No time to pull strings as Muppet crisis puts TDs in the spotlight

DA IL SKETCH:APPARENTLY, WE'VE been reduced to junk. Whatever that means.

On the plus side, the EU might give us a good scrappage deal.

It’s enough to put anyone in a bad Moody’s.

At least Mary Mitchell O’Connor lifted the spirits on a very serious day in the Dáil, although not by choice.

On Tuesday evening, the Fine Gael deputy for Dún Laoghaire found herself the subject of laddish small-talk by three Independent deputies who were shooting the breeze while waiting for a Dáil vote, unaware that their exchange was being picked up by the microphones.

Mick Wallace referred to MMOC as “Miss Piggy”, while Ming Flanagan and Shane Ross made some snide comments about her penchant for wearing bright colours.

She was very upset when she heard of these hurtful remarks, but to be fair to the culprits, they had no idea the microphones beside them hadn’t been turned off.

In the ongoing stand-off in Leinster House over the wearing of the pink, Wallace, who is beating the Lambeg in that regard, has ended up scarlet. Flanagan, his partner in fashion crime (at least in the eyes of the majority of their besuited colleagues) was also heard commenting on the height of MMOC’s heels, along with her penchant for pink.

Both deputies have been piously bleating that what they wear in the national parliament should be of no consequence, rather, they should be judged on the quality of what they say.

So it was rather ironic that they were caught sneering at the clothes worn by a female colleague who chooses to dress stylishly, but within the rules.

As for Shane Ross, who had described her outfits as “garish”, he sat as far away from the other two as he possibly could on the Independent benches yesterday morning. Nice boy Ross had paid the price for sitting at the back of the bus and trying to mix it with the wise-cracking Beavis and Buttheads.

Tuesday’s exchange was drawn to MMOC’s attention, who was shocked and very hurt by what she heard. At one point in the evening, she was seen in tears and being comforted by some female colleagues. Deeply upset, she decided not to return calls from members of the press until yesterday morning, leaving the three boyos to stew for the night.

Mick Wallace, the main protagonist, at least had the decency to be mortified. He left a string of calls and messages on her phone, finally contacting her at half six in the morning. Mary hung up on him – not because he woke her up, as she hardly slept a wink – but because she was still fuming.

By the time the Dáil met, she had regained her composure and fighting spirit. The former primary school principal has dealt with enough silly boys in her time to recognise three hairy old juveniles misbehaving when they think teacher isn’t listening.

Ming the Self-Righteous wasn’t in the chamber for Leaders’ Questions, although the gallant deputy for Roscommon/South Leitrim later declared that he wasn’t going to apologise for what he said, because he said nothing wrong.

Mick sat in his usual pew at the back, looking sheepish. (This is not a sexist comment on his white woolly tresses, although there is a certain ovine similarity.) All eyes were on the Government benches, although the colour writers were the only ones admitting to it.

MMOC walked in, resplendent in Fine Gael blue. The Taoiseach and leader of the Opposition discussed Moody’s and the bond market crisis.

We were riveted.

Would there be any mention of the Muppet crisis? Mary passed a note to the Ceann Comhairle. She wanted there to be no mention of the previous night’s comments.

There wasn’t, so the Seanad rose to the occasion instead.

“The sexist comments in the Dáil were unbecoming of any parliamentarians,” Cait Keane (FG) told the upper chamber. “I look around this House and I see conduct becoming parliamentarians, both of the female and male of the species. I think the other House should take example from this House, not alone in attire, but in verbal contributions as well.” With that, David Cullinane of Sinn Féin arrived in his shirt sleeves, proof that the contagion is already spreading from the uncouth neighbours across the way.

Labour’s Ivana Bacik remarked that “a culture of sexism still prevails” in the Oireachtas which could act as a barrier to women thinking about entering politics.

Fianna Fáil’s Mary White called for Mick and Ming to be suspended from the Dáil. “I am ashamed of my life that men in the Oireachtas would speak like that about another lady.” Whereupon Ronán Mullen, not surprisingly, blamed the meeja.

“It was made known to me that two female journalists were heard to comment on the issue and one expressed her reluctance to criticise any member of the technical group because they are all such diamonds who are great for copy” he declared.

“Perhaps this illustrates the trivialisation that goes on about issues in these Houses and may be a reason that politicians do not meet high standards in the manner in which they address issues or speak of one another.” Not guilty, your honour.

But there you have it. The women journalists make them do it.

Mary Mitchell O’Connor recovered sufficiently to give numerous interviews, dismissing the remarks made about her as an example of the “casual sexism” in the Oireachtas.

It was interesting around Leinster House yesterday, the way opinion on the incident roughly divided along gender lines.

The men, by and large, thought the comments were out of order but ultimately, just a bit of gas.

Most woman took a more serious view.

“If you called a man ‘Mr Piggy” he’d just laugh it off. It’s a far more insulting and hurtful thing to say to a woman.

“The fact that Mary Mitchell O’Connor spoke on radio about, maybe, having to lose some weight, said it all. It’s a disgrace.”