New beginnings: I am far from the earth goddess I imagined

When I started this project I had grand ideas of reconnecting with nature and deepening my knowledge of local wildlife and biodiversity. I daydreamed that my garden would be a haven for bumblebees and butterflies, and I would enjoy spending time there, reading, drinking wine and admiring my work. Picture me barefoot in flowy dresses ...how naive I was!

Instead of becoming one with my little patch of earth I have become a curtain-twitcher keeping a beady eye on my two, admittedly misshapen, haphazard flower beds. I am far from the earth goddess I imagined. I am the suburban equivalent of a hall monitor because I have two new enemies – rain and cats.

Since planting I spend most of my time peering through the window from my home office watching out for the oh-so-cute yet oh-so-destructive pests. Their mewling surely must translate to, “number 14 has two fresh flower beds ripe for digging, pooping and general rolling around in”.

I thought I was being crafty in my efforts to deter the neighbourhood felines with blackberry brambles (I couldn’t find any hawthorn local to me but there are blackberry bushes in abundance) and used coffee grounds. After planting my first flower bed I laid my brambles down around the perimeter of the bed and in between the plants, and then sprinkled coffee grounds all over the soil.

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Satisfied with my efforts I took a few pictures and went off for the evening, already picturing the bottle of wine I would crack open to toast my efforts. The following morning, after a downpour of rain, which undid the strong smell of the coffee, I noticed that the brambles had been pushed to the side in certain areas and a little loaf-shaped groove sat between my half-flattened pansies.

I remade my defences but it soon became apparent that the rain every evening dampened the smell of coffee (which was supposed to deter slugs too) and the cats were far too clever to be put off by mere brambles. I even managed to catch one of them in the act; I watched as he used his claw to deftly hook the bramble up and away from the flower bed, giving him plenty of room to poo next to my salvia. I couldn’t help but admire his intelligence while scooping out the present he had left me.

Having said all that I am still enjoying it. I’ve managed to keep the majority of the plants alive and the garden looks a bit better. When I started I thought I would have two flower beds running down either side of the garden. I quickly realised that would cost more money than I was able to afford. For about €160 I was able to buy enough flowers and compost for two small flower beds on either side of the garden. This is definitely not a cheap hobby. I also tried two different methods for the flower beds.

The first was a “no-dig” technique that my mother convinced me was worth giving a go. Experienced gardeners look away now – this is the ultimate hack for someone who wants to start gardening but who doesn’t want or can’t dig into the ground.

I started out by laying down two layers of newspaper into the shape of the bed that I wanted. I went for a semicircle. I watered the newspapers so they adhered to the grass underneath, then I poured compost on top. It took just over three 50-litre bags of compost. At €9 a bag it’s not the cheapest method for creating a flower bed but it only took me less than 30 mins from start to finish. A great option if you don’t have a lot of time or if you’re renting and you’re not allowed dig up the grass.

Are there any downsides to this system? Yes and no; if you want a summer flower bed and only plant annuals for a bit of colour during the warmer months then this could be ideal for you. But if you want a flower bed that works all year round then you will have to maintain this flower bed a bit more than a traditional one. The grass and weeds will eventually come through when the newspaper breaks down so you will have to pull them up and possibly top up with more compost, which is an added expense. For now, though, this flower bed looks great and is a great addition to my garden.

The second bed took me longer as digging was required. As I mentioned in my last column my soil is clay-based so it holds on to water like a sponge. Thanks to probably the wettest April on record it was easy to push the shovel in but it was heavy to lift up and out of the ground. Luckily I had help and my back is still intact.

Overall I don’t think there is much difference between the two beds. I didn’t have to use as much compost on the second one but other than that they don’t look different and I will eventually have to weed both. We’ll see how they fare over the summer and into the autumn and winter.

In terms of flowers I chose pansies, violas, salvia, a fuchsia, a hydrangea, aquilegia, verbena, centaurea and dianthus. I thought I was going to do a mixture of potted planting and bed planting but I decided to take them all out of their pots except for the hydrangea because it cost €22 and it will be easier to manage in the pot. I am hoping I will be able to salvage and repot the other plants when we leave this rental.

I also planted some wildflowers in the bed so I’m still waiting for them to come up. I planted them in the grass too at the bottom of the garden, and I’m eager to see if they manage to come up.

I am away on holiday soon so I am leaving my poor plants at the mercy of the cats. Any prayers, good vibes or candles for their survival are deeply appreciated.