The Seanad has spoken - Rome hugely relieved

DAIL SKETCH:The pall of gloom over the Vatican City cleared when word filtered through from Seanad Éireann. His Holiness perked up no end.

“I thank the members of the Irish Seanad for their expressions of support and good wishes. I know now that what I am doing is the right thing,” is what he is supposed to have said when a breathless monsignor rushed into the papal apartments with the good news from Dublin.

Naturally, we turned to the Seanad yesterday morning to see if Benedict had been in contact yet, but the Cathaoirleach had nothing to report.

Those politicians in the Dáil hadn’t seen fit to mention the pope’s imminent retirement during their sitting on Tuesday, more concerned as they were with running the country.

So what was on the menu yesterday for Leaders’ Questions? Only mortgage debt, the promissory note deal and the lack of funding for children who require cochlear implants. This last topic was raised by the Sinn Féin leader, who said the provision of €4 million would be enough to transform the lives of profoundly deaf children who needed double implants.

‘Little Billy’

Gerry Adams used the example of a child in his constituency “to personalise and humanise the issue”. He spoke of “Little Billy” who had to wait until he was 2½ before he got one implant, even though it was considered best practice to implant both ears.

This is due to funding shortcomings in Ireland.

“America,” declared Labour’s Eric Byrne, looking pointedly at Wee Gerry, who travelled to the States recently for an expensive medical procedure.

Showing steely discipline, the Taoiseach stuck strictly to the issue raised by Wee Gerry. “I hope Little Billy will be able to have his problem resolved in due course,” he replied, before giving a very detailed account of the cochlear implant programme in Ireland.

Enda could so easily have given in to temptation. He has proved weak in the Dáil when faced with the choice of giving Gerry Adams a straight answer or a cheap jibe about his past.

But not yesterday, not even when Little Billy’s predicament gave rise to thoughts of how fortunate it was for Wee Gerry – living on the average industrial wage – to have an Average Industrialist Sugar Daddy in America to pick up the tab for his US operation when the need arose.

Perhaps this commendable denial of his natural instinct to have a go at Adams was Enda’s nod to Ash Wednesday. Maybe he has decided to turn over a new leaf for Lent.

Either way, well done, Taoiseach. You’ll get your reward in heaven.

Which brings us back neatly to the Seanad and the news that the pope has decided to take early retirement at the age of 85.

A number of Senators had to address this shock development. Rome was listening.

Government whip Paul Coghlan set the ball rolling.

“I join the Taoiseach and Tánaiste in expressing my sincere good wishes to the Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI, on his declaration yesterday of his intention to retire,” he began, going on to talk of the pope’s deep sense of duty, great service to the church and tireless work for world peace.

“Our thoughts and good wishes are with him in particular, but also with those who will shortly gather in conclave to choose his successor,” concluded Paul.

David Norris wasn’t so enthusiastic. “I understand he is to take up residence at the bottom of the papal garden – which may be an inconvenience to his successor – but I am profoundly glad that he is not taking up residence at the bottom of my garden.”

Senators who spoke were anxious to convey their good wishes to Italy. They included Fianna Fáil’s Terry Leyden, who supported Paul Coghlan’s proposal that the Upper House send best wishes to Pope Benedict on his retirement.

Here’s Terry in full flight: “It is a great decision for him in the sense he is 85 years of age. However, it is very historic from members’ perspective, as this is the first Seanad of which I have been a member when a pope has actually resigned.”

At this point, several Senators felt the need to remind Terry that the last retiree stepped down 600 years ago, but the Senator from Roscommon was on a roll. “We should not trivialise this important event. There are 1.2 billion Catholics in the world. One-sixth of the entire population is Catholic and the role of pope is an important one. Ageism does not apply in the Vatican, which is refreshing . . .”

Catherine Noone (FG) jumped in like a flash. “What about sexism?” she asked. “Well said,” chimed Fidelma Healy-Eames.

Female pope

A number of the female Senators agreed it would be a good idea to have a female pope. These weren’t the sort of ideas to be sending to Rome. Fianna Fáil’s Labhrás Ó Murchú steadied the ship, expressing the hope that the closure of Ireland’s Vatican embassy might be reversed.

“With the upcoming election of a new pope, there is a danger that we might be misrepresented among the nations of the world. No one wants that and now is a time to revisit that decision and come up with a solution.”

His colleague Paschal Mooney summed up on behalf of the Seanad. “It is inevitable and appropriate that all sides pay tribute to Pope Benedict XVI following his courageous decision and wish him well in his retirement.”

There is huge relief in the Vatican. The Seanad has spoken.