MIRIAM LORD'S WEEK

Rugby ‘greats’ go head-to-head; the not-so-sexy side of politics; turning again to Mara; take note of the Fine Gael deputy for Dublin North East

Clash of heads

QUICK! Rush out to the chemist and put in your order for earplugs before the panic buying begins.

At the end of next month, Tom McGurk and George Hook, the two big beasts of Irish rugby punditry, go head-to-head across the airwaves with rival radio shows.

If it weren’t for the fact that the pugnacious pair are pitted against each other in the highly-competitive drivetime slot, it would be a definite case of Jockstraps at Dawn.

George, as we know, has been harrumphing to his heart’s content on Newstalk since the year 1937. When he isn’t doing that, he’s in a television studio roaring at Tom McGurk about rugby.

Tom, as we know, has been harrumphing to his heart’s content on various RTÉ programmes since the year 1912. When he isn’t doing that, he’s in a television studio roaring at George Hook about rugby.

Both men claim to wear unfeasibly large shoes and insist they measure at least eight foot tall in their outsized socks. They are real men. They like to talk. They don’t know what a decibel is.

This alarming turn of events has come about thanks to the imminent arrival of a new “multi-city” radio station, to be known as 4FM. From the end of February, it will broadcast a mix of easy listening and current affairs to Dublin, Cork, Limerick, Galway and, for some reason, Co Clare. Their target audience is the over 40s.

Tom remained uncharacteristically tightlipped when asked yesterday to confirm his move to 4FM, although clearly the chance to go head-to-head with Hook appeals to him greatly.

“The Rumble in the Jungle! What a prospect!” he boomed.

“George came 95th on the list of Ireland’s 100 sexiest men this week. Only 10 places behind Brian O’Driscoll, for God’s sake. I wasn’t even mentioned. What’s going on?” Scores to be settled. Ear plugs. End of February. You have been warned.

Politics the big loser

Speaking of that 100 Sexiest Men List, sponsored by Remus Uomo and published during the week by Social Personal magazine, only one politician made the cut.

Shiny Happy Micheál Martin got in under the wire at 97th place. Ahead of him on the list were the likes of the aforementioned Mr Hook, Marty Whelan (93), Bill Cullen (62), Eddie Hobbs (30), Michael O’Leary (7), and Dave Fanning (5).

Broadcaster Ryan Tubridy’s brother Garrett, who made number 10 on the list, could be classed as a politician. Certainly, he puts established Fianna Fáil grandees to shame with his knack for shameless self-promotion. However, as Garrett has yet to be elected to anything – he’s standing for FF in the local elections – he doesn’t really count.

Publisher PJ Gibbons told us: “We had eight female judges from the world of entertainment, business, sport and fashion. They didn’t want their identities revealed.” (Which is handy.) “The Minister for Foreign Affairs got a sympathy vote even though none of our elected representatives were regarded by the judges as having any sex appeal. But because Micheal was on last year’s list, he was kept there as a gesture of kindness to politicians. Unfortunately he slipped down eight places to 93.”

Mara, get in here

There are strong rumours around Leinster House that Brian Cowen has turned to wily old hand PJ Mara to help him rebuild his battered image – both with the public and the media.

PJ hasn’t done any paid work for Fianna Fáil since the days he was Charlie Haughey’s government press secretary. However, he has continued to work on and off behind the scenes for the party, overseeing election campaign strategy and trouble-shooting in sticky situations when the call comes from Government Buildings.

As the new Taoiseach’s popularity slumped amid charges of poor leadership and avoidable communication problems, worried Fianna Fáil parliamentarians began to suggest privately that it might be time to send for PJ.

We hear that the bat-signal appeared in the sky over Merrion Street in recent weeks, and Mara has responded.

