CYBER SORTER: This week our social- media agony aunt looks at how to protect a toddler's privacy
Dear Cyber Sorter,
I am constantly asked by friends and relatives to send digital pictures of my son to them on e-mail, post them on Facebook and so on. I dont want to do this, but I feel bad saying no. I have a real problem with pictures of kids being thoughtlessly posted on the internet by parents and guardians. I am unhappy that pictures of my son (he is three) could be sent all over the internet outside of my control, cached on computers God knows where, and forwarded or downloaded and viewed by people I dont know or don’t like. My sons image is his own, though I have to take decisions for him now, including enforcing his right to privacy. But once the digital images go into cyberspace they are outside of my control and his. If he decides to put all his pictures on the internet when he is older, then so be it. For now I want to give him a future option of not being embarrassed, frightened or annoyed by these pictures. How do I tell people demanding these digital images that they are not going to get them and why not?
H
Dear H,
Your aim to protect your son’s image is admirable, even if other parents and relatives are less concerned. Overall, it is better to treat his privacy with respect and caution.
The chances are low of your child’s image, among the millions posted every day on Facebook and other social-networking sites, being ill used. However, pictures of children posted by parents with low privacy settings have been misappropriated and used in disturbing settings, such as dating sites.
Facebook lays claim to intellectual-property rights on any photos or videos you post on its site. This means pictures of your son could be copied, sold and used in public without your permission
Your decision may be frustrating for close relatives, such as grandparents who live some distance away and want to see and show off pictures to their friends who are doing the same.
E-mail is a much safer way to send digital photos, however. It is a closed loop, and you can further protect your photos by writing code into the pictures so they cannot be copied.
You could also offer instead to send regular CDs or hard copies of pictures and regular Skype/video chat with trusted relatives and friends.
If you have a persistent nagger on the subject, ask them if they would like pictures taken of them, at work, out having a good time or without their top on and posted on the internet without their permission.
Explain that you believe a child’s image should be particularly carefully guarded because of their lack of say in the matter and their vulnerability, and in the interests of safeguarding their future.
* A vigilant reader has brought it to my attention that last week’s column on tweeting for the boss omitted a piece of Twitter syntax useful to the situation. It is common practice when tweeting in someone’s place to sign it with “^” and the name or initial, rather than using the hashtag. Thanks to Fergus Kelly for pointing this out.
Send your social-media queries and dilemmas to cybersorter@irishtimes.com