Miriam Lord's Week

Presidential election slogan time:
David Norris - he's read all of Horace Blessus 'n' Save Us - it's Mary Davis!

Superhero Jimmy on a roll with big picture plans

MINISTER JIMMY Deenihan charmed the Seanad on Wednesday when he came in for a debate on the arts.

It was like a mutual admiration society between the former Kerry football bruiser and the assorted arty types in the upper chamber.

The discussion was so lively that it threatened to run over time. Deenihan told acting chairman Pat O’Neill that he was willing to stay in the chamber until all Senators had spoken.

“There should be no time limits on the arts,” he declared, to a fevered chorus of “hear, hear!” from the luvvies and the rest of the Senators, far too used to Ministers running out on them.

Jimmy shamelessly buttered them up. Fianna Fáil’s Ned O’Sullivan tried to hop an old ball when he asked: “In the run-up to 2016, I would like to address a significant omission made in our capital city. Every one of the 1916 leaders is commemorated in the city between rail stations, the Cathal Brugha barracks, Collins and Griffith avenues. One man is not commemorated and I would like to see Éamon de Valera with proper respect in the city by 2016.” Without batting an eyelid Jimmy agreed. “Your suggestion is a good one.” In fact, hadn’t the National Library of Ireland only visited him that morning “and I saw the letter discovered recently that was sent to plenipotentiaries, including Collins, from de Valera in 1921, directing them to negotiate the Treaty. This letter had not been seen before and it was extraordinary to see how structured the letter was. Even then we did not have our own government but the group was well organised, judging by the paper and the presentation of the letter.” It sounded like a foretaste of certain presidential election arguments to come.

Jimmy is on a roll. There was much talk of the movie industry and our need to attract more film companies to Ireland.

Once upon a time, Ireland was in great demand. Things seemed to have gone downhill since former minister John O’Donoghue was photographed in Hollywood with a rough collie and announcing that Lassie was coming home.

Minister Deenihan held out hope for the future. He told Senators that, just before he left for the chamber, he met the Minister for Finance, who told him he would be meeting former Democratic senator Chris Dodd in Washington.

Chris is an old friend of Noonan’s and happens to be the new chairman and ceo of the powerful Motion Picture Association of America.

He represents five or six major studios, Jimmy told his delighted audience, and the Minister is going to talk with him.

“He told me about that this morning, before I came to the Seanad. It’s hot off the press,” swooned Paschal Mooney (FF).

“I suppose it is part of the national narrative at the moment that we are promoting the arts, be it film or whatever . . .” sighed Jimmy, superhero.

A somewhat alarmed spokesman for Noonan told us from Washington this wasn’t an official meeting about the film industry. The two men had a friendly meeting yesterday, but banking was the main item on the agenda.

However, Michael did take the chance to mention the movie business here.

Limerick, for example. No finer location in the world.

McDowell clearly set to focus on McGuinness election campaign

WHAT IS the collective noun for attorney generals – or should that be attorneys general?

There were three of them at the Institute of International and European Affairs in Dublin’s North Great George’s Street this week – near enough to the home of David Norris to advise him on the constitutionality of using physical force to prise a nomination from Deputy Shane Ross. (David and Shane aren’t the best of friends, despite soldiering together for many years in the Seanad as university senators.) The US incumbent, Eric Holder, was making a low-key visit to Dublin, in the course of which he met Minister for Justice and Defence Alan Shatter and gave a talk to the IIEA on the importance of co-operation in the global fight against terrorism.

The audience included his Irish counterpart, Máire Whelan SC, and the redoubtable Michael McDowell, aka “Scourge of the Shinners”. Michael is also a former minister for justice, as is the indefatigable Nora Owen, who chaired the lecture.

US ambassador Dan Rooney was also there, as well as former Garda commissioner Fachtna Murphy. Mr Holder specifically highlighted the assistance received from Ireland in the case of an American woman named Jamie Paulin-Ramirez who came here two years ago, “intending to join a jihadist training camp and learn to carry out acts of violence”. She voluntarily returned to the US to stand trial in federal court for supporting terrorism and, six months ago, pleaded guilty.

Going back a bit further, he recalled how in 1772, before the American colonies declared their independence, members of the Irish parliament played host to the envoy of the American Revolution, Benjamin Franklin. In terms of public relations efficiency you have to hand it to the Americans: Mr Holder had barely finished speaking when the full text of his remarks was on the US justice department’s website.

All very worthy, but the big talking point was how well McDowell was looking. What was it? Finally, the penny dropped. He’s ditched the spectacles. All the better to train a lasered eye on Martin McGuinness – an ardent republican like McDowell, but in another mould – during the campaign.

