Chrysalis Cowen awakens to float like a butterfly, sting like a bee

DÁIL SKETCH:PLEASE. NOT another chrysalis Cowen and butterfly Biffo moment. We've had far too many of them.

Taoiseach uninspiring for weeks on end. Taoiseach makes a lively speech. Taoiseach moping. Taoiseach sparks to life. Taoiseach irritable. Taoiseach cracks a smile.

He’s like a prop on a ghost train ride; an unremarkable figure in the dark for most of the time, until something is triggered and he leaps out noisily into the light to remind unimpressed punters why they bought the ticket.

It happened again yesterday. There was the usual mumbled monotone during Leaders’ Questions. A few skirmishes, but the Taoiseach is proving more difficult to bait these days.

It’s as if he’s silently counting to three before engaging. He’s letting the Opposition heckle but keeping his cool.

When Eamon Gilmore tried to draw him into a heated discussion on the shortage of community welfare officers, Biffo adopted such a conciliatory tone that we began to wonder about Flann O’Brien’s theory of molecular transfer between man and bicycle.

Does the same thing apply to the current and previous occupants of the taoiseach’s seat in Dáil Éireann? Given that Bertie sat in it for over 10 years, it might be that molecular transference has been taking place ever since Biffo inherited the chair.

This would explain Brian Cowen’s more docile demeanour these days. What’s more, he went out of his way yesterday to thank Enda Kenny and Eamon for their help and support during his recent visit to Brussels.

A large number of Opposition politicians and advisers, who had been listening to proceedings in their offices, fainted when they heard him being so nice.

That, of course, would have been down to the Ahern molecules.

But it was all very ho hum and business as usual. Then came the question and answer session on last week’s visit to the Council of Europe. The one where the Taoiseach arrived back with guarantees and protocols and a more optimistic outlook on life.

The Fine Gael and Labour leaders were magnanimous in their recognition of his achievement. Eamon Gilmore, who said in the aftermath of Lisbon I that the treaty is now dead in the water, is all for it again.

Not Sinn Féin’s Caoimghín Ó Caoláin, who sought to rain on Biffo’s parade.

But he wasn’t going to do it yesterday. With this rare success under his belt, Brian Cowen has spotted a gap in the hedge – it’s called delivering Lisbon II – and he is determined to slip through it.

By God, but he put in a passionate defence of the treaty and of his Government’s decision to hold a second referendum.

His words, now cleaned up for publication and posterity, make for dull reading in the Dáil record. It doesn’t do justice to the Taoiseach’s compelling performance.

Enda Kenny, who had offered to lead the campaign in an obvious swipe at his opposite number’s shortcomings, just sat back and listened. He won’t be needed if Brian Cowen continues to be as good as this.

The Taoiseach didn’t need any notes as he made his pitch. He was speaking of facts, he said, not bogus arguments. He called for a fair debate and he rounded upon those in the No camp who introduced all sorts of spurious grounds for rejection.

This included Sinn Féin, he said, rounding on Caoimghín. The deputy for Cavan Monaghan may not have to spread scare stories about conscription, but he knew that members of his party had no problem doing it when they were knocking on doors.

Spreading the idea that “we might be part of a European army, missus”. And this, thundered the Taoiseach, “coming from those who claim to be part of an army some other time.” He tore strips off Deputy Ó Caoláin.

He listed all the reasons why Ireland has to remain at the heart of Europe. They far, far outweigh any arguments to the contrary. “We could not survive this crisis. We couldn’t survive it. Believe me!” The public gallery was riveted.

Minister for Europe, Dick Roche, came into the chamber, listened for a few minutes and left. Like Enda, he wasn’t needed either. Brian Cowen was doing a fine job on his own.

Another chrysalis and butterfly moment so, and my, how Biffo can unfurl those wings when he wants to. Maybe he won’t regress again this time. The Bertie molecules will be a help.