Dail Sketch Frank McNallyIt was the budget with no bad news, unless you were an opposition finance spokesman. Members of this small, increasingly vulnerable group were hit by a double whammy of generous welfare increases and, for the first time in living memory, no rise in the cost of cigarettes, drink or petrol.
Sure, they could still claim that Brian Cowen's fiscal reforms amounted to "small beer"; but that was only because he promised tax relief for micro-breweries.
It was the Inchydoney budget, in more ways than one. Fianna Fáil backbenchers must have thought they were back in the treatment rooms in West Cork, as a burly masseuse from Tullamore relaxed parts of them they'd forgotten they had during the McCreevy Years. Father Seán Healy was not among those looking down from the public gallery, but you sensed he was there in spirit. And on a good day for spirits generally, there was nothing in Mr Cowen's speech to upset him either.
Like all budgets, this one was illustrated by happy case studies, including "Elaine and Stephen" (gaining €658 from the changes); "Donal and Frances" (€895); and "Rachel and Luke" (€1,188).
But poor Richard and Joan - the main opposition spokespeople - gained nothing from the budget and, if anything, emerged a lot worse off. With the Government TDs cheering their minister like children at a pantomime, Mr Bruton at least made a bright start, using the old "look behind you!" line on Mr Cowen, to good effect. Last year's budget speech earned the same rapturous reception, he reminded him, and Mr McCreevy was "knifed in the back in July".
After that, the Fine Gael man poked fun at Fianna Fáil's conversion to social justice, in which the new minister played "Little Red Riding Hood" to his predecessor's "Big Bad Wolf". The trouble is, with some tweaking of the plot, the characterisation was too near the truth. Nobody would call Brian Cowen "little" and he's not exactly "red" either. But he certainly had a basket of goodies yesterday. And while broadly following the path recommended by the Big Bad Kildareman, he left Granny €12 a week better off among a raft of inflation-beating welfare increases.
We knew Mr Bruton was in trouble when he cautioned "not all that glitters is gold" and then, unwisely, elaborated on the theme. "When you rub this [ budget], it's the same dull metal underneath," he said. To which cruel Wicklow wag Dick Roche quipped: "A bit like your rhetoric."
Describing the Taoiseach as the "Botanic Gardens Socialist", Labour's Joan Burton went after the Government with a pruning shears, but she too struggled to find a cutting edge. It's tough being an out-of-power socialist these days. When Richard Bruton suggested that there would be no more talk about "left-wing pinkoes", Pat Rabbitte agreed, summing up the dilemma for opposition parties. "We're all lefties now," he said.
