Tánaiste misses chance to pull a Christmas cracker

DÁIL SKETCH:IT WOULD have been a cracker of a move. And for years if not decades to come, those who witnessed the cunning ploy could have dined out on the historic event – unprecedented in living memory.

Oh to see the collective jaw- drop reaction of the Opposition – and probably equally shocked response from Government backbenchers. Not to mention the fourth estate.

The Opposition has howled for months, if not years, about the need for innovation, and yesterday morning on the Order of Business there was the perfect opportunity to introduce it.

Alas, the Tánaiste was not about to give the other side what it claimed to want.

Imagine the shock if Mary Coughlan had put it up to them – and said “Yes – the Dáil will sit next Tuesday, in Christmas week”. A missed political opportunity even if it meant a major bureaucratic and logistical headache.

“The rest of the country will be working next week,” Fine Gael’s James Reilly said.

His party wanted to work too, to help the Green Party “keep their word to the people of this country and have an election in February”.

Labour leader Eamon Gilmore wanted the specifics about how long exactly the Dáil would last after returning on January 12th. He was adding up about two weeks for the Finance Bill, when Ceann Comhairle Séamus Kirk suggested he might asked that question again on January 12th.

Deputy Gilmore opined to the chair: “I sometimes feel that you are on a timer” to which Fianna Fáil’s Timmy Dooley quickly retorted: “I sometimes think you’re on a Duracell battery”.

Mr Gilmore, ignoring the backbencher said: “It seems that regardless of what I say, you interrupt on the 19th second.”

The chair sighed. “The loquaciousness is the problem,” and everyone laughed.

Another deputy known for his loquaciousness, Sinn Féin’s Caoimhghín Ó Caoláin, wanted to know what other legislation the Government intended to bring in “before it finally pulls the plug and goes to the park”.

The Tánaiste’s reply was of the “watch this space” variety.

But when she said that while deputies would like to know the date of the general election, “perhaps the people are not as enthusiastic about it”, there was a storm of heckling and jeering.

“You’ve learnt nothing from the Donegal South West byelection” said Fine Gael’s Paul Kehoe.

Mary Coughlan continued, unperturbed: “When he’s made his decision, the Taoiseach will let us all know.”

Minister of State Billy Kelleher quipped: “The Labour Party is hoping we’ll hurry up because it’s going down as well,” in reference to the fall in support for both Labour and Fianna Fáil in The Irish Times/Ipsos MRBI poll.

The poll came up again during the annual cessation of hostilities when everyone wished everyone else a good Christmas.

Fianna Fáil’s Seán Power said: “In football terms there’s always great pride taken by the team that occupies the top spot in the premiership at Christmas.”

In political terms in the wake of the poll, the top spot was “occupied by the Fine Gael party, so I would like to congratulate them on that, and to acknowledge the role played by the invisible man and the comeback kid”.