In a welter of self-congratulation and an orgy of backslapping, the 25th Seanad roared into action as Senators welcomed themselves to the chamber.
“I am conscious we have the eyes of the nation on us,” declared Jerry Buttimer, who recently lost his Dáil seat and is now leader of the Upper House. He was speaking before the vote to select a cathaoirleach.
After Fianna Fáil’s Denis O’Donovan was elected by a huge margin, Buttimer rose to speak again. He was thrilled to be part of such a globally significant event as the first meeting of the new Seanad.
Yesterday was a day to “acknowledge and embrace what is good about Irish politics: which is that the Upper House can meet in such august settings, with the country and the world watching us”.
A bit of a stretch, one might have thought, but no. “We are joined by people from across the world, which means there is an international dimension to our work today – one which will continue, I am sure, under Senator Billy Lawless,” continued Jerry, referring to one of the Taoiseach’s nominees to the upper chamber, who is domiciled in Chicago.
Back-slapping
Billy, to his credit, mustered for his first day in Kildare Street, albeit on crutches. He put his hip out the other day. He sat in the chamber with a little container of painkillers on the ledge before him.
And speaking of pain, two hours on from when the sitting started (all they had to do was elect a chairperson) some of us were enviously eying Billy’s drugs and wondering where we might source a few.
Physiotherapists were put on standby in Leinster House as cases of serious back-slapping incidents climbed throughout the afternoon.
The culprits were not part of the new intake. They were of the serial senator class, primarily but not exclusively from Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael, old hands who can’t help but sing their own praises when they have an audience.
In the absences of a cathaorleach, David Norris was given temporary possession of the gavel and gong.
The Independent Senator for Trinity College has been a member of the Upper House since the dawn of time and therefore holds the title “Father of the House”. Norris is also a ham of the highest order and his stint in charge yesterday was the equivalent of a one-man show.
He took full advantage, complete with his well-worked panto version of a working class “Dubalin” accent and some excellent knockabout lines. Needless to say, he took the opportunity to take some swipes at those incoming members who were in favour of abolishing the Seanad during the last government.
Oh, but they’re happy to have it now. He was appalled that so many of them, on party orders, voted for the destruction of the House. “I said at the time that they were not just turkeys voting for Christmas but turkeys who obligingly rolled over and then trussed, stuffed and eviscerated themselves.”
Thankfully, three heroes galloped to the rescue. Norris explained with his usual modesty. “With three weeks to go we were losing the referendum – according to the opinion polls. I discharged myself from hospital and, together with Senators Barrett and Crown, turned it around just in time.”
Phew! How did they do that? Here’s our hero again: “John Crown, night after night, eviscerated ministers on Radió Éireann. Sean Barrett marshalled meetings in every university in the Republic. I did the Ray D’Arcy Show as well as all the provincial radio stations and commanded a national Twitter campaign. In the end we prevailed.”
Rolled her eyes
By the time Norris finished his tale of derring-do, grown men were weeping.
But he isn’t happy with how Senators – apart from those representing Trinity College and the National University of Ireland – are elected. It’s a terrible system, in his view. As for the idea of the Taoiseach appointing Senators, he’s not in favour of it.
“The whole notion of the Taoiseach’s 11 is repulsive to democracy,” he thundered.
Marie Louise O’Donnell, returning to the Upper House as a nominee, fanned herself in a theatrical fashion and rolled her eyes.
When they got around to nominating a cathaoirleach, Sinn Féin’s Peadar Ó Clochartaigh proposed Rose Conway- Walsh because it would be an important decision “to put a woman in the chair”.
Fianna Fáil’s leader in the House Catherine Ardagh proposed Denis O’Donovan – “one of 11 children from the Sheep’s Head peninsula in west Cork”.
When she finished, Norris complimented her on her “eloquent and elegant speech” and declared Fianna Fáil “was in good hands” with her as their leader.
Denis was seconded by Mark Daly, who went over the top in his praise for the popular O’Donovan, making him sound like a cross between Bear Grylls and Gandhi.
At one point, he quoted Theodore Roosevelt at length when citing Denis as a “doer of deeds”, a man “who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood . . .” And so on.
If he errs, he does so “while daring greatly” and is “someone who knows the triumph of high achievement”. He also said Denis is a keen mackerel fisherman in his spare time.
Norris, meanwhile, had good words for the new leader of the House, remembering his time there. “You were nearly as rambunctious as I was.”
Then he welcomed former senator Donie Cassidy, who was sitting in the press gallery, because he can. And everyone applauded him.
Everyone congratulated Denis, who, in turn, namechecked all his family and extended family, friends and supporters who made the trip for his big day.
Everyone said wonderful things about Maurice Cummins, outgoing Seanad leader, who lost his seat and everyone said wonderful things about former cathaoirleach, Paddy Burke, who then said wonderful things about Maurice and David.
You’d think they were all dead as the misty-eyed tributes flowed.
Talents
The new cathaoirleach said he would not bear grudges and would be fair and impartial. He then read out the names of all those brave colleagues who had fallen in the general election.
The first-timers were watching and listening with interest. Young Fintan Warfield of Sinn Féin had his bottle of water removed from his hand by an usher, who then placed a crystal glass of water in front of him. He looked very amused.
Senator Rónán Mullen, back again, mused: “It is the Seanad of the talents in many ways.”
It was like a lollipop convention, with the amount of licking that was going on. But it wouldn’t be fair to call the place a “talking shop”. That would be like be like comparing Dealz to Bloomingdales. No. Seanad Éireann is a talking emporium.
But the new line-up is interesting. They get to down to business next week. They might surprise us.
