Some grace in the House as gallant Lord Ross applauds Enda

SKETCH:LORD ROSS has impeccable manners.

When the two main Opposition leaders studiously ignored the Taoiseach’s success at last week’s European summit, it fell to Winston Churchtown to acknowledge his achievement.

It must be down to the breeding. In the weeks leading up to the Brussels showdown, Micheál Martin and Gerry Adams were vocal in their attacks on Enda’s ability to hold his own in the Brussels bearpit.

Find a bit of backbone, urged Micheál, not in the least bit optimistic about Enda’s chances of delivering anything.

Gerry was equally encouraging. The Taoiseach would be no more than a spectator at the meeting, was his withering assessment.

But, of course, they both indicated they would love to be proven wrong. In the interests of the people.

There’s nothing like giving the team a good send-off before the big match. Micheál and Gerry packed Enda off to Europe with a chorus of pessimistic predictions ringing in his ears.

So given the outcome of Enda’s all-nighter with his EU counterparts, the least the Fianna Fáil and Sinn Féin leaders could have done yesterday was give him a pat on the back.

The Taoiseach looked exhausted yesterday after his seismic shift in the early hours of a continental Friday morning. He could have done with a lift.

But they couldn’t bring themselves to do it.

Not that Enda was looking for any credit. God, no. Acclamation is no good if you go looking for it yourself.

Micheál confined himself to Joan Burton’s recent comments about PRSI increases. Gerry chose to talk about youth unemployment.

All the while, Enda sat and waited for a little bit of acknowledgement. Like the supermarket check-out girl ostentatiously sweeping items across the scanner, ring finger waggling, hoping somebody might comment on the diamond engagement ring she got the night before.

There wasn’t a hint of recognition from the couple across the floor. Not even when Enda slipped in a reference to his exploits in a reply to the Sinn Féin leader.

Unlike the ungracious duo which went before him at leaders’ questions, the gallant Lord Ross didn’t forget his manners.

“I note what the Taoiseach said to Deputy Adams about the achievements in Europe last week and I think it would be appropriate if someone on this side of the House congratulated the Government on a seriously successful diplomatic mission,” declared Winston Churchtown, shocking the Fianna Fáilers and Shinners with his magnanimity.

That sort of carry-on belongs in Northern Ireland, or when the Orange Order travels South to address the Seanad.

Cheers erupted from the Government benches.

“You’re back in Dublin South – 78 per cent say Yes!” whooped Patrick O’Donovan.

Whereupon Gerry Adams jumped to his feet and rushed from the chamber.

“Come back, Gerry! Come back!” they roared.

“He’s gone out to meet the queen,” said Michael Ring.

Gracious Lord Ross continued. “There appears to have been a change in the balance of power in Europe because of an ambush of Mrs Merkel by France, Italy and Spain late in the night.

“I hope the Taoiseach was part of that ambush. I do not expect him to take the credit for it, but he was part of that mission to achieve the end of the Franco-German leadership and domination of Europe and I welcome that.”

Enda beamed, although modesty forbids, and all that.

“Frankly, I am not interested in attempted point-scoring or in those who say I should be looking for credit. The people know.”

And while the people may not be much better off in the short term as a result of last week’s negotiations, the Taoiseach said the country had been given an important psychological boost.

“I don’t have any bottom line here, Deputy Ross,” he explained, rather alarmingly. Is it not all about the bottom line? “What I have is a top line.” That’s a new one for the accountants, psychologically speaking.

Socialist Joe Higgins joined the ranks of the churlish during the order of business. The outcome of the summit was nothing more than a vote of confidence in the “savage austerity imposed by the troika” – something which could hardly justify the Taoiseach’s “elation” at five in the morning.

“I appreciate the Taoiseach probably was seriously sleep-deprived and perhaps a little disorientated . . .” he began.

“Aaah, that’s not fair,” interjected Michael Healy-Rae.

Enda responded to Joe’s 5am jibe. “Deputy Higgins mentioned about being disorientated at five o’clock in the morning. I’ve never suffered from that, and if I was disorientated I’d have started talking about travel expenses . . . ” “Way-hay!” chortled Mattie McGrath.

“And I might say to you that the only elation that was evident here was the elation in the buoyancy of the markets,” continued Enda as Joe shouted about Fine Gael’s funding and muttered about “shorts in the market”. Proceedings were far more civilised in the Seanad when the grand secretary of the Orange Lodge of Ireland made a historic appearance.

Perhaps yesterday, with his display of good grace in the Dáil, the former Senator Ross was merely reflecting the superior manners of the rarified Upper House.