, 00-41-31-3112142, www.della- casa.ch. Bernese tuck is firmly meat-orientated. For the ultimate vegetarian’s nightmare, try the Bernerplatte here; it’s a skipload of ribs, bacon, beef tongue, country ham and frankfurters.
Wein Sein. Münstergasse 50, 00-41-31-3119844, www.weinundsein.ch. Another vaulted cellar restaurant. A four-dish menu is available every night. The wine list bears comparison with any in Europe.
Café Postgasse. Postgasse 48, 00-41-31-3116044, www.cafepostgasse.ch. A friendly restaurant in Old Town, with good local cuisine sporting a few Mediterranean influences. Fish and seafood are specialities – a somewhat unusual deviation in Bern.
Bim Grosi. Bärenplaz 3, 00-41-31-3050888, www.jansengastronomie.ch. Traditional, a bit like a Swiss version of Bunratty. Great fun, and the hosts will expect you to eat like a trencherman.
5 places to go
Zytglogge clock. Zytglotteturm; junction of Marktgasse and Kramgasse. Built on the main city gate, the Zytglogge clock is a bit of a laugh. A few minutes before the hour mechanical puppets begin with a little song by a jester. On the hour, bears and an old king get into the act. It draws a crowd, although few locals.
Einstein House. Kramgasse 49, 00-41-31-3120091, www.einstein-bern.ch. Albert's house, restored in contemporaneous style. Numerous photographs and documents from the scientist's life are on show, a surprising number considering the man once said he never carried a notebook to jot down ideas, "because I have so few".
Minster (Münster). Münsterplatz. The huge 15th-century Gothic edifice of Berne Cathedral – with the tallest spire in Switzerland – dominates Berne. If you can’t see it you’ll certainly hear its bells. Technically speaking, being a Lutheran establishment, it’s not a cathedral at all. But it’s such a beautiful building that it seems silly to make a fuss.
Zentrum Paul Klee. Monument im Fruchtland 3, 00-41-31-3590101, www.zpk.org. More than 2,000 pieces by Klee – almost half his output – are housed in the futuristic Renzo Piano-designed gallery. Klee was born in Berne, then moved to Germany, but, being Jewish, had to flee.
Bundeshaus. Bundesplatz, 00-41-31-3228522, www.parlament.ch. The home of the Swiss federal assembly is where the Swiss war cabinet meets to decide who not to go to war with. Outside are 26 fountains, one for each canton.
Hit the shops
On Tuesdays and Saturdays, the linked squares of Bundespaltz, Bärenplatz and Waisenhausplatz are filled with stalls (www.marktbern.ch).
Hot spot
Even if jazz isn’t really your thing, baby, you should still boogie on down to Marians Jazzroom (Engestrasse 54, 00-41-31-3096111, www.mariansjazzroom.ch), where meganames from the international blues and jazz scene regularly perform.
Don’t miss
Rosengarten. 00-41-31- 3281212, www.berninfo.com, www.rosengarten.be. Okay, I know I never promised you this one, but you really can’t miss out on the views from the Rose Garden. So far I’ve managed to avoid using the description “fairy tale”, but this is no longer tenable. From here the medieval city appears like something from a Hansel and Gretel pop-up book. There, I’ve said it, and I’ve shocked you.
What to avoid
The Bear Pit/Bärengraben. 00-41-313281212, www. berninfo.com. Bear pits have been a part of Berne since the 12th century. Today the sole occupant of this enclosure is a dozy-looking Pyrenean brown bear who sits waiting for visitors to throw him titbits.
Go there
Aer Lingus (www.aerlingus. com) and Swiss International Air Lines (www.swiss.com) fly from Dublin to Zurich. Ryanair (www.ryanair.com) flies to Basel. Both cities are about an hour from Berne by train. Berne station is a five minute walk from Old Town.