It will be interesting to see if there is any change. Already it is being hinted that Cowen will not be making a State of the Nation address any time soon despite Opposition and media calls for one. While Cowen couldn’t be more removed from the Charvet shirt and champagne lifestyle of Haughey, it is felt that any televised State of the Nation speech from the current Taoiseach will invariably invite comparison with Charlie’s notorious “tighten our belts” address.

This argument was bolstered recently when footage of the Minister for Finance Brian Lenihan urging economic restraint was shown on one side of a split screen with Haughey’s speech running on the other.

Cowen still has to communicate his message — but the medium has yet to be decided.

Meanwhile, Dáil observers noted this week that the Taoiseach is looking particularly well. In the run up to Christmas and its aftermath, his appearance became the subject of much media comment, some it less than fair. However, he was sharply dressed when the House returned after its long break, looking freshed faced and rested. He even appeared to be wearing cufflinks, which he couldn’t stop fiddling with.

Those close to the Taoiseach say he has lost almost a stone in weight since Christmas, partly through to a punishing work regime and partly through paying attention to his diet.

Drum-roll for Terence

Eat your heart out, Bertie Ahern. The former taoiseach would dearly love to be able to say he played in Croke Park on All-Ireland final day.

But while The Bert has made a career out of talking up his Dublin GAA connections, a young TD from an adjoining constituency has been quietly lining out at minor and senior level with the Dubs in Croker since the 1980s. (Actually, “quietly” might be the wrong choice of word.) Many a successful politician has built a Dáil career on past GAA glories. Fine Gael’s Jimmy Deenihan – former Kerry great and multiple All-Ireland medal holder – would be the most obvious example today.

All, but one, have hung up their boots. Step forward Terence Flanagan, FG TD for Dublin North East, who will be lining out under the floodlights in Croker tonight when Dublin clash with Tyrone in the opening game of this year’s Allianz National Football League. The GAA is also using the occasion to launch its 125th anniversary celebrations.

This deserves a drum-roll.

And who better to provide it then Deputy Flanagan, who will be taking to the pitch with the Artane Senior Band and playing the side drum.

“I’ve been in the band since I was about eight years old, and progressed in due course from the boys’ band to the senior ranks. Of course, there is no Artane Boys Band anymore, as girls are very much a part of the set-up now,” Terence told us yesterday, as he prayed the weather would take up before tonight’s match.

Sharon Shannon and Mundy will provide the half-time entertainment, while the evening is set to finish with a big fireworks display.

Larry Mullen of U2 has put together a special backing track to accompany the display. He used to be a member of the Artane Boys Band. Unlike his former bandmate Terence, Larry decided not to go into politics, thus leaving a clear run for Bono.

‘Dag’ gone

The Taoiseach, along with Micheál Martin, Dermot Ahern and overseas aid minister Peter Power took a break from their deliberations on the economy last week to attend the farewell reception in the ballroom of Iveagh House for Dermot Gallagher – the legendary “Dag” – after 40 years of public service.

Micheál spoke of the outgoing secretary-general’s “boundless positivity and incredible level of achievement”. Garda Commissioner Fachtna Murphy, Defence Forces Chief-of-Staff Dermot Earley and Forum on Europe chairman Maurice Hayes were there, along with scores of past and present colleagues at Foreign Affairs. A book of tributes was presented, featuring words of praise from President McAleese, Bill Clinton, Tony Blair, Brian Cowen and all surviving former taoisigh and ministers for foreign affairs, including Bertie Ahern and Liam Cosgrave. Highlighting Dag’s role in the peace process, Blair wrote: “He was crucial to the success of the many negotiations: acting with complete integrity but also with great flexibility and tenacity to deliver the result we all wanted.”

Diplomatic matters

Still on matters diplomatic. Bumped into a senior mandarin from an EU embassy a couple of days ago, who remarked that a large number of embassies in the EU have received a similar letter in their postbags over the last few weeks. (Diplomats are terrible gossips). The letter asked them to explain what steps have to be taken in their country to set up a political party.

And the sender? None other than Libertas.