Important executives hate to be caught unprepared, and that's why many would particularly resent being frisked roughly at the doors of all the best hotels and pubs by burly bouncers looking for tiny Swiss Army knives. Such a ban on the handy Victorinox tools - if it were to be introduced - would not only leave senior managers without a 4 cm blade and completely defenceless in public, but also prevent them from picking their teeth, plucking their eyebrows, filing their nails, and even from exercising basic human rights such as making intricate, festive paper decorations with a mini-scissors.

This sort of ban would be a typical over-reaction of the socialistic, nanny State, probably be illegal under EU law, and it could take years and several tribunals of inquiry to have the practice suppressed. In the meantime, untold suffering and mental anguish would take a heavy toll on the top tier of our executive caste, leaving it depleted and ripe for abuse, and could even lead to competition for top jobs from cynical foreign carpetbaggers.

Until now. With the new Swiss Card, executives can happily permit themselves to be body-searched by door dolts, safe in the knowledge that the ruffians will never spot the credit card-sized weapon nestling in his or her fat wallet. Once inside, he or she can turn on rivals, displaying not only the 4 cm blade, nail file, tweezers and scissors, but also a stainless steel pin, toothpick, screwdriver and tiny ballpoint pen. And it's made by Victorinox, the same company that manufactures the Swiss Army knife.

The Swiss Card, around £17 (€21.59), is available from Swiss Army Knife stockists.