Life after college a brave new world

My first time on the tube was scary; I had to get from Heathrow to Bethnal Green.

If you’re not too familiar with the London Underground that’s a long trip. You have to change lines, which isn’t so bad unless you have a suitcase threatening to burst open depositing your entire life all around you. Looking back, I doubt my fellow commuters would even have noticed. They see far more on the underground every day than to consider it a big deal. They likely wouldn’t have helped either – that would mean making contact with strangers, which I was to find out in this city is a no-no.

Tired and slightly hung over I managed to make my way across London to the east of the city where my friends, who had arrived a few days earlier, were waiting for me. We took a taxi to where we were staying and we talked what we were going to do, see and, most importantly, what we were going to be in London.

"This is it, I’m in London", I thought to myself. "This is going to be my ultimate adventure".

I was determined to prove to everyone that I could do it. I was going to be chic, cosmopolitan, fashionable and I was only 20 years old.

Looking back, I  didn’t think about what it means to move to another country, with no concrete plans, no job and with just a small amount of money.

Despite telling everyone and their granny that I had always wanted to live in London, the decision was impulsive - made it in the midst of a panic when I realised that in a few months I would no longer be a student.

As I’m sure most final year students are well aware: the prospect of life after college is daunting. Up to now, people were satisfied with my plans for college and my choice of course but now the main enquiry had turned to what my plans were after college. Abstract ideas such as five–year plans were even mentioned!

After college? What’s that I hear you say? You got through the Leaving Certificate, you got to college. You climbed your mountain and now, at the summit, people are asking what’s next? Doesn’t seem exactly fair does it?

My final year was a whirlwind of friends, campaigns, parties and a class or two thrown in for good measure. I never wanted it to end. I was comfortable, I was learning, and I didn’t want to think about what was coming next. My friends started researching postgraduate courses so I did too. I applied for a postgraduate course in London. I didn’t get it but my roommate had decided he wanted to go to London anyway so I went too.

I finished my final year and within a week I was in London. I thought I had it all worked out until one day I admitted to myself that I didn’t and I wanted to go home. My whole world turned upside down that day. I came home a few weeks later in February 2013 with my tail between my legs. I had failed; I was not chic or cosmopolitan. It was not the adventure I had briefly dreamt of.

Now I was 21, I was living at home, I had a degree that Ireland had no use for and I felt burnt out. I really didn’t have a clue about what I wanted to do and I had absolutely no idea about how to get it.

In 2013, prospects weren’t great. There weren’t many jobs around, emigration levels were at their peak and my friends were also trying to sort themselves out, both at home and abroad.

You might laugh when you read this but I was in shock, I didn’t know what to do with myself.

I missed my lovely college bubble where ideas and theories were valued, no, lauded.  In the real world I was lucky to get any job and I was to be happy about it or at least that was the attitude of many people around that time. I got a retail job (briefly) and though I hated every single moment of it and even though every time I now walk into a store and flinch when I hear someone ask if there is any more of a certain item left in stock (I was truly terrible at retail), I am grateful for what it gave me. I’m grateful for all of it, including London. Why?

Because as the old adage goes: ‘what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger.’ I usually hate clichés like that but it is true for me. Of all the jobs I’ve had and the places I’ve lived between 2012 -2015 I have finally realised what I want out of life and now I am not afraid to go and get it.

So, to anyone who hasn’t a notion about what they want to do after college or can’t settle on one idea or one place it’s OK. Take some time out, work in jobs you are terrible at, go to places you haven’t been before but most importantly, relax. I’ve worked as a bartender and a sales executive in London and at home I’ve worked in retail, as a tour guide, a call centre worker, and an intern before eventually finding my path.

I think I knew all along what I wanted to do but hadn’t the confidence or strength in myself to say it until I was out of college for a little while. I have finally realised that the world doesn’t end when you say what you want in life.