Insight into momentous materials in Higgins's archive

LABOUR’S CANDIDATE for the presidency, Michael D Higgins, handed over his archive to the National Library on Tuesday. Historian Diarmaid Ferriter did the honours and accepted the treasure trove in his capacity as a board member of the library.

The biggest laugh of the night came when Ferriter was explaining how thorough Michael D has been in keeping all his papers.

“The archive reveals someone who has always written powerfully and communicated his message effectively to many audiences, including young people – my first introduction to the thoughts of Michael D was as a teenager reading Hot Press magazine.

“I was intrigued to see in the lists of contents of the archival boxes that in the middle of all this material is a lawn-mower manual, stuck between files on the Galway anti-war group and the Lisbon Treaty. I suspect sometimes even for Michael D, the only solution to overingesting policy documents and files is to go out and cut the bloody grass!”

There’ll be no time for him to mow the lawn between now and polling day. He’ll have to live up to the description Ferriter says was penned about him by one interviewer a number of years ago, who referred to “the proclamatory, peat-perfumed contralto who is as pink-faced and unstoppable as the Duracell bunny”.

Enda's men come a cropper in jostle for photo opp

THE TAOISEACH went a-ploughing on Thursday, accompanied by every Fine Gael TD, Senator and councillor within a 50-mile radius of Athy.

After a successful tour of the site, he headed for the headquarters of the National Ploughing Association to meet the press, his presidential candidate, Gay Mitchell, superglued to his shoulder.

But the people in the NPA were having none of it. They are avowedly apolitical and wouldn’t countenance even a suggestion that, by his presence at the top table, they were tacitly supporting Mitchell.

They are nothing if not consistent in the NPA. On the opening day, Sinn Féin’s Martin McGuinness was told he wouldn’t be allowed to stand on the platform while President McAleese was performing the official opening.

“Take it outside lads,” was the message to Enda and Gay, and they were forced to retreat and talk to the press on the grass.

After he finished bigging up Gay – his new Very Best Friend – the Taoiseach made a presentation on behalf of the NPA to the two hairiest animals in the showgrounds – bearded Irish Times journalist Seán Mac Connell and the flamboyantly moustachioed photographer John Caffrey, who are both retiring from agri-journalism.

Another candidate for the hairiest in show was the Fianna Fáil heifer. Party members could enter a few raffles to win her. Happily, Fianna Fáil were signing up new recruits, who could then take part in the draw.

“We were wondering what was keeping the grass down outside the Taoiseach’s department before we moved in,” sniggered one of Enda’s entourage, members of which included deputies Pat Deering of Carlow and Patrick O’Donovan of Limerick.

How to get their photographs taken with so much to distract the photographers? The enterprising pair spotted their colleague, Mary Mitchell O’Connor, dressed from head to toe in pillarbox red, right down to the leopardskin-trimmed wellies.

They forsook their leader and jumped into the frame with MMOC, but they still didn’t make the papers. Cropping doesn’t just happen in farming.

Jacks paint goodwill picture for Westminster

A LOT of good work and big thinking takes place in the Jacks in Leinster House.

The “Jacks” is a staff abbreviation of the Joint Administration Committee, which considers matters related to the working of the Oireachtas.

One issue exercising them recently has been the offer from the House of Commons of some significant artwork relating to Irish history, in particular, a well-known work which the committee members are calling “The Home Rule Painting”.

We’re told it shows a meeting of the Home Rule party in Westminster, featuring Charles Stewart Parnell and John Redmond.

Apparently, former Fianna Fáil TD Ned O’Keefe was very keen on bringing the painting across for display in Leinster House. However, at a Jacks meeting on Wednesday, chairman Tom Hayes and his colleagues made a decision against accepting the artwork, as it cost in the region of €20,000 to have it moved from London to Dublin.

The final decision rests with the committee on procedure and privilege, but it is expected to accept the recommendation arrived at in the Jacks.

Meanwhile, Jerry Buttimer, deputy chairman of the Jacks, echoed the views of a number of TDs and Senators when he said yesterday that Westminster should present the painting to their colleagues.

“Why not do the decent thing and help us out by sending it over to the Irish people. It’s not like we’re talking about the Elgin Marbles here. And we deserve it.”

Green shoots evident at golf outing

THE HIGHLIGHT of the Dáil’s sporting year took place last month at Ballyconneely in Connemara, when the Oireachtas golf society held its annual captain’s day outing.

This time they made a weekend of it, combining captain’s day with president’s day.

Former taoiseach Brian Cowen, who was holidaying in the area, turned up en famille and teed off with his former colleagues.

As outgoing captain, the invisible, sorry, Independent deputy for Galway West, Noel Grealish, was the host.

He was aided and abetted by former TD and MEP Mark Killilea, who is president of the society.

