Unrelenting sporting misery? Put the kettle on

Paddy "The Hooligan" Holohan could teach us all how to deal with sporting setbacks, and gawd almighty we've had our fair share of late, the final straw that photo of Billy Walsh heading for departures. Where are air traffic control strikes when you need them?

Most opt to drown their sorrows at times like this, but Paddy chooses a more sedate pick-me-up. A rather Irish one too.

“What do you want to do next,” he was asked by our UFC host on Setanta after he’d been pummelled by a person called Louis Smolka, his left eye almost coming out his right ear, his nose mushed and his ginger beard speckled with blood.

“I’m going to have a cup of tea,” said Paddy, like that would put the world – and his left eye – to rights, reminding you of those times the roof blew off the house and the Ma reckoned sticking on the kettle and having a cuppa would make everything better.

Ever since Paddy appeared on The Saturday Night Show at the start of the year with Ash "The Bash" Daly, you couldn't but love the fella, especially because he was pummelled by his first ever Mixed Martial Arts opponent too. Namely, Ash "The Bash" Daly. "

He came in to the club, Jobstown head on him, thought he was a tough man, I beat him up,” she said.

Paddy went home and – yes – had a cup of tea after the ordeal, and came back the better for it. He’ll do the same this time.

Ash “The Bash”? Flying. She did unto Ericka Almeida in the 3Arena what she did unto Paddy all those years ago, the crowd’s ole, oles hitting a feverish frenzy as she repeatedly punched the Brazilian in the face as she lay on her back in that cage thingie, holding her left foot so she couldn’t get up, by now the blood spurting from both of them.

There was a time we thought coal-mining was the toughest way to make a living.

Another thing we discovered at the weekend: the rugby World Cup is still on. Even if it ended for most of us the Sunday before.

It was when Wales played Fiji in the pool phase that Gareth Thomas described the game as a "war of nutrition", and watching Australia and Argentina yesterday you half suspected the victors would indeed be the best fed.

Gutted

The Aussies prevailed,

David Pocock

evidently living off spinach, leaving

Diego Maradona

gutted in the stands. Lest any of the viewers were too young to know who Diego was, TV3’s Conor McNamara informed them that back in the day “he could run through puddles without making a splash”.

Over on Sky it was super-duper Sunday, starting with a malnourished Newcastle being devoured by Big Sam’s Sunderland, before it was time for the Big One at Old Trafford: The Manchester Derby.

Come half-time, at which point United had failed to get a single shot on target, City not faring much better, Graeme Souness declared that he was really enjoying the spectacle. "You just get the feeling it could explode in to a game at any time," he said, Jamie Carragher sitting stoically to his left, thinking he may have gained an hour that morning, but he was about to lose 90 minutes of his life.

It was, though, way better in the second half, United getting one shot on target, so that was something, the final whistle greeted by a collective “meh”.

On to Anfield for part three of the Super Sunday trilogy and, come half-time, Jamie had the look of a man who wanted to pummel his job in to submission.

"Jurgen Klopp likes heavy metal football," he said, "but for 2 ½ games Liverpool have been playing like a church choir – slow, boring, nothing happening, no aggression, lads too nice all over the pitch."

Jamie needs to sit down and have a cup of tea, It’ll all work out.