Labour starts the day with a smile as Micheál makes coalition overtures

It's always nice to start the day with a smile and Labour's parliamentary party enjoyed a good laugh first thing yesterday morning when they heard the Fianna Fáil leader inform the nation that he is gearing up to become Taoiseach.

Micheál Martin puffed out his chest on the radio and told his troops to go home to their constituencies and prepare for government (or words to that effect). That put Labour in a good mood over their rashers.

Although to be fair to Micheál, this is the sort of thing leaders say at think-in time, particularly when a general election is on the horizon.

While Micheál was talking up his chances in Roscommon, Joan Burton was being a little more cautious in Wexford. "It's far too early to talk about the next election," said the Tánaiste, repeatedly stressing that she had a big job of work to do and wanted to get a good run at it in the coming months.

Very good with her hands, is Joan. “I think there’s a job of work to done on behalf of the country by cementing the recovery, bedding it down and making sure that it’s felt by people across the country.”

Brendan Howlin was boasting on Monday about how Labour now had built a platform. Presumably this is what his party leader intended to cement over with her gleaming trowel of recovery. Don't be surprised if Joan turns up in overalls when the Dáil resumes normal business today.

Meanwhile, back in Roscommon, Micheál was pondering aloud about potential coalition partners for his revitalised Fianna Fáil when it sweeps back into power. He isn't too keen on Sinn Féin and has no time for Fine Gael, so that only leaves Labour.

You’d think Joan might have been flattered when she was told that Micheál has his eye on her, but she wasn’t.

So what about going into government with him? “Given that we’ve been dealing with Fianna Fáil’s legacy of the horrors that we fell into . . . I’m not sure that we’d be rushing to that position.”

She’s far too busy doing jobs of work in preparation for the election, sorry, budget. “Labour wants to get out and talk to people,” she stressed, before rushing outside Whites Hotel to greet an incoming bride and groom. If it’s good enough for Enda at his think-in, well, then, it’s good enough for Joan.

She was in great demand with the public throughout the two days, particularly with a large group of pensioners from her area of Dublin who were staying at the hotel. They were a terrific crowd – mainly former servicemen and their wives and inflatable guitars.

They easily saw off the warbling politicians and hacks in the residents’ bar (apparently it was all hours before they went to bed). One of them did a terrific jive with her three-wheeled walking aid.

Joan’s popularity was noted from the platform during the closing session. Cork’s Michael McCarthy, to great applause, said the Tánaiste should get out and meet the people and leave the governing to Brendan Howlin.

Now that Labour had saved the country, said Ruairí Quinn, it was time for the party to save itself. In the meantime, Brendan can mind the shop.

He is having a series of “one-on-one discussions with all the line ministers” in the next few of weeks where they will talk about “additionality” and “adjustments” and departmental bottom lines.

The Minister for Public Reform probably didn’t mean this to sound like a threat. The meetings are carefully scheduled by departmental officials, as opposed to Brendan summoning sulky ministers to his office to tell them he’s going to slash their budgets. Although this year, he thinks he might be able to go a little easier on them because of the “additionalities”. Things are looking up.

Some of his colleagues are trying to get in some lobbying before they meet for their official discussion. As we were speaking to the Minister, his phone beeped.

“That was Leo on there, looking for a quick chat.”

Poor Brendan. The Minister for Health will have him persecuted. Still, at least that’ll give Enda a bit of a break.

All in all, and you didn’t get the impression they were running around behind the scenes trying to knife each other in the back.

It seems that Joan’s style of leadership is going down well. TDs and Senators say she is very approachable and are also reporting that they are getting more time with Ministers.

Even the party’s awkward squad of cranky male senators appeared content.

However, the day ended on a bizarre note when a group called Animal Rights Action Network (Aran) issued a stinging rebuke of the Tánaiste for having declared to reporters on Monday: “There is more than one way of skinning a cat.”

This is not to be confused with fleecing the taxpayer, even though she was referring to the budget at the time.

"Aran this morning is firing off a stiff letter urging her to think before she talks," read their its press statement. While they group believed "there was no harm intended in what she said, those words have now gone out on public platforms and could potentially damage the already troubled animal."

Joan, who is more into tax than taxidermy, rushed to assure animal lovers everywhere that she is not advocating the wholesale skinning of cats. In fact, she is very fond of them.

Anyway, we can exclusively confirm that she got mixed up when she made that statement. She really meant to say: “There is more than one way of skinning a Rabbitte.”

Happy to clear that up.