Donie Cassidy – remember him – did his usual bustling around as secretary.

Paddy Burke, the affable Cathaoirleach of the Seanad, won the president’s prize. He’s the incoming captain and will be taking the Oireachtas tour to Castlebar when he’s in charge next year.

He won a piece of furniture hand-turned in Letterfrack.

Former Fianna Fáil junior minister, Tom Kitt, won the captain’s prize. He walked away with a most usual lump of crystal.

Taoiseach Enda Kenny turned up on one of the days. He shot a decent round but was beaten by his son.

As a consolation prize he was presented by Deputy Grealish with a currach sculpted from bog oak .

One of the best scores of the day was returned by Labour Senator Lorraine Higgins who plays off a very low handicap.

Society stalwart, Minister for the Environment Big Phil Hogan, hacked his way around the course, while Minister of State Brian Hayes turned in a respectable card in the teeth of a vicious wind.

There was a huge turnout of current and former parliamentarians.

And as if they hadn’t suffered enough in the bracing west of Ireland conditions, the after-dinner entertainment at Ballyconneely was provided by the Kitt family, including former deputies Tom and his sister Áine Brady and their brother, Micheál.

“Actually, they were massive. The sing-song was brilliant,” one of the participants told us.

“I was banjaxed for president’s day. My head was lifting so much I could hardly see the ball.”

What is it about politicians and Galway and sing-songs and drink? At least this time they were on their holidays.

Dire warning over mugs in offices

SPEAKING OF golf, they have a little putting green on the fourth floor in Leinster House, where a mixture of Government deputies and Independent Senators reside.

It all sounds very clubbable and nice, what with the fancy tea that’s just arrived.

Dublin Mid-West TD, Derek Keating, approached party colleague Deirdre Clune – and her of the Barry’s Tea dynasty in Cork – wondering if she might supply the floor with some of the family tea.

Occupants have since received the following communication from Derek: “You might be glad to know that a supply of tea (Barry’s of course) in various flavours are [sic] now available in the little kitchen near the photocopier,” he announced, adding that colleagues availing of refreshment should leave the area as they found it.

“Clean up after yourselves. I gave the place a quick whiz this morning.” Indeed.

“We’re contemplating punishment if mugs are found in your offices.”

That won’t be difficult.

Reality radio and the IRA T-shirt

ROLL UP, roll up! Get the last of the “IRA – Undefeated Army” T-shirts! Too late – they’ve joined the ranks of the disappeared.

On Wednesday’s Pat Kenny show, Bernie from Leitrim got in contact to draw attention to this particular garment, which was on sale in Sinn Féin’s online shop. Didn’t this raise the question, wondered Pat: to which Óglaigh na hÉireann Martin McGuinness gives his primary allegiance? Pearse Doherty, SF deputy for Donegal, never heard such twaddle in his life. The Irish Army, of course.

“I think it’s Republican Publications that’s selling those T-shirts anyway,” he began, “but the reality is, the IRA were undefeated, that is the reality whether you like it or not and the reality is that the IRA have been on cessation . . .” The reality, for Pat, was confusion. Disbanded or on ceasefire? “That’s absolutely ridiculous, Pat. In fairness to you, Óglaigh na hÉireann do not exist.” Óglaigh na hÉireann have been on a cessation for longer than, for nearly as long as the conflict, this phase of the conflict, has taken place . . .” Cessation?

Pearse couldn’t be any more clear: “The IRA no longer exists.”

How could a person such as Pat Kenny “paid by the public taxpayer” put this out? In the interests of what the reality is, and whether Bernie from Leitrim was imagining things, we checked Sinn Féin’s online shop – it’s on their official website – and there, indeed, it was, the “IRA – Undefeated Army” T-shirt. And on special offer to boot, reduced from €15 to €10.99. On the long list of bestselling items, it stood proudly at number one.

We checked back yesterday, only to find that this “black T-shirt in memory of the IRA members’ struggle” was no longer for sale and had dropped right off the bestsellers chart.

The reality is, it was replaced by Wednesday’s number two bestseller, the “Tiocfaidh ár Lá” T-shirt.

DATA SECURITY A HEALY-RAE QUERY

POLITICIANS AND their staff were given a presentation on Wednesday by the Data Protection Commissioner on how to ensure their texts, tweets and e-mails are secure, while ensuring they comply with new regulations in relation to exchange of data.

As he explained what they can and cannot do, Deputy Michael Healy-Rae piped up with a question. What if, say, in a sporting context, somebody unbeknownst to you was to circulate messages of support on your behalf . . . ?

He didn’t get to finish his question, as the place erupted. “I’d better leave,” said the deputy for Kerry South, beating a retreat.