It makes sense to stop making cents

This week, the Central Bank will publish details of how it plans to phase out one and two cent coins from widespread circulation. The coins will remain legal tender, but if everything goes to plan they will soon become as distant a memory as the ha'penny coin or the farthing, if you can remember what that was. The coins – or most of them, anyway – will be melted down, and the steel and copper used for something useful.

But before they go, here’s everything you need to know about the irritating shrapnel to be found making holes in our pockets and taking up valuable space in change jars and behind sofas.

1 One and two cent coins nearly didn't exist. When the powers that be were getting ready to mint euro notes and coins ahead of their 2002 debut, there was much talk of the worth of the very small denominations. The only reason they came into being was fear. When the euro became a reality, our dear leaders declared that the coins had to be part of the deal to stop retailers ripping us off by rounding up prices to the nearest five cent. As if they'd ever do something like that.

2 As soon as they were released, most Irish people – and businesses – realised how useless and annoying lower denomination coins were. They could not be used in vending machines, at toll booths or to pay for car parking. So people stopped carrying them around and started, either knowingly or unknowingly, hoarding them. The rate at which Ireland has been minting coppers is three times the EU average.

3 About €30 million worth of one and two cent coins have made the journey from the mint to shops and on to change jars since they came into being. Until this week the issuing of replacement one cent and two cent coins has accounted for 85 per cent of all coin production for the Central Bank at the mint in Sandyford. Up to the middle of last June, 1,096,853,216 (yes, that's billion) two-cent coins have been issued into circulation in Ireland, amounting to €21,937,064.32. There have been 1,384,491,236 (that's billion too) one-cent coins issued into circulation, amounting to €13,844,912.36.

4 Most people believe the reason things are priced in amounts ending in .99 is to fool us into thinking things are cheaper than they are. The real reason, according to Bill Bryson, is that the mechanical registers of the 19th century could not issue receipts or do internal tallies, so the only way a manager could know a sale was taking place was by the sound of the cash register opening. If everything was priced at numbers ending in 9, then cashiers always had to open the tills to give a penny in change, so every sale was audible.

5 Our coppers should properly be called steelers. They are actually made with 94.5 per cent steel and plated with 5.5 per cent copper. They cost more to make and transport than they will ever be worth. A one-cent coin costs 1.65 cent to produce, while a two cent coin costs two cent. There are more than 25 billion of them in circulation across the EU, which means the total cost of their production is more than €400 million.

6 The otherwise sensible Germans love coppers almost much as Irish country folk love the Dublin club of the same name. About 70 per cent of the people there are dead set against decommissioning because they fear it will lead to stealthy prices hikes.

7 Dutch land is very different to Deutschland. When the euro came into being, bankers in the Netherlands estimated that they could save more than €30 million a year by not using the smaller coins. So they scrapped them almost entirely. As did the Finns. And the Swedes. They all adopted what became known in minting circles as the Swedish Rounding model. This meant retailers rounded prices to the nearest five cent when consumers paid in cash. Both still mint a token amount of one and two cent coins for collectors, but no one in either place buys anything with them.

8 In 2013 the Canadian government announced it was eliminating the penny and stopped distributing coppers. The penny had lost 95 per cent of its value since it was first minted in 1908. Australia and New Zealand scrapped their one- and two-cent coins in the early 1990s.

9 It is worth remembering that we have been here before too. Twice. The farthing was last minted in 1956, after being in circulation in one form or another for more than 500 years; 30 years later it was the ha'penny's time to go. Neither coin was much missed.

10 So where exactly are we? In the weeks ahead, rounding up will become commonplace. For example, a transaction costing €10.21 or €10.22 will be rounded down to €10.20, while one costing €10.23 or €10.24 will be rounded up to €10.25 Two items priced at €10.99 and €3.49 respectively will remain at these prices but when added together the total bill of €14.48 will be rounded up to €14.50. Three items priced at €2.99, €4.49 and €8.17 will also remain at these prices but the total bill of €15.61 will be rounded down to €15.60. Card transactions will be unaffected.

11 The scheme is being described as voluntary, and the Central Bank has said that consumers "will always have the right to exact change". So if you wish, you can demand that retailers give you your exact change. But please don't: the demand will make you angry and the retailer angry and, most probably, anyone waiting in the queue behind you angry. And no one likes it when they're angry.

12 The Change for Charity campaign plans to hold a national Coin Week in the first week of November. It wants the public to bring their coin jars to participating retailers and outlets around the State. The profits will be divided six ways. Five listed charities – the Irish Heart Foundation, Irish Autism Action, St Francis's Hospice in Raheny, Our Lady's Hospice in Blackrock, and Gaisce – will receive equal amounts. A sixth strand of income will be reserved for smaller charities, community projects and youth groups, which would like to apply for smaller amounts of funding but don't have the resources to be involved in the overall project. All the information you need about how to put the coins to good use can be found here: changeforcharity.ie