In his own words Bertie's unique relationship with English and other things

“I didn’t start this. I didn’t start this. I didn’t put up Mr Robson’s (sic) interview.”

Bertie bridles when lawyer Des O’Neill points out that he gave untrue information to Bryan Dobson in the course of a second, lesser known, 2008 interview.

"Well, he rang me, and as I said, I told him 'I know nothing about it'. And then he told me it existed."People were always surprising Bertie with lumps of money. But he was really, really surprised when he found out (around the same time as the tribunal) that the generous Micheál Wall had left a house to him in his will. Funny, but Mr Wall also forgot about this, until the tribunal gave him a nudge.

"Bertie dealt in cash. I think he felt more comfortable with it."Celia Larkin.

On political donations for personal use: "But personally, as an individual, somebody giving you a donation and saying it's for your use, and I wouldn't have many of those in my records because they wouldn't be recorded in the records. You wouldn't get many of those, but as I said, I cannot verify who that was."

Lawyer: "Yes, and the reason that you cannot verify it is that you didn't keep any records of this type of payment."

Bertie: "No".

"I've worked in government offices since 1982 and nobody ever took anything."How Bertie could know this is a mystery, as he never counted the bundles of cash in his drawers. (Yes, yes. He never counted them while wearing a pin-striped suit either.)

"Stronge's report shows quite clearly, eh, you know, that, well, maybe it's not as conclusive, eh, which way it is . . ."A Stronge vote of confidence there from Bertie in 2007, after promises that the report of his banking expert would "produce confirmation" to "back up his moral certainty" that he had not lodged an enormous sum of US dollars into his bank account.

"The reason I probably can't give you a better reflection of what I was doing on the 19th of January is because I didn't do it."And you can't say fairer than that.

A relieved Bertie finally gets his opportunity to explain everything and clear up any lingering questions about his finances: "It's the first opportunity in 7½ years of being tormented about these issues that I have had the chance to come before the justices."

He felt his stint in the witness box went very well: "I did what I always said I'd do. I said I'd come in front of the tribunal. I've just spent four days here and I've done that."

"In Dublin, you'd be unlikely to get even a pint off them."A prophet is never recognised in his own country. Finance minister Bertie had to travel to Manchester to get stg£8,000 worth of appreciation from some well-heeled fans.

Well heeled? You better believe it: "Some of these people were worth £50 million plus at the time. These are serious people."Bertie didn't open the envelope they gave him until he got back to Dublin a day later. Imagine his surprise when he discovered £8k in £50 notes.

"Where is Bert staying tonight?"Concerned pal, publican Dermot Carew, asks concerned pal, Joe Burke, prior to the £22,000 dig-out to help the Minister for Finance put together a deposit for a house. Bertie is swimming in cash at the time.

"The boys and myself want you to have that"said Dermot, handing over the dosh.

Lawyer Henry Murphy, asking Bertie's pal Joe Burke about the living arrangements of the minister for finance: "I'm not saying that it was the Elysee Palace, but can we take it that it was adequate accommodation once it had been renovated?"

Joe Burke: "Well, you know, in some parts of the world, people live in sheds and containers who deem it to be adequate accommodation . . ."

"I didn't count it. He didn't count it."So says Micheál Wall, the man who says he didn't buy a house for Bertie, of the moment he rolled up to St Lukes and gave him £30,000. So Bertie could put a conservatory on the house.

And how did he arrive at that amount of money? "I just took a ballpoint pen figure of what might be needed and brang it with me."

There was another tribunal in motion. Taoiseach Ahern got dragged into that too: "Sign blank cheques? Aw, I did. Signed loads, for all kinds of organisations and clubs. For years. Gave it up now. Cost the State a fortune to find me guilty, but anyway . . . "said Bertie in the Dáil in 2007, cheesed off with Moriarty tribunal's inquiries.

Bertie puts the tribunal talk behind him, telling Tony Blair: "There's a trick about not making venison tough. It should be marinated in a sauce until you've got it tender. It's a trick. You should try it."

As the Mahon controversy gains pace, Labour leader Eamon Gilmore seeks to clarify a statement made by taoiseach Ahern, who has said that the Revenue Commissioners cannot finalise his tax affairs until after the tribunal has reported. Have the Revenue Commissioners confirmed this? "It is not correct. If I said so, I wasn't correct, so I can't recall if I did say, but I did not say or if I did say it I didn't mean to say it that these issues can't be dealt with until the end of the Mahon tribunal. That is not what the Revenue said.

What Revenue said, that they were in the part of the normal process with dealing with these issues and that in the meantime, under the law and they and both the Public Offices Commission believe that there is a similar in law that you do not get a tax clearance cert, that they deal with the other process while the issue is ongoing and hopefully these issues will be cleared up as soon as Revenue can do so.”

Quite.