Joan gets giggles – but Mary Lou could laugh last

Ministers were quoting poetry on budget day and Robert Frost was mentioned again on Wednesday as Cabinet members philosophised about Ireland’s future based on their financial decisions.

But yesterday water charges were back at the top of the agenda and there was no poetic licence or literary pretension in the Dáil chamber.

Fianna Fáil leader Micheál Martin started with the maths. He had worked out that with a set-up cost of €650 million the most Irish Water would recoup was a whopping €175 million with full compliance. “Was it worth the hassle?” he asked.

Five cent on a gallon of petrol would raise that amount, he said, although he wasn’t suggesting it.

Tánaiste Joan Burton said Irish Water was as big an undertaking as the creation of ESB. It would be a “national consumer-focused utility” she said.

“Consumer-focused? They won’t even answer calls,” said Fianna Fáil’s Dara Calleary.

Sinn Féin deputy leader Mary Lou McDonald produced a copy of a letter Wicklow County Council sent to households on its rental accommodation scheme telling tenants that a failure to pay their water charges could result in their eviction.

“Not only do we have a threat to the water supply and potential court action, we also discover that the very roof over people’s heads may be in jeopardy,” she thundered.

That’s 36,000 families in the scheme, she added, in case Joan didn’t get the message.

Evictions have a very deep resonance in the Irish psyche and when questions are raised, it is one to tread very carefully with.

Joan, however, jumped right in.

She said Wicklow County Council was controlled by the Opposition. Warming to her theme, the Tánaiste suggested that when Mary Lou got time in her busy schedule “you might pick up the telephone and make a call to your own public representatives” and have a conversation with the management.

“I am shocked that they would permit a letter to issue like that,” she added.

“It’s a management issue,” shouted Sinn Féin’s Dessie Ellis. “They don’t have influence.”

They’re paid a stipend and should talk to the manager, Joan retorted.

That’s certainly a great comfort to the 36,000 families on the scheme – all those potential voters.

Mary Lou hit back: “If anyone had any doubts as to whether you give a toss about struggling families, your smart-alecky, dismissive and inaccurate response gave them their answer.”

Sinn Féin’s deputy leader asked the question again. “Let’s try again to get an answer and let’s hope for a serious and respectful answer from the Tánaiste.

“People are down to cents,” she added, asking if Joan understood that.

Then she called on the Tánaiste: “Can you please get to your feet and confirm for the 36,000 families on Ras that their failure to pay this bill will not mean – be categoric – that they lose the roofs over their heads?”

Joan, as is her wont, wandered and meandered around the €200 million in spending in the budget including child benefit and the partial return of the Christmas bonus. The Sinn Féin TDs were getting restless.

“That’s not the question,” said Peadar Tóibín.

Still not answering the question Joan, who often refers to her own youth in rented accommodation, became very pointed towards the Sinn Féin deputy leader.

“I’m not sure you have much personal experience of what it is like not to be well off or to be unemployed.”

“You’re getting personal now,” said Mary Lou.

“In choosing to lecture me about issues like that...” Joan started.

“I’m looking for your answer,” said Mary Lou.

“Answer the question,” said her colleague Pádraig Mac Lochlainn.

“Answer a question about your own party’s policy,” said Pearse Doherty as he slammed down some papers on the bench.

Joan said she understood the chair of the Housing Special Policy Committee was a Sinn Féin member. More cheers from the Government side.

“Answer the question,” repeated Mac Lochlainn.

“There are a lot of angry men in Sinn Féin. Try to control it,” said Joan provocatively, adding that the committee chair should raise the issue with the manager.

Funnily enough outside the Dáil Joan later clarified that she had asked her officials to contact Wicklow County Council to verify the facts of the letter.

In the Dáil bearpit she may have scored points against Sinn Féin but as to scoring votes ... that’s another matter entirely.