Desert Outtakes: England’s Lee Hendrie tempts fate with Giroud prediction

When it comes to our neighbours at major tournaments, no fate-tempting declaration, we thought, would ever rival that time in Euro 2000 when Kevin Keegan uttered the immortal line: “There’s only one team that can win this now and that’s England.” Five minutes before Dan Petrescu scored the winner for Romania.

But viewers of Sky Sports News might have wondered, ahead of the England v France game, if they’d just heard another forecast that might possibly challenge Keegan for top spot on that fate-tempting list.

Over to you Lee Hendrie: “I look at Giroud and he doesn’t worry me with the backline we’ve got.”

Straight to number one.

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Louis bows out on a high (just ask Google)

“This was my very last match of my third term as head coach. In that time I coached 20 matches and we didn’t lose a single one. Google ‘Louis van Gaal, Dutch team’ and see for yourself.”

Louis bowing out with a proud record (Google it).

“Van Gaal says that they play good football – but all he did was put on tall people and hit long balls.”

Lionel Messi, not quite wishing Louis a happy retirement.

“Messi greatly disappointed me. I wanted to shake his hand after the match, but he did not want to. I don’t understand Spanish well, but I’m sure he told me something very unpleasant.”

Tall Dutch person Wout Weghorst – who, you suspect, is now wrapped in a Croatia scarf.

“I don’t care. I won’t watch any more.”

Now that the Dutch are out, how interested is Virgil van Dijk in the rest of the World Cup? Not a lot.

QUOTE

“When you watch Rocky Balboa, you want to support him because of his heart and commitment – I think we’re the Rocky of this World Cup.”

Walid Regragui on his yet-to-be-knocked-out Moroccan marvels.

NUMBER: 7

That’s the record number of times England have now been beaten in the quarter-finals of the World Cup. No end to the hurt.

Shearer’s ‘comforting words’ to Kane

It was nice to see Alan Shearer offer some comforting words to Harry Kane in The Athletic after that penalty miss.

“He will put his head on the pillow on this night and the next and a few more besides and he will blink and stare at the ceiling. He will re-live his penalty over and over.”

Was he done?

“He’ll feel dreadful for his team-mates and the fans and his country ... when the moment came, England missed a penalty. For Harry, that will really burn.”

That’s enough now.

“A day won’t go by without him thinking about it or being reminded about it. He’ll always be mulling over what he could or should have done.”

Alan? Stop.

“I promise you, it will stay with him forever. It will hurt Harry for the rest of his life.”

With comforters like that, who needs tormentors?

Morocco fan Samuel Eto’o gets the last laugh

Granted, not all of Samuel Eto’o’s World Cup predictions have come to pass, not least his forecast that his own Cameroon would actually win the tournament, when they didn’t even get out of their group. Also, he reckoned that Qatar would beat England in the last 16, and we know how it went for the hosts.

But. And it’s a big But.

When the Daily Mail looked as his prediction chart last month, they noted that he saw one particular nation “somehow eliminate Spain, Portugal and France in a miraculous knockout stage” before reaching the final. “Bonkers,” they said.

That nation? Yes, Morocco – who have knocked out Spain and Portugal and next play France in the semi-finals.

Some of us chuckled just as hard as the Daily Mail at Eto’o. Who’s chuckling now?