We left Ireland on a windy autumn’s day from Westport, Co Mayo, heading to the fresh Nordic climate of Oslo. That was 24 years ago.
Several international moves later, we are now based in sunny Singapore.
As new arrivals here, my husband David’s employer invited us and several other new arrivals for some inter-cultural training to learn about the different cultural expectations and practices of the locals in the Asia region. At the end of the course, the big takeaway without exception was that relationship-building was key to workplace success and for the trailing partners, creating new relationships won the vote.
I feel this is such an important message for anyone currently embarking on an adventure abroad and indeed for those who are maybe struggling to adapt to their newly-adopted country. This may be particularly true for the trailing partner.
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For myself, I found that once the children’s school and the house were sorted and my husband went off to work and the house was empty, it was at that moment, I always faced the big question . . . okay, so what’s my plan?
Trying to answer this question was exciting, scary and challenging.
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Initial conversations with parents at my children’s school gate in Oslo sparked my career in international education. It wasn’t all plain sailing and, on reflection, I would say that the goal is to try to balance forming new friendships with maintaining strong connections with your family and friends at home.
It is so important for one’s wellbeing to nurture a sense of belonging and identity wherever you are.
Over the years, my family and I have enjoyed some wonderful experiences. What has also been so special is when family and friends from Ireland came to our home wherever we were. These were just incredibly happy celebrations that brought us all together and our local friends got to taste what it is like to be among the Irish and our ways of celebrating. Our Irish family members and friends found friends too.
Of course, we also missed out on many special family occasions like weddings and Christenings. There were also the unbearably sad times too, returning home to Ireland for funerals of loved ones. But then, this is where the good memories of times spent together at home and abroad helped to sustain us.
Strong positive relationships are key to wellbeing and I feel there is something about us as Irish people – our warmth, our ease to spark up a conversation, even it is only about the weather! That is our strength when we go abroad.
For my daughters, too, relationships were important when abroad.
While they left Ireland as toddlers, our annual trips home and times spent with family and friends in Ireland, as well as family and friends coming on visits to us, have proved so important for them to nurture their sense of Irishness. That said, it has been tough on them in terms of all the moves to different countries and establishing new friendships, while also trying to maintain the ones in the countries they left from.
Overall, their experiences have helped them become adventurous, culturally agile and resilient, while retaining that Irish warmth, humour and capacity to join in the craic.
Our eldest daughter Rachel is an artist and designer based in Paris and our youngest daughter Zara is head of ecosystems EU for Rockstart in Amsterdam.
As Irish people, we are a truly social tribe and therein lies our strength for building and maintaining the relationships that sustain us at home and abroad. It’s always the people who make the place!
- Veronica Cunningham left Ireland 24 years ago. She has worked as an educator and researcher, obtained her doctorate in information science and is currently studying applied positive psychology while also pursuing her love of writing. Her relationship with The Irish Times began many decades ago when she was in secondary school and her dad read it. She still reads it, wherever she is, to get “the perspectives of Irish people on the issues of the day”.
- If you live overseas and would like to share your experience with Irish Times Abroad, email abroad@irishtimes.com with a little information about you and what you do
