There is an essential rule in cross-country running which says it's just as important to look strong as it is to be strong. For Caroline Crowley, part of that strength comes from the feeling that her parents would take enormous pride in seeing her running in the green vest of Ireland, as they are no longer around to witness it.
On Sunday, Crowley will wear that Irish vest for the first time as part of the senior women's team at the European Cross Country Championships in Hyères, France. With two-time previous winner Fionnuala McCormack leading the way, there are hopes they can make it onto the podium, having won team bronze last year.
However, not many people expected Crowley to be part of this year’s team, least of all herself. Her third-place finish at last month’s National Cross Country in Santry caught her and everyone else by surprise, guaranteeing her selection for Hyères and completing her meteoric rise from fun runner to international athlete.
At 27 Crowley is certainly a latecomer to the sport, although from an early age her father Vincent – also a runner with the Crusaders club in Dublin – was constantly encouraging her to give it a go. Her mother Fidelma also realised the great joy running brought into their lives after Crowley eventually joined Crusaders, about three years ago, having previously played tennis and Gaelic football while studying law in Trinity.
Main person
“My dad was the main person in my life, personally, and in my running,” says Crowley. “He was the one to get me to join the running club, and was absolutely delighted when I did.
“I think while finishing third at Nationals was a shock to me, it wouldn’t have been a shock to Dad. He would have said something like, ‘well, why didn’t you take Fionnuala?’ He absolutely adored running, did so much to get me involved, and keep me going.
“My mum as well, although she wasn’t as much into the running. She’d be delighted if I just finished a race. But Dad, when races went well, would be happier than I ever will be. So I know making the team for the Europeans would have been one of the happiest days in Dad’s life.
“But he was there, I know he was there, running with me at Santry. I could feel his presence, and that’s what has carried me through the last year, as terribly hard as it was, knowing he’s there in the background.”
Hard year
When Crowley talks about the last year being terribly hard she is not exaggerating: early in 2014, Fidelma was found unconscious at their home in Killiney and died a short while later. Then in November of 2014, Vincent suffered a fatal heart attack, leaving behind Caroline and her six bothers and sisters: Robert, Amy, David, Richie, Conor and Greg.
The youngest, Greg, was in his Leaving Cert year, and as the second eldest, she had no choice but to help take charge of the family.
Yet running has given her some of the strength to get through it, in ways she is only beginning to comprehend.
“I think in a few more months I’ll be able to look back on it in that way, but when my mother passed away, at the start of 2014, I wasn’t running at the time because of injury. But I felt I needed the running to help me through it. I was just getting back when my father passed away. That was very, very difficult at the time.
“I was also working with my dad’s solicitor’s firm at the time. I spent a lot of time with him, because he was also so into running himself.
“So I think the running has helped, a release in some ways, when things get a little on top of. As one of the eldest there was a lot to look after they passed away, managing the property, all of that. We’ve jobs as well, a few more in college. So there was a lot of minding to be done. And sometimes you felt like a bit of minding.
“But at the same time I feel I’m doing him proud, and that is spurring me on. The Crusaders club are fantastic as well. They’re also my friends, and my social life. It all makes the world of difference.”
Full fitness
Now working with Beauchamps Solicitors in Dublin, Crowley also credits the Crusaders husband-and-wife coaching team of Michael and
Susan McGovern
with fast-tracking her running career, having first “discovered” her talent at the St Patrick’s Day fun run three years ago.
“It took me a while to get up to full fitness, between injury, and then some dietary problems. But then I didn’t really know what full fitness was. I hadn’t even intended on running Nationals until the last minute. I looked at the entries, and being realistic I thought I’d finish around 15th or so. But being ambitious I thought maybe top 10. So to finish third was an absolute shock.
“I was on my own, for a while, after the race, and it suddenly hit me, ‘why isn’t Dad here?’. It was the day he dreamed of, and I just wanted to see his reaction. The running does get emotional like that at times.
“We all crumbled after mum passed away, and really it took so much out of my dad, he was a shadow of himself, and I think that resulted in his own heart attack. We’d never lost anyone close, and I always thought we were blessed. And then we lost one after the other. It was very hard for a while, but we all got through it.
“Four of us still live together, and we’re even stronger now. My biggest worry was that one of us might fall backwards, but we’re all moving forward, together. And we talk about Mum and Dad every day. We just miss them. That’s